~Rawstazia~

~Changes Unfolding, New Beginnings~

2009-09-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

Soooo much has been happening, so rapidly...the biggest change (aside from a major move!) has been that I was just diagnosed with Diabetes!
It has undone every last resistance I've ever had to STAYING raw, & I am now back at 100% (as close as possible), & juicing & smoothies daily, & beginning to exercise daily, as well...
As much as this blog is like an old friend, with all the changes happening, I needed to begin again, & so I've started a new blog, focussed, at first, on reversing this diabetes, & then, when I've accomplished that, with God's help, I'm going to get free of EVERYTHING I've been hindered by, health-wise!
So here's the new blog...C'mon over for a visit!
Slightly different format, but still my journey unfolding!
http://rawstoration.blogspot.com/

~New beginnings, Changes Unfolding ~

2009-07-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

I've relocated, mostly for the purposes of having the support I need to totally re-gain my health, with the consistancy I've been struggling with...& already, things are happening that are confirming to me that this truly is where God has led me, & that He has opened these doors.
I've been here 8 days now, & in the first 6, I shed 9 pounds...(can't wait to weigh in again, have been almost 100% raw most days, & will soon be EVERY day!) I've been swimming, going out almost daily, moving & walking more, trying to stay on a morning schedule, & am getting unpacked & setting up my little gym, & my quilting studio (I decided to sleep in the den & make my master bedroom the studio I've wanted for years!)
The biggest change here is that getting to the grocery store consistantly (& maybe even the Farmer's Market!) & the health food store once in awhile is no longer going to be a weekly struggle, & so that ends the struggle to stay raw!
No more living off the SAD food from the food bank half the month, due to financial limitations...no more only getting out of the house once or twice a week!
I also hope to be driving by the fall, after over 8 years of not driving!
I'll also be going swimming regularily, including water aerobics classes, & have access to a full gym, indoor walking track, & other regular physical activites to start being CONSISTANTY active, something I've struggled with over the years, but know it's time to get serious about...
My first goal is to shed 25-30 pounds this month! With 9 gone already by the 6th, I'm on my way!
I will do this by:
~ Staying 100% raw (I've been 60-90% since arriving, but am ready & my kitchen is prepared now for 100%, as of today! Here we go! Day one, again!)
~ Gradually increasing my exercise, (so the FM doesn't flare up like it always does when I begin getting active, due to overdoing it!I'm still recovering from all the packing, the move, & the unpacking, & both my hands are still totally numb (CTS) so I'm having to pace myself this time, but swimming is something I can do without too much pain, so I'm planning on making it the main source of activity at first...)
~ Getting on a proper sleep schedule, ensuring I begin getting enough sleep finally (something I know has contributed to my weight gain, & my struggle to shed these extra pounds I'm so weary of carrying!)
~ Keeping enough raw food around, bringing it with me on outings, & trying new raw recipes weekly. Also, daily green smoothies, juicing when I have enough produce, & gradually incorporating detox & mini-fasts into my routines, as led, & able.
Well, that's it for now...thanks for checking in on me, for those of you still reading, & Howdy, & welcome to my blog, for the newcomers!
I'll be a lot more consistant now, with my new commitments...maybe even little daily updates! (Especially if the scale continues to reflect the changes I'm making favorably! Yes, health is my untimate goal, but that will only come with the shedding of this extra weight, so it, too, is in my focus!)
HAVE A REALLY GREEN, HEALTHY, RAWSOME DAY...WEEK...MONTH...REST OF THE YEAR!!!

~Sweet, Simple Smoothies~

2009-05-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

My friend Shannon http://butterflytrails.blogspot.com/ went to hear Victoria Boutenko
http://www.rawfamily.com/ speak awhile back, & shared a few things she'd gleaned from her talk...(which she summarazed well on her site) but one thing that stuck, that I've applied is to keep smoothies 3 ingredients...fruit, greens & water...so I've been doing that, cuttin' out all the extraneous stuff, & have really been enjoying them, digesting them easier, & been more satisfied by them....which suprised me, cuz I used to really like putting 10 things in them & trying to identify each individual taste, as well as putting in extra things for health (flax, etc.)...
Anyways, just wanted to share these two sites with you, & a quick update...
...been about 75% raw, struggling a bit at dinners, but am still determined to return to 100%, am using the treadmill, sporatically...am lovin' the sunshine, & am still waiting for produce prices to drop...am working on getting a garden set up, if we don't move...need to decide soon...
..the scales have only budged a pound or two at a time, but it's been slooooooow, compared to when I'm 100%...so I keep on keepin' on, determined to do what I know I need to do...
...I even dehydrated some sweet potato fries last night, gotta go try 'em now!!
Enjoy the sunshine!!!

The Veiw of the mountains from this valley I've chosen...

2009-04-28T15:47:00.000-07:00

I've been praying more lately about the place I've been lingering in with my health.
I see now that I'm in a valley, & am beginning to see much clearer how the Lord is allowing,
even orchestrating these stops & starts I have struggled through in order to continue the deeper work He's been doing in my life, & in my walk with Him.
It's all, still, more about dying to self, choosing to live in the spirit rather than led by the flesh, & the difficulties with consistancy I've continued having are tied in with my ongoing resistance to living a continually crucified life.
This is a sin that I have struggled with in every area of my life, I confess,
{though I have gained victory over it in some areas, by the grace of God...}
He has shown me, clearly, how to care for this temple of His Holy Spirit, but I have wavered,
not fully, whole-heartedly obeying, & I know we reap what we sow...
...whatever the reasons...it almost doesn't even really matter what the reasons are,
(...though He reveals them as they need to be exposed, healed, released...)
All that truly matters, in the long run, is am I going to have eyes to see, ears to hear?
And am I willing to die to even this?
Or am I going to wallow, & allow the past to hinder my obedience?
Will I make more excuses, & continue the struggle...?
SELF would have me focus in on all the reasons...
...but He's leading me to just lay them all down, at the foot of the cross, & repent.
(I know that He would not ask something of me
that He hasn't made provision for me to do, I know...)
Philippians 3:12-14 Pressing Toward the Goal
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected;but I press on,
that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do,
forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
I remember, again, what a brother once told me,
that when we are 'struggling' with something, it is always
(whatever the 'other' reasons)
because God is trying to remove something from our lives,
& we are trying to hold on...
...I know what to do to have health again...
(I could write books about it by now!)
...& I know what He has called me to...
...but I begin, then falter...I walk awhile, then end up in a ditch, again...
...but in retrospect, each time I do, I glance back fro a moment
& see that I have walked further than last time...
...& I stay for a shorter duration in the mud & danger...
...& by His grace I am a wee bit stronger, able one more time to climb back out & press on...

...so Father, help me over these brambles!
Help me climb back up to the light of day,
to the light of the truth you've so graciously revealed to me
about my part in my health's restoration,
so I can serve you with ALL of my strength,
as never before, no longer weak & limited by my flesh,
but truly living the crucified life you call your disciples to walk,
wholeheartedly devoted to your purposes,
disciplined in my living in every area,
able to go wherever you send me,
prepared to endure the hardness of the days to come
without being hindered by the weaknesses of my flesh
that I myself have caused.
Without you, I can do NOTHING,
but with you, Lord, I know I can do ALL things!!!
Amen!

My Own Personal New Year!

2009-04-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

I wrote a poem once, a long time ago, that I can't find now...it started out...

Your birthday is your own personal new year,a point in time between then....& now....

A place to look back on as a change that began in a moment of time,

a time to reflect on the time your life here on earth began with your birth,

& led you to now..................

*~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

~Yesterday, I celebrated another point in time that re-sets the clock,

on another anniversary of my birth...

...& it's been one of the most gently profound & intense turning points of my life...so far....

The time has come for full speed ahead!

No more false starts,

starting & stopping over & over,

beginning, & then, for a variety of reasons,

withdrawing from the new direction I've been heading...

...I'm fully surrendered now to where it's clearly leading!

There is only starting over,

& allowing myself the healing found in no longer hindering my direction,

no longer choosing to linger in ditches,

rather than remaining steadfast on the narrow path...

....if I fall in one, from this day forward,

I'll just climb right on back out,

or reach up my hands to the Father to lift me from the shadows & pain

I've inflicted on myself again...

{...only He understands the deepest reasons why...}

And just now, on the beginning of the Waltons, as they speak of spring's arrival,

even as Hitler was filling the world with the coldness of his evil intentions & actions,

the mountain was coming alive with the spring's glorious beauty & wonder of new life,

& John boy began the show with his usual insight & summary of the story to follow...

"There was the struggle for Mary-Ellen to emerge from her painful winter

(her husband was killed at Pearl Harbour)

& she was emerging into a new spring of her own..."

"That is exactly how I feel....every year on my birthday, but this year, more than most!

This has been a very loooong, painful winter......making spring all the sweeter!!!

Celebrate EVERY new beginning you've been given!

Each dawn is a birth, a day to begin again...

...a birthday is a gift of another year to learn, grow & change...

...growing older is a blessing that the Lord has pre-arranged!"

...& renew a steadfast spirit within me..."

Ten Days at a time, One Day at a Time....

2009-04-13T23:29:00.000-07:00

I've been praying for months now, on & off, about something I read about waaaaaaaay back, somewhere on someone's blog...

...it was someone who was working on staying raw, as well as detoxing, & also shedding their excess weight...

...first they fasted ten days, then were 100% raw ten days...

...I believe that this is how the Lord wants me to spend the next 100 days...50 fasting, 50 days 100% raw, 10 days at a time...starting with fasting, to accelerate the detox I need in from the junk I've been eating, & also to prepare my flesh nature to stay raw 100% without struggle...

...my mind & heart are prepared & committed, but my body has been rebelling a little...time to remind it that it ain't the boss!!!

I've been wanting to return to regular fasting for awhile, but have hesitated due to concerns about how thin my hair has become (fasting for longer periods can cause/accelerate this)...

...I haven't been able to fast for longer periods of time for many years, but remember that I only shed hair from it before after some 3 week fasts I did, & quite a bit after some 40 days ones (water only)....so ten days feels totally feasible from that perspective....

In the past, I actually found it easier to fast than to eat with moderation & self-control, but now that those issues are healed in me, it's only been the fact of my physical limitations that have hindered my ability to return to to fasting...

{...yet I know that fasting is extremely healing......even the Bible states this...}

...yet much as I need more physical healing/detoxing, my main & first purposes are spiritual...there are many things I need to be praying about, & fasting enables me to more effectively put all else aside, & draw near to the Lord, & seek Him more wholeheartedly for His will...

These are my favorite verses (a whole chapter, actually) on fasting, & contains the reference to fasting bringing healing...

Fasting that Pleases God

“Cry aloud, spare not; Lift up your voice like a trumpet; Tell My people their transgression, And the house of Jacob their sins.

Yet they seek Me daily, And delight to know My ways,

As a nation that did righteousness, And did not forsake the ordinance of their God.

They ask of Me the ordinances of justice; They take delight in approaching God.

‘ Why have we fasted,’ they say, ‘and You have not seen?

Why have we afflicted our souls, and You take no notice?’

“ In fact, in the day of your fast you find pleasure,

And exploit all your laborers.

Indeed you fast for strife and debate, And to strike with the fist of wickedness.

You will not fast as you do this day, To make your voice heard on high.

Is it a fast that I (God) have chosen, A day for a man to afflict his soul?

Is it to bow down his head like a bulrush, And to spread out sackcloth and ashes?

Would you call this a fast, And an acceptable day to the LORD?

“ Is this not the fast that I (GOD!) have chosen:

To loose the bonds of wickedness,To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,

And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;

When you see the naked, that you cover him,

And not hide yourself from your own flesh?

Then your light shall break forth like the morning,

Your healing shall spring forth speedily,

And your righteousness shall go before you;

The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.

Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;

You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’

“ If you take away the yoke from your midst,

The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,

If you extend your soul to the hungry And satisfy the afflicted soul,

Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,

And your darkness shall be as the noonday.

The LORD will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought,

And strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden,

And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Those from among you Shall build the old waste places;

You shall raise up the foundations of many generations;

And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach,

The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.

“ If you turn away your foot from the Sabbath,

From doing your pleasure on My holy day,

And call the Sabbath a delight, The holy day of the LORD honorable,

And shall honor Him, not doing your own ways,

Nor finding your own pleasure, Nor speaking your own words,

Then you shall delight yourself in the LORD;

And I will cause you to ride on the high hills of the earth,

And feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father.

The mouth of the LORD has spoken.”

Isaiah 58

Wow! Isn't that beautiful, powerful, inspiring, & convicting, all at once?!!?

I'll be feasting on the Word of God, & His powerful, transforming Holy presence!

{Even better & more fulfilling than even the best raw food!!!}

I'm so excited for the dawning of the new day, & this new beginning He's led me to!!!

What are you called to do the next 100 days?

Wanna join me?

Pray about it!

~Anastazia~

The Power of Choosing, the Blessing of Free Will...& food "addictions"...

2009-04-07T21:19:00.000-07:00

Free will...been thinkin' a lot about it lately, in relation to the raw food way of living...

I confess, the whole concept of addiction to various types of food has just never really sat well with me...

...yes, I realize there are addictive preservatives (especially potasium sorbate & sodium benzoate) in numerous processed foods, & I know that milk has an opiate-like substance in it that can cause addictive cravings, & that we often crave what we're allergic to...

...& yes, I know I was 'addicted' to chocolate for many years...(yet when I decide to give it up, & return to carob, it was a done deal...unless I choose to indulge again...which I rarely do, since realizing I have a strong sensitivity to caffeine...)

And I do realize that there are physical ramifications to what we eat, & how it affects us, in numerous ways......still, I struggle with the concept that we cannot control what we put in our mouths...

...mostly because, much as I have cravings, like anyone else, & much as I've struggled to stay raw for a long period of time, still, I know that each time I've 'broken raw', no matter how far along in my detox I was (...whether just starting, or much further along...) & the cravings & struggles that can come with that, it's ALWAYS happened due to a moment of choosing, of deciding to not honour my commitment to stay raw...

...I either choose to no longer eat the things my taste buds still like {& tell me I want!} that I know are harmful to me, & reap the benefits...

...or I make a decision to indulge, & deal with the consequences...(...in my health,on the scale, with discouragement, & how I feel about giving in again...)

No-one forces the food into my mouth, shopping cart, house, or body...nobody but me chooses to say yes to my flesh, rather than listen to what I've learned, & know now to be best for me...

...the deeper question seems to be, "Why do we do what we know hurts us?"

But sometimes the answer really is as simple as, "Cuz I WANTED to!!!"

{ Or, as the Bible says, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!" }

I remember hearing an analogy once that lent me much strength in my spiritual walk, & my ability to discipline my flesh, & resist temptation... & lately, it's been on my mind & I've been able to apply it to my raw food journey....

..so here it is, maybe it'll help you strengthen your resolve to stay raw, as it is for me...

Picture 2 aggressive pitbulls in your back yard...one is all black, one is pure white...

...each day, when you feed them, you only throw out enough food to feed one...

...they'll fight over it, & struggle, & neither will ever get what they need...

...but if you choose one to feed, the other will eventually grow weaker, & die...

(Ok, you know I'd never do this with REAL dogs, right???!!??)

The spiritual implications are clear, regarding walking after the flesh, or after the spirit,which the Bible says wage war against each other...
...when I applied this to my changing lifestyle, I saw, again, how it all boils down to daily choosing to do what's right...when I "feed the black dog," then I will experience the strengthening of the part of me that wants to eat according to appetite & taste only, in the moment of hunger, seeking things from food other than nourishment!

But when I "feed the white dog", I find myself willingly accepting that it'll take time to re-train my appetites, & that food is meant to nourish, & assist our body is doing what it's meant to do, & I willingly, gladly, easily put the things God made for food into my body, rather than the old things that no longer satisfy, {except momentarily}...

That is, I believe, how some just go 100% raw, & never look back, with few setbacks, & others go back & forth for years...it's all about the will...

...when we feed the wrong dog, when we don't support ourselves 100% in our commitment to do what we know is best for us, & we go back & forth, we're weak sometimes, strong other times, depending on which dog we're feeding...

...we fluctuate because we haven't settled it yet...we want both health & cooked food...we want to eat what we want, & still don't fully accept the consequences...

(... enough to consistantly turn away from harmful things yet, at least!)

...for me, the key to overcoming has always been knowing that it's my choice of which dog to feed...

...eat to live, or live to eat...

...I want to LIVE! Not for food, not with failing health, not letting my appetites control me, but controlling them,& enjoying all the benefits of choosing LIFE!!!

When I accepted the current teaching that say that we struggle with staying raw because of food 'addictions',I started to feel powerless, helpless, like it would always be a struggle...

...yet the moment I return to accepting that I am the one in control of what I put in my body each day, (not my cravings, my appetites, my past eating habits, my brain or body chemistry, or some other outside power) then I am suddenly strengthened, & empowered to make choices that support my goals...

...& I am free from the consequences of thinking I have no choice, or can't change...

(...& most importantly, when I'm not feeling 'in control' enough to discipline my flesh, (like when I'm tired!) I turn to God, & ask His Holy Spirit dwelling in me to control me...& if I'm being sincere, He does!)

To me, it's quite similar to the difference between choosing to stop drinking, (as I've seen numerous people do overnight, {with God's help, even with heavy long-term drinking...} & calling yourself an alchoholic, even many years after ceasing from abusing themselves with alcohol...leaving them always fearful of going back to it, (& needing meetings to help them choose not to) thinking it has a power over them, though no-one ever forced them to drink...

(...& don't get me wrong, I realize things happen/change in brain chemistry with drugs & alcohol that can make quitting difficult, but I beleive it's still always a choice to continue, to return to something that is clearly causing harm...I believe the reasons are more internal/emotional (& spiritual) than physical, is what I mean...

...& yes, I know detoxing from drugs & alcohol can be horrible...but still, for those who are done with it, those who choose to stop, even if they need help, they succeed!

You can lead a horse to water, right?

But if they're not ready to change, to let go of self-destructive behaviour, it doesn't matter how many meetings or detox centers they go to...they have to want to be free more than they want the high...I believe it's the same with food...

...when you think you're powerless, you are...

...when you think you can't stop, you can't...

...when you think something outside of you controls you, it does...

...when you think food can control you, it does...

...& when you change your mind, & take full responsibility, (often requiring letting go of a victim mentality, forgiving, repenting & learning a new way to live!) you suddenly feel the weight of the reins in your hands that were there all along, but your hands were numb to...

...& you can begin to rein in what has been running wild,

as well as take off at a gallop where you've been stuck, walking in circles...

For those who believe differently, please know I don't write this in judgement...

...I'm just sharing what I've discovered is true for me!

It resonates in me, & continues to strengthen me by the day!

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!" {John 8:36}

He is, He has, & He continues to...when I'm willing (an act of the will!) to be free!!!

Go visit the Sunny raw Kitchen!!!

2009-04-04T22:35:00.000-07:00

I've rediscovered one of my favorite blogs today! & I need to tell you, it's SUCH an amazing gift to the raw community!
Do you know about it? it's called, "My Sunny Raw kitchen," & she (Carmella, another British Columbian!) just organized ALL her incredibly yummy recipes, so they're easier to access! She even sorted them into those that need a dehydrator, & those that don't!
{I'm so thankful today, Lord, for Spring Cleaning inspiration!}
OK, so here's the link, go check it out right now, you've gotta see it! Go ahead, I'll wait!
http://thesunnyrawkitchen.blogspot.com/2007/03/this-blogs-recipe-index.html
Isn't it phenomenal??? Doesn't it inspire you to go make something yummilicious & nutritious?!?!? If I wasn't so tired, tht's what I'd be doing right now!!!
But I can hear my pillow callin' my name, & I've been trying for eons to get back on a morning schedule, so I'm gonna listen to what my body is tellin' me & go sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!
Enjoy her wonderful site! & please tell her for me that I said Hi!
~Anastazia~

~RAW SPA BIRTHDAY PARTY!~

2009-03-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

My birthday's coming! Though it's always been a bit of a sad day for me (I was affected deeply by things that have taken place on that day...the Oklahoma City bombing, Waco (& the death of all the branch Davidians, especially the 17 children...& other things...) but last year, the joy of celebrating began to return again, when Hannah threw me a suprise picnic (it was so cold we ate FAST & ran inside! but it was FUN!)
So this year, I have my old best friend I haven't seen in almost 8 years coming (for Easter, the week before, & staying until then...) & her & I & some of my local friends are all going out to my new best friend's house on the lake, & we're going to have a Raw Spa day! Raw lazagna, some raw side dishes, a big yummy salad, & some of Shannon's incredible chocolate fudge with a variety of toppings (nuts, raspberry sauces, etc.) & then we're going to do some natural spa things! (Avacado masques, strawberry astringents, steaming our mudd masques, foot massages, etc .) It's going to be so fun! Hannah's going to help me plan it all out, & I'm sooo looking forward to it!
Now if I can just stay 100% raw until then, & be past the detox stuff I've been experiencing! (Headaches, even migraines, not sleeping well, back pain, tummy stuff...& I haven't even been 100%...)
...& my goal is to shed at least 10 more pounds before then! That'll be my birthday gift to myself!

~The Call of the Raw~

2009-03-18T16:41:00.000-07:00

I often hear the call of the wild...the yearning to go off into the forest, away from all but the beauty of God's creation, to climb mountains, to lay down in a field & watch the birds cross the sky, to sit by the ocean & let the sound of the waves wash over me...
...but now, I also hear the call of RAW...when I eat man-made imitation food, my body grumbles & sighs, expressing it's unmet needs, & I find myself daydreaming of a big salad, mangos, celery, blueberries, avacados, watermelon...
When I give my body what it truly wants, the cells of my body respond with an enthusiastic & loud "YES!!!" & I am in awe at how quickly my energy & strength increase!
Our cells are being replaced daily..how could we believe for even a moment that what we fuel them with doesn't really matter?!?!?!? It's a lie we've been told, & then tell ourselves, to justify eating for taste, not health, & for convenience, not the long-term consequences, & for 'value' (junk food IS cheap!), not the price we eventually pay!
When I'm hungry now, the call of RAW, whole, real food is what I most often hear...when I see food that doesn't truly nourish, it no longer looks appetizing in the same old way....yes, when I'm famished, it can still tempt me, but I'm beginning to listen on a deeper level to what my body is truly hungry for, & what truly satisfies...& the strength to say NO to fake, unhealthy food just comes so much easier, after allowing my body to experience the difference!
That's why I suggest people give raw, whole foods a chance...just do a 30 day challenge, & see how ALIVE you COULD be feeling ALL the time, if you're just willing to EAT TO LIVE, & NO LONGER LIVE TO EAT!!!
I'm realizing that this is similar to spiritual hunger...when I was wandering in the maze of Eastern Spirituality, exploring, & then immersing myself in New Age & occultic practices that I believed would feed & nourish my spirit, I was seeking truth, peace, hope, love, & I 'consumed' things that just didn't satisfy, & left me empty, & longing for more...(like processed food always does...) but when I finally surrendered to who God says He is, & how He revealed Himself, & allowed myself to enter into a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, & acceptance of what He did on the cross, suddenly the difference, like night & day, left no room or reason to turn back!
The difference in EVERY aspect of my life when I eat raw, real whole foods & when I eat processed, man-made, high-fat/sugar/salt foods is also like night & day...
The Bible says to GLORIFY GOD IN YOUR BODY! How can I do that & tear down my health at the same time? I no longer can..."And you shall know the truth, & the truth shall SET YOU FREE!"
Pursuing a better way to live, to eat, to take care of these temples of the Holy Spirit doesn't have to be carnal, worldly-minded, vain or obsessive, or 'another gospel' to be preached...& we don't need to chase after youth or beauty in order to seek health, strength, healing so we have the ability to fulfill what we were put here on earth to do!
It's all a matter of perspective, balance, & wisdom...& for me, now, of obedience...

My faith is NO LONGER in Doctors...for ANYTHING!!! (A rebuke of my self for making excuses for not consistantly staying raw!)

2009-03-08T01:00:00.000-08:00

This week I'm watching my favorite Aunt die of cancer that has gone undiagnosed until a few weeks ago, after over a year of going to Dr's for answers, getting tested, & having them totally missing it, {though she lost a lot of weight & her health was cleary fading...}

I never knew until days ago that she's finally been diagnosed a few weeks ago with being so full of advanced cancer they can do nothing, & it's just a matter of days now before her time here on earth is done.

It ANGERS me!!! & yes, it's my love for her that is reacting so intensely to her situation, but also, I know that it's also seeing the need to face & let go of the last remnant in me of ANY confidence at all in the medical system...

...& even knowing that chemo & radiation may prolong someone's time, still, I grieve over the fact that that level of posioning & destruction also make their last days painful, & in many ways worse than if they had just died without it, as my Aunty Barb is now facing...

...though I faced cancer last year, & was being pressured to go that route, I know now I never would!

So again, here I am facing another wake-up call...

...it's time to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, on EVERY level, for our own health!!!

We cannot learn all we've learned, see our own responsibility, & then continue to ignore our responsibility for our own health, & keep looking to the medical community for answers, in naive, hopeful childlike faith!

Doctors miss things, misdiagnose, misprescribe, over-prescribe, mix prescriptions that shouldn't be mixed, & prescribe things ALL THE TIME that can do permanent harm or kill you!! We know that it happens EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

{Ever watch commercials for drugs, with all their warnings?!?!?}

They mess up surgeries, & hospital stays leave you exposed to infections that antibiotics can't even touch anymore, infections that can maim or kill you!

Things will only change (for us individually, as well as as a nation!) when we face & accept that the medical system {& what it offers} has MAJOR limitations that we try to minimize or even ignore in our dependence on them for FAR too many areas of our lives that are actually ultimately UP TO US!!!

(& God, of course!)

Yes, I realize they have their place.......yes, they do save lives......but when we KNOW that SO MUCH of what we go through is preventable, & diet or lifestyle related (caused!) then how can we just blindly go on depending on the undependable?!?!?

Why are we so unwilling ( & call it "unable") to discipline our flesh, our appetites, our carnality that has gotten us so unhealthy in the first place, finally just facing our lazy, self-centered flesh nature & JUST DO IT!?!?!?

{I'm speakin' to myself here, not pointing the finger at anyone......I'm just so weary of the yo-yoing of transitioning, rather than victory......& of the consequences this has brought to my health & entire life!}

When we know that eating raw, organic whole foods keeps us so much healthier, & that even when we do have health issues, it helps us heal from things so much more effectively, & when we know the benefits to our immune system, to our health on every level, why would we return like lambs to the slaughter to fake food, based only on taste, habit, emotions, & not on life-giving substance???

Why are we willing to spend so much money (especially compared to other nations!) on pampering & entertaining our flesh, yet not on feeding it pure, whole, organic foods?(Even if it means we can't afford the other things we want!)

Why do we spend our time doing things that actually wear us out & tear us down,but not on things that build us up???

Why do we spend hours a day online, or watching tv, or on the phone,(or all of the above!!) then still say we have no time to exercise???

(Even knowing the energy to exercise often only comes when we actually begin exercising?!?!?)Even knowing eating the things God made for food will lead to a healthy, long life, soooo many just live on in addiction to habits destroying them, hoping they won't be one of the ones to suffer too long, or experience the diseases related to abuse of the body...

...as if it were all by CHANCE, a Russian roulette of sorts that has nothing much to do with their actions...

...I refuse to waste waste one more day riding the fence!!!

Or one more year, or MONTH, WEEK, OR DAY going back & forth!!!

I hereby take FULL & TOTAL responsibilty for my health, from this day on for the rest of my life!

I will depend on GOD ONLY for ALL of my health needs, & in His ability to guide me, & help me do what I now KNOW to do, {& I will continue to also trust Him for supernatural healing when that is the only option, as with my inflammatory breast cancer last year that His miraculous power removed from my body!}

...& I will NOT hold onto the thought in the back of my mind that a Doctor, medicine, hospitals, etc. are NEEDED for me to be healthy & live a life that glorifies Him!!!

I will only turn to them for diagnosis, {only if God leads me to!} in order to gain knowledge of what to research & focus on healing naturally, the way He created our self-healing bodies to function!

Please understand that, yes, the passion welling up in me over this is intense...

...but it also comes with a deep calm, a peace that comes with a much deeper level of surrender than before...

...If you haven't experienced this already, may you know it, too!

...I wish so much my sweet, red-headed, voice-of-an-angel songbird Aunty Barb had.

I pray my other friends & relatives, & all those I'm led to, will allow me to speak this truth into their lives, too, when my life & health fully reflects what I know, so they can observe the transformation it has brought me, Hannah, & our future, & see that it could also be theirs!

James 4:14-15

"For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”

Another New Beginning, time for re-committing!

2009-02-28T23:15:00.000-08:00

(Taken from a post I wrote at Rawfu, in part...)
I never really know how to classify where I'm at...
..."fallin' off the raw wagon" now looks totally different than it used to...
...I still eat more produce than I ever used to, but I still only feel totally ALIVE & like I'm moving towards total health when I'm 100% raw!
Last nite, I got DETERMINED, totally recommitted, & formulated a plan to get back to 100% raw!

Here's my plan:
~ I made a DAILY weigh-in chart & a commitment to weigh in in front of Hannah each morning! (She's my Bob'n'Jillian combined! & my little raw food chef, too!)
(cuz for me, getting on that scale each morning & seeing a drop at least every other day keeps me goin'! (For my health issues to be resolved, I NEED to shed weight!) I've gained back some of the 60+ lbs I've lost & cannot allow that number on the scale to go any higher! I'm feelin' it, believe me!)
This works 4 me cuz I have so much to lose, & as soon as I go 100% it starts comin' off! When you don't have as much to lose, it could be discouraging, but you could make a chart for however often you're planning to weigh -in, (if you are) & write it out for at least a few months in advance...this tells your brain that you're in it for the long haul, & there's no goin' off course in a week or so...
...every time I wrote my weight in (each morning) the last time I re-committed, I saw that chart & it re-affirmed my goals, & the weight-loss goal I'd projected reaching...& it worked last time, so here I go again!~
~ CLEAN OUT THE CUPBOARDS & FRIDGE! Hannah agreed to do at least one month 100% with me, so there's NOTHING IN THE HOUSE to tempt us!
~ Find at least one new recipe to try each week, based on ingredients I already have, & each shopping trip, try new produce, & have a list of things to get that will offer more variety (4 example, I need to start making dehydrated bread/crackers, but haven't, cuz haven't had the ingredients! It would definately help with transitioning & stayijng raw!)
~ Set clear, defined exercise goals, & where I write down my food intake for the day, I also write down the kind of physical activity I did each day. I set weekly goals as well. (First week, exercise half an hour to 45 minutes a day...each week, increase by 15 minutes minimum. (I have FM, & have to go gradually or I don't wanna move for DAYS after over-doing it!)
~ Plan social activities that either don't include food, or eat first, bring my own food, & be prepared to say, 'No thanks!" (Often this is just a matter of my mindset...no-one really notices/cares whether you eat or not, if you don't make a big deal out of it...) For the first few weeks of getting back on track, in the past, I've just not gone places I KNEW I'd be tempted, but I'm stronger now, & can go & say no if my mind is geared up, & I'm not starving when I arrive!
~STAY HYDRATED!!! Definately NOT letting myself get dehydrated helps!!!! & when I eat cooked, I tend to not drink as much water, so often the first thing I need to do to STAY RAW is increase my water, carrying it with me, keeping it at my desk, etc...drinking water right before you eat, or with food actually dilutes your digestive juices...it's better to drink half an hour to an hour before a meal, & in between meals. When I'm hydrated, I don't overeat, & my cravings definately decrease...& the weight comes off faster!
~ Most importantly for me, I pray daily for strength, self-control (a fruit of the Spirit in the Bible (meaning evidence that the Holy Spirit is working in our lives, & that we are led by the Spirit, & not the flesh-nature), & I repent for gluttony, laziness, & recieve His grace & mercy & a new beginning when I turn from self-destructive ways & ask Him to help me obey my theme scripture:
1 Corinthians 6:19-20..."What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have of God, and you are not your own?For you are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."
I belong to Him, & it doesn't glorify Him that my health & weight are so hindered by what I've chosen to fuel my temple with (rather than what He created for food/fuel!)
So for me, it's an act of obedience, & devotion, out of my love for Him, & my desire to more effectively serve Him & others with my life, & in this body that motivates me to get back to doing what I know works to RAWstore me to health!

Most of all I've learned that I need to just MAKE UP MY MIND!!! THEN the rest all falls into place!
Last night, I finally came to the place again COMPLETELY of knowing that IT'S TIME for 100% again! Spring is right around the corner, then another HOT summer!
I talked with Hannah about all I want to do with her this summer, & I know I can't do those things with her if I can't handle moving around out in the heat! (like last summer!& the last 5 or 6!)
We discussed some mutual goals, & some plans for rewards for sticking to it, & we talked about doing a Raw Picnic/Luncheon at church for my birthday (on a Sunday in April) & where I want to be by then, & we realized together how much more energy we both had when 100% raw, how much better we felt in every way, how much we've both changed since before the holidays, & sinse going back to half raw, half cooked...& how we want to get back to how we were, & STAY there!
We also discussed getting to the farmer's market WEEKLY somehow, & getting the storage room cleared out so we can get to the cold room for our summer produce!& again I decided that when I can't afford raw, or keep enough produce in the house, that is when I'm meant to fast...NOT eat the canned stuff or Mac'n'cheeze from the food bank, or buy Ichiban noodles cuz it's really cheap! (A meal (2 pkg's) for 50 cents! With 50 grams of fat, a ton of sodium, & msg., a chemical feast & white flour! YUCK! Never again!!!)
NO MORE EXCUSES FOR ME!!!! I'm, once again, READY TO BE 100% RAW!!!
{Does all this sound familiar? I know I've been here before, but yet I know I've been progressing, learning, changing, & am more ready now than I've ever been to "Just do it!"}

I need your prayers!!! (& support! & suggestions!)

2009-02-25T14:58:00.000-08:00

I'm crawling out of the dregs of cooked & even worse, FAST food (why do they call it that when, really, it slows ya down soooo much!????!) & my body is craving & NEEDING to get raw again!
I've been trying for weeks to return to the life-sustaining way of eating I've been so thankful to discover, but only ever make it partway thru the day raw, or at the most, a day or so raw, then give in to the cravings I need to begin all over again to conquer!!! I need your prayers!!!!
I feel like I'm back at the beginning, though I know I've come a long way, & learned much along the way...still, the cravings, especially for bread, which I've NEVER been one to crave, have gotten so strong it's hard to get anything done until I yeild to them! (Invasion of the body snatchers???!!??)
I want to just do a fast, some detoxing, something, ANYTHING, to accelerate the process again...but have so much to do each day, I won't have much time to rest, like I feel is best with fasting/detoxing...
...so please pray for me to have wisdom & direction in how to proceed, & the self-control to get my flesh cucified once again in this area of my life!
Is anyone still even reading this? ***waves feebly***

WOW! WHERE DID THE TIME GO????

2009-01-29T15:01:00.000-08:00

Ok, time has been FLYING by lately, & it seems a month takes about a WEEK to go by!!!
I've been easing back into 100% raw after the holidaze...we've been dealing with extreme cold lately (especially in our little basement suite!) & have been struggling with FEELING cold ALL the time! But I've decided to allow myself hot herbal tea whenever I need to warm up, & that's helped a lot with making me able to eat a cold meal!
I've been able to order some bulk organic produce again (for the first time in months!) & so we have TONS of apples, grapefruits, sweet potatoes, (fro chips in the dehydrator! & Hannah loves 'em baked!) & I've been making blender applesauce LOTS! It's so incredibly yummy! Here's the basic recipe...(from my blog at RawFu...)
RAW BLENDER APPLESAUCE:
Fill blender with apples, & any other fruit you like (mostly apples, though! Apricots, peaches, blueberries or other berries, bananas go really well...)
Add some water, maybe a fourth of the blender......add some greens if you like, or green powder......throw in some cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, whatever you like...
...you can even add a little vanilla...then blend, blend, blend!
{Then make another blender full, cuz the first one'll go real FAST!!!}

I've also been WALKING DAILY!!!
My sweet homeschooler, Hannah, really wanted a treadmill for fitness, so she got one with her homeschool funds...& then got a paper route for 3 days a week! (which I've been trying to do with her, but it's been 20 below, & my body doesn't seem to function in that kind of cold! It's supposed to warm up soon, though, & then I will each time!)
I've been a little grieved over the weight I re-gained between the end of November & about a week or so ago, but am not letting it deter me from pressing on & getting my focus back on reaching towards my goals!
AUGH! I just dumped half a blender full of coconut water all over the carpet!!!
& I was craving it sooooo much!!!!
Ok, I've calmed down now...*sigh*...
Time to go for a treadmill walk, & figure out what else I can put in my smoothie...
...One day at a time, sweet Jesus!!!

Sick'n'tired of bein' sick'n'tired...

2008-12-21T07:23:00.000-08:00

I've once more been reminded that illness actually sometimes has many gifts to offer...each day, I see another reason God allowed us to be sick like we've been, {though I also see what brought it on, in both the physical & spiritual realm.}
I've had to let go of numerous plans & goals for the holiday season that Hannah & I had...(she's sick now, like I was...this hasn't been our typical 2 or 3 day cold, or bout with the flu, but eight or nine days of being totally wiped out!)...
...one of the things let go of being that the gifts we're giving to our family, friends, & church family were all going to be homemade......some are, but not most......ministry opportunities that were on our hearts, but unable to be fulfilled...
...even our raw treats (rawnog, hot chocolate, & desserts) party has had to be cancelled...
...but the blessing has been that my focus has been 100% zeroed in on what is important, eternally!
I've been able to spend so much more time in sweet communion with the Father, & He's made clear that there are things coming that most are not prepared for, & changes coming many will find impossible to handle without abiding in Him...
...& my NEED for my health to dramatically improve quickly has been heavy on my heart, as God has been revealing the REASONS it is crucial!!!
So, once more, the extraneous is just naturally falling away...& what clings is being peeled off, layer by layer. Once more, priorities are being re-focussed, & I'm hyper-aware of the calling on my life, & the time that is approaching rapidly to walk in it as an overcomer, no matter what goes on around me!
Days of wonder, days of awe......worth all we've been through, & then some!
Our God IS an AWESOME God!!!!
May He reveal more of Himself & His will for your life during this season that His coming to earth is celebrated......Remember, HE IS COMING AGAIN!!!!!
(& I believe it will be sooner than many expect!!!)
People, get ready!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8NWqO85P6Y
...& my favorite version, by one of my favorite singers...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKqtdNxOs00
(Worth taking the time to listen to, I promise!
Especially her version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow", found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUwTdqPkluY&feature=related

So right now, my priorities are to get back to 100% raw, get Hannah better, & put our house back together!
My best friend I haven't been able to see for almost 9 years may be coming to visit this week!

An Exciting, & Yet Dissapointing Night...

2008-12-02T13:27:00.001-08:00

Sorry I haven't been posting much lately, I've been sewing like crazy, preparing for Hannah's homeschool group's Presentation night/Craft sale (which took place last night!)......& we've been preparing a song that we sang...
the dissapointment was that NOT ONE BAG SOLD...hardly anyone bought ANYTHING from ANYONE, everyone was too busy visiting, & preparing for their performances...
I did do a little bartering, to support the young artists, (knitting, jewelery) & let Hannah pick out some birthday presents (a much-needed hat & scarf, & some jewelery...)
I guess I shouldn't have counted on selling at least a few to have $ for Hannah's birthday party on the 11th...with all the dentist's bill's we've both been incurring, & how behind I am on bills, it looks like the plans she's been tentatively making won't be able to happen now......*sigh*......but I'm just going to lay it down, not fear, & trust God...we still have a week & a bit before then, & a few days before we need to send the invitations.
The EXCITING part of the evening was that we sang together for the first time in public, & though I messed up a few times, no-one really seemed to notice, & it was very well recieved, & seemed to really bless & minister to people...
...suprised a few, too, quite a few told us later that they had no idea we could sing like that, & that Hannah could harmonize so well! (I only discovered that fact recently myself! Lol!)Considering we never made it all the way through the song ONCE before we performed it, & we only actually worked on it a few times, I think we did well...
...we're going to video-tape it & share it here (& maybe on YouTube) soon, but my hand is a wreck right now, numb & sore, & no strength...
...I actually wanted to post it for Thanksgiving, (I wrote it for Thanksgiving years ago) but seeing as that's part of the theme for this challenge, I'll make sure to do it before it ends, at least!
God has confirmed to me through the annointing on it last night, as well as certain comments & responses that this really IS what He's given us to do (well, one of the main things) as He's been repeatedly showing me, but I've been afraid to 'just do it', not sure if it was just MY will, or His for us...
...& I felt I was too old now...& that my weight is too much of a hinderance...
...one person came up to me I'd never met before & said, "You used to do this before, didn't you? You need to get back to it, sharing the gift you've been given..." (few know I used to sing in churches, youth detention centers, even on radio, & TV a few times...)
So I've committed to playing & singing EVERY SINGLE DAY, & teaching Hannah my songs, & to play them as well, (though I'm praying & believing that God will heal my hands...) & I'm going to ask on Freecycle for a cassette tape deck, so I can listen to & sing along with the recording I did in my friend's studio about 15 years ago...
(...I only have it on cassette tapes...do they make an affordable machine that can take stuff on tapes & put it on a CD?)
...& how am I doing with raw? On the days I exercise, 100% is no problem...on the days I don't...um, definately having problem staying 100%......so that's something else I'm COMMITTED to do EVERY SINGLE DAY, (Exercise at LEAST half an hour, & work up a sweat!) cuz in order for my health to improve, I NEED to stay 100%...
(anything less feels like I'm going backwards, in my body, on a cellular level...I still have a LOT of healing to do!)
The other dissapointing thing about last night is, I was quite self-conscious of my weight (there were easily 100 people there, many I didn't know...) & it hindered me from being able to totally get in the spirit...I can't even hold the guitar properly cuz of it!
So I know that shedding MORE is necessary before I can really enter into doing this the way it's meant to be done...
Time to go take & post pics now of all the new stuff I've been making on my Etsy store site...I didn't yet cuz I was hoping to sell most or ALL of it last night...
http://anastazia.etsy.com/
...I'm such a dreamer sometimes...(one of my best, & worst qualities! *grin*)
As always, I covet your prayers!

~Challenged by the Challenges~

2008-11-25T07:40:00.000-08:00

Lately, my dear readers, I've been challenged by numerous things:
(aside from the 40 day challenge I'm currently doing at RawFu!)
~A messed up sleep schedule, (couldn't sleep till dawn, having to get up on 4 or 5 hours sleep too often) & all the FM symptoms returning with the exhaustion...
~Dental problems: Getting a tooth pulled, fighting infection off in the hole that it left, & having two other half done root canals acting up, but I have no more dental coverage until the new year, so can do nothing about them, & am praying I don't lose the teeth because of that!
~ Major financial challenges (big dental bills for both Hannah & I, behind on other bills, & her birthdays fast approaching!) & though I totally trust God to provide, & my bags are starting to sell, http://anastazia.etsy.com/ ...still, it's been adding to the stress levels affecting me...
(I've been doing a major sewing marathon for many weeks now, preparing things to sell, which has given me tennis elbow, & aggrevated my carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists...but it's been worth it, if it helps me be able to throw Hannah the Birthday party she's wanting & already planning, & gets us through the holidays!)
These challenges have sometimes affected my ability to stay raw, mainly due to having to rely on the food bank to keep food on the table numerous times the past few months, & not being able to afford the things that help me stay raw...(I'm not reacting to stress by going back to cooked/junk food anymore, at least!)...
...BUT I AM an overcomer!!! & I will NOT be overcome by ANY of this!!!
I will NOT allow these challenges to keep me from progressing in continuing to improve my health so I can live the life I was created to live!
The weight is coming off again, slowly but surely, & the nights I sleep well, & sleep early, the improvements in my pain levels & ability to be on my feet come rapidly, so I'm doing all I can to keep it turned around...(I've been getting up at 7 or 7:30 the last 2 days again, & am determined to continue!)
I appreciate all of your support, encouragement, & faith in my ability to do this, to reach my goals & regain my health, & most of all, I request, need & count on your prayers!!!
Please forgive me for not posting more frequently, I've had little time online, & my wrists can only type so much, but I'll keep returning, & sharing my progress with you all!
{& I'm praying for you, too!}
& now, I just have one more thing to share this morning with you...
...Please Allow the challenges to challenge you!!!
Don't allow yourself to be overcome by them, but be an overcomer!

John 16:33These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I (Jesus!) have overcome the world.

Romans 12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

1 John 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world: and this is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith.

1 John 5:5 Who is he that overcomes the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?

Revelation 2:7 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcomes will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.

Revelation 2:17 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcomes will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.

Revelation 2:26 And he that overcomes, and keepeth my works unto the end, to him will I give power over the nations...

Revelation 3:5 He that overcomes, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels.

Revelation 3:12 Him that overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name!!!

WOW! Reading all those incredible verses just FILLS my spirit with such fervent desire to be an overcomer, even knowing that, in myself, I can do nothing, but also, that I CAN do ALL things THROUGH CHRIST who gives me strength!!!
Of course, the context is spiritually overcoming, but I believe that in ALL areas of our lives, we are either overcomers, or we are overcome...& that He is there to help ALL who call upon His name, in any & EVERY area of our lives!!!

These verses have been cut'n'pasted from here:
{I love this site for searching out the truths found in God's Word!}
http://www.biblegateway.com/
So have an overcoming, joyful, FABRAWLICIOUS day!!! (YES, I mean YOU!!!)
& please keep me in your prayers...
...& let me know if there's anything I can pray for you about!
{& don'tcha just love how, when I BOLD things, they go PINK??!!??}

From One Challenge to Another!

2008-11-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

Well, the 100 day RawFu challenge is done....it's been a time of learning, growing, changing...
...it's been a time of gentle rawstoration, & a time of perseverance...
I've learned that I must be led by the Holy Spirit, & seek Him for guidance & wisdom in how to do this each & every day! When I do, my healing unfolds....when I don't, it slows, even stagnates, & reverses~
Oh, how I need Him!!!
So what's next, you ask? Well, the next mini challenge begins November 15th, & goes until December 24th...& then, another 100 day challenge begins on January 1st! Will you come join me? http://www.rawfu.com/
Being there has definately contributed to my progress, (even though I didn't reach ALL my goals over the 100 days, I did let go of 29 more pounds, & began to understand how to do raw in the way that works for me, & that is invaluable! There's a wealth of info, insight, support, & fellowship available, especially for those who reach out & dive in with both feet!
I've been trying to remain 100% raw sinse my trip, & do good for most of the day, but am sometimes struggling in the evenings, missing the FULL feeling of sad food, like I just can't eat enough raw food to fill me up, but I am determined to return to 100% NOW, because I miss how I feel when I am! & I NEED to be again, it's affecting my life, my energy, my sleep patterns NOT to be 100%!
The truth is, for social reasons, I wish sometimes that high raw worked for me but it just doesn't...
...so here I go again, pressing on, determined to get & STAY 100% again! & my goal is not just to stay 100% during the challenge, but to accomplish what I set out to do last year, one FULL YEAR STRAIGHT of 100% raw!!! & I will begin counting as soon as I am consistant!
I also intend to do some fasting/detox before the next 100 day challenge, & hopefully some juice feasting, as well~
My next goal is to be under 300lbs before this year ends! I realize that'll mean shedding more weight between now & then than I lost the whole challenge, but that's because I regained, TWICE, from breaking raw, otherwise, I know it WILL go fast, if I increase my movement & STAY 100%!
SO, here I go again!
Come join me!
http://www.rawfu.com/

~Finally back where I was!!!~

2008-10-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm back, finally! {Anybody still checkin' in??}
I'm so sorry I've been sooooooo sporatic lately, but that's gonna change, starting NOW!
Even if I just write a line or two, I'll be posting a new post at least every other day!
Actually, my goal is every day, but I'm gonna give myself a little leeway to get back into the swing of things, after the sewing marathon I've been doing, getting ready to set up my Etsy site to sell my quilted handmade bags & purses! {I have about 20 more almost done, ready to post!}
Here's where I also post them...

http://sewthankful.blogspot.com/

{come check 'em out, I'd love your input! & who knows, maybe you'll fall in love with one, & want to adopt it!}
Anyways, after my 2 week foray back into the cooked world, while at my sister's, & gaining back 14 pounds it took forever to lose (& now lose again!) I'm FINALLY back where I was before I left, at 340 lbs...
...actually, I HAD been down to 333 for about ten minutes, but it had been slowly creeping back up as I stopped moving enough, & was eating too many nuts, & other fats.
( I think I also had to mentally adjust...NOW I feel much more ready to go to the next level, for various reasons...)
One of my dear readers just sent me a very encouraging note about incorporating more physical exercise in my life as a weight loss tool, regardless of what I'm eating, or not eating, just as the Holy Spirit began whispering to me about falling back into my old ways of not moving nearly enough, because of how the weight I'd re-gained slowed me down! (Thank-you for caring & sharing that with me!)
So I've begun to PUSH myself again, getting up more often, moving more, not asking Hannah to do things I should be doing (going up the stairs & outside to get the mail, take out the garbage, etc.) & getting back to my daily exercise session, whether I get outside that day or not!
In fact, I've given myself a final FULL SPEED AHEAD ten day challenge, to complete this RawFu 100 day challenge, to see if I can push myself harder than ever before, & release 10 more pounds before this challenge is done!
So would you like to join me? What can YOU accomplish in ten days???
Please share your goals with me, let's hold each other accountable!!!
Also, I've been sewing so much, my house looks like a tornado hit it in the middle of a hurricane!
For example, here's my sewing area...

{There is a sewing table area behind the couch where my sewing stuff has been but it has NOT been used, except as a dumping ground, & is totally unorganized, & is currently driving me crazy!}
So I've decided that every single day (aside from the regular 1 hour of exercise I'm setting as a goal to fit into EVERY day!) I'm going to put on my favorite music & sing & dance as I do an aerobic cleaning session on my messes at least 3 times a day, until I'm breathless each time! I need to have my house ready for hospitality again, the Lord's been putting it on my heart to open it up for a women's Bible study soon~
So that's what I've been up to....what about you???

~Dealing With the Aftermath of Breaking Raw~

2008-10-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

Believe me when I tell you, folks, that RAW is BEST!!! & once your body has detoxed at least to some degree, going back to cooked/processed/meat & dairy is REALLY not fun AT ALL!
I thought I'd come back home, & jump right back into raw...I got some produce, & have been eating lots of it, but I've been really having cravings, & struggling against a new lackadaisical attitude that is really proving to be a battle to crucify!
When I was there, I made choices, but now, I feel like I'm almost totally in bondage again... ...but I know that I just need to jump back in, or ease back in, or whatever it takes, & get back to 100% raw ASAP!
That's when I feel ALIVE! That's when I can tell I'm healing on a cellular level, & feel better by the day...& I miss that, I miss all the energy that comes with that, the lack of pain & achiness, the much more vivacious emotional state, & however long it takes me to get back to that, I'm headin' there again, & am going to persevere!
So don't give up on me, K? I'm not giving up, I'm pressin' on, one day at a time!
& I'm healing, a little each day, from the damage done from my 2 weeks of eating stuff I knew I shouldn't be...
...in retrospect,there was an illusion of 'freedom' to not be 100% raw for awhile, to not have to plan ahead, or chop, chop, chop, or budget for enough produce to get through, & not eat when & what others were eating, especially when eating out...& it was great to not have to plan & preapre every meal!...
...but the so-called freedom led to bondage to old habits, taste preferences from the past, & POWERFUL cravings that have gripped me again, & it soooo was NOT worth it!
I AM a Raw Foodist, & I know it's what I'm meant to be!!!

~Attempting to Stay Raw While Visiting Carnivorous relatives~

2008-10-12T19:52:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong! I love my family, &, aside from a cold goin' from one of us to the other, & a rock hard bed, (Until I finally dragged a foamie out to put on top) & not enough sleep, it's been a great visit!
But holy canolies, Batman, it's been sooooo hard to stay vegan, let alone raw, when there's meat at almost every meal, & lotsa yummy stuff I used to eat surrounding me, tempting me with smells, sights, when serving it to others, doing the dishes, clearing the table...yummy, good quality stuff I used to love to eat!
So I must confess, my dear readers, that I have not been 100% raw sinse arriving...not even 1 full day...close, on some days, not so close on others...they are planning a big Thanksgiving feast tomorrow, & that's it, it'll be my 'last supper', the 'Famous Final Feast" (rather than Bob Seger's old, "Famous Final Scene") & then I'm running back into the arms of raw, never to wander down this crazy twisting turning road of compromise again!

Would you like to know what not even 2 weeks of cooked food has done to me?

~Not sleeping well at all! Due to all-over FM pain back pretty much fully-force, digestion issues, weird dreams, {& a headache going on 3 days now that definately feels chemical-induced!}

~Carpal tunnel syndrome in BOTH wrists acting up big time, as well as old arthritic pains in my knuckles, joints & especially my hips. {Walking, & climbing the stairs has become very slow & painful, almost like I weigh what I used to again! Not eager to get home & weigh in....have been stretching & doing some walking & stuff, but not near enough!}

~Very low energy, moodier, tired all day, grumpy, reactive, with lots more brain fog!

~ Sinus congestion, fighting off a cold, Hannah got a pretty bad one, whereas when raw, or high raw, she's been able to be around sick kids & not get sick at all!

~Skin is dry, itchy, & my rash on my scalp that was almost healed is back full force!

Constipated (TMI, I know!) & forgetting to drink enough water, seem to have lost my sense of thirst! (Been getting back pains, like my kidney's are being affected again, so am forcing myself to carry it around with me again so I can sip on it thru the day....)

~& here's a fun one! My morning breath AND pits STINK again!!! (not to mention my poops! Did ya notice that when you're raw, ya don't stink up the bathroom!?!?!)

On the other hand, I have been making smoothies & either a big salad, or veggies & dip almost daily, & snacking on fruit as much as possible...it's hard when we're out running around, a few times, I've brought enough food for me, but all the kids are hungry, (my sis has 3, & Hannah) so I end up sharing, then not getting enough calories in, then losing my willpower as the day progresses, then eating cooked, junk, at places where there ARE no healthy choices! & Often, we've gotten home STARVING & just eating the quick meal that's been thrown together!
I've also made a big blender of smoothie numerous times, & often the kids want to drink it all with me, so I'm getting a cup, maybe 2, rather than a blenderful, as I usually do...(Which is wonderful ,I want them to eat more produce! But then I don't get enough, & rather than doing all involved in making another one (especially with my carpal tunnel syndrome acting up!) I just eat something else....but the smoothies help stop cravings, & are so nourishing, it's soooooooo much harder to resist temptation without starting my day with them!
...but with all that's going on, I'm not doing too bad, & I refuse to get all down on myself for allowing myself to go down this carnivorous road again.... rather than made me want the old, unhealthy foods I once lived off of even more, I'm very eager to get back on track, & it's somehow renewed my commitment, & shown me once again the incredible healing power of the body God's given us when fueled with the things he created for food...
...& above all else, it's given me such an appreciation for what eating raw has done for my health! I can't believe how, after just over a week of allowing things in my diet I haven't eaten in many months, so many of my health problems have returned! An excellent object lesson...one I'm eager to never repeat again!
& the biggest thing I've learned is how much easier it is to stay raw when you're not constantly surrounded by cooked food!
I'm sorry if I've seemed glib in acting like it's easy...I mean, once I made up my mind to just do it, I was able to do it, with very little struggling...but I had Hannah's support, & until she went raw with me, if she wanted something non-raw, she made it herself, so I wasn't tempted to break raw...
...here, I'm constantly surrounded by temptation....harder to handle when I'm over-tired, in pain, & not always having access to what I'm used to that has helped me stay raw. Please know I have a LOT more compassion on those committed to raw while surrounded by cooked!!!
Anyways, the moral of the story is RAW IS BEST!!! & I can't wait to get home & get stronger in it, so the next time we visit, I will STAY 100% raw!!! No matter what!!!
When we get back, a few days later, we're heading to Vancouver, & we get to go visit "Gorilla Foods" our first raw cafe! We're only going for 6 or 7 days, so I'm determined to stay 100%! In fact, after tomorrow's dinner I'm back to 100%, as well as some much-needed detox!!!
STAY raw!
It's SOOOOO NOT worth breaking it,
no matter the circumstances!!!!
(I wish I'd come re-read September 12th's Blog entry before coming here!)

~Sorry for dissapearin' on ya!~

2008-10-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy with trying to keep up with the RawFu challenge, as well as getting back to homeschooling, & right now we're on holidays at my sister's & her family's in Alberta...so I've just been goin' non-stop lately, as well as not having as much time online as I used to!
I've been really in awe at the changes in my body that shedding the weight I have so far has made! I went to the wave pool with everyone the other day, & had a blast, & though I felt a little self-conscious in shorts in public for the first time in many years, I decided to just put my focus on how I felt, not how I looked, & especially on how good it felt to get in the water again & swim!
The shorts I brought were waaaaaay too small last time I wore them, tight & too short, but when I put them on they fit GREAT, very close to too big! It was such a pleasant suprise!
I LOVE to swim, & it was so fun to do that with Hannah again, & I decided that when we get home I'm going to look into joining the Y, (or whatever pool has ozone rather than chlorine) so we can begin swimming on a regular basis, it felt so incredible! (After we go to Vancouver for a visit first, from Oct. 20th to the 27th...)
Also, my sis has a little mini gym, & tomorrow I begin working out on a daily basis ( I've had to recover from the 11 hour bus ride, & the 7 hours of swimming the next day first!), using her elyptical trainer, recumbant bike, rebounder, weights & weight bench.
I'm having a lot more strength, endurance, & balance when I move now, especially if I'm getting enough sleep, & staying 100% raw. (I have been for the most part, but was up too late last night, & didn't stay 100% today...or the day before....but I totally regret what little cooked food I had, & have paid the price, & won't be going there again....in fact, I believe the Lord is calling me to fast awhile, & I hope to begin tomorrow or Tuesday. I was considering doing the Master Cleanse, but can't afford to go get all the ingredients...}
...what else is new? Not a whole lot, & I can barely keep my eyes open right now anyways, after dinner, with some cooked food that is churning in my tummy, so that's all for now!
Time to go do some stretching, have a shower, & go to bed early!
Hope you're all doin' RAWsomely!
Keep on progressing towards your best health ever!!!
{One day at a time, right?}

Raw-stored Creativity!~

2008-09-23T20:47:00.000-07:00

I've finished the bags I've been working on that were commissioned, & there's also 2 new ones seeking loving homes, posted on my sewing blog! & they have fruit on 'em, just for us Raw Foodists!
(Posted here: http://sewthankful.blogspot.com/ }
We love 'em both, & wish we could keep 'em, but maybe they're meant for you?!?
I'm so amazed lately that, even with more on my plate than usual, & feeling rather overloaded, I'm getting a lot more accomplished than I used to, the longer I'm raw......my procrastinating ways & my fatigue are far less than before,& my millions of half-done projects are, one by one, actually getting done!
It's not like sewing is a physically taxing thing to do, & I LOVE to create things out of fabric, but for years, I've limped along, with a hundred half-done projects......has anyone else had raw bring their creativity back to life? It's been a wonderful, unexpected side-affect!
Awhile back, I was really panicking about the summer ending, knowing the prices of produce will be going through the roof again, & was worried I wouldn't able to afford to stay raw...& I'd gain back the 60+ pounds I've released, & all my health problems would come racing back, one by one...
...but after praying about it, I calmed down & realized that, even though I'm still on dissability, & still can't work full-time, I can do this now!
Eventually, (hopefully soon!) I'll be off dissability & be fully self-employed, still able to homeschool Hannah, & doing the things I love to do every day, no longer struggling just to keep food in the house...(Sewing, quilting, massage, music, writing, & helping others learn about & live the raw lifestyle!...& whatever else I'm called to do!!!)
So if you're interested in either of the new bags posted on Sew Thankful, or even a different one you'ld like me to make for you, e-mail me at mailto:stazia@telus.net {I take requests! *grin*}
I'm SEW THANKFUL for all who've shared this journey with me, & celebrated my little successes along the way!
& even if you aren't interested in bags, (or whatever else I sew & post) I'd love & appreciate any & all feedback & constructive criticism you might have on them!
Have a wonderfully creative & healthy day!!!

~Biggest Loser New Season Starts Tonight!!!!~

2008-09-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

Much as the show's title offended me, at first (kinda reeked of fat-prejudice, like it's calling all obese people losers...) still, I love the show...& I am now in competition with them!
Forgot to weigh in today, I will again in the morning, & though I know their initial big losses are a lotta water, & I'm past that point, I want to see how much my weight loss increases with more exercise!It's time to turn it up a notch! A BIG notch!!!
So every week, I'll be following along & tracking my progress with theirs, & each week will continue working out while we watch! (On top of my daily workout!)
My first exercise goal is 1 hour minimum a day, breaking a sweat, pushing myself to aim towards doing the whole hour non-stop ASAP...right now I can go longer than before, but still not very long...
...& I've 'hired' Hannah to be my personal trainer...to get me outa bed (instead of lettin' me sleep in cuz I haven't been able to sleep til dawn!) & set up the equipment, & get me goin' on a workout 1st thing (after time with the Lord, & half an hour online...I wake up sloooooow!) EVERY SINGLE DAY, 6 DAYS A WEEK!
& once I'm used to that I'll continue to increase my time......I know that RAW is going to keep the scale moving, but I'm finally accepting that physical exercise is crucial, & the missing component of my health's rawstoration...
...at first, with just raw & a little walking, stretching, & occasional hand-weights, I was feeling better by the day...but lately, I've been sluggish, & craving movement but hurting more as I've slowed down again...& too tired to do much...
...really, I confess part of me was stalling & just waiting for Biggest Loser to start to begin really pushing myself again!!! & I'm soooo glad it's finally time! It felt great to exercise 'for real' again tonight!
They did a 'real age evaluation' on the contestants, & it was shocking! I've read all about that, even done an online "your real age' test, but SEEING the fat around the heart, the lungs, the stomach, & hearing what that does to the body, & how it ages you, was quite MOTIVATING!!!
One guy there (who also has 299+ lbs to shed) is 51, but his biological age was 79, I believe...when I did the online test (a very thorough one!) mine was right around there, too...
(...it was at my highest weight, & part of what got me seeking answers & ready to tackle my health issues again...)...
...the Dr. restricted him to half an hour of exercise a day...his sweet daughter pushed herself hard & got them immunity! & he still lost 28 pounds! That's a LOT of water weight to lose in one week!(& some fat, too, of course!)
I hope he makes it, he needs to be there the most!
Anyways, I just want to challenge all of you to challenge yourself to MOVE MORE!!!!
Even if weight loss isn't a goal of yours, movement is sooooo important!!!
I regret the years I've allowed myself to slow down more & more, & it's time to reverse this!
We were created to MOVE!

~When Temptations Come~

2008-09-12T01:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, first of all, I know God has called me to go 100% raw for my health's restoration. The goal is not perfection with it...I know I'm not to elevate this way of eating higher than it ought to be, or give it more attention or focus or time than it needs...but if He has called me to it, I know He has also provided (& will provide) all I need to see this through....
...so when I am tempted to break raw, I have a choice to make...it doesn't control me, I have free will, & I can just allow my cravings, my flesh-nature, my appetites to dictate what I do, or I can allow God's Spirit in me to lead, guide, strengthen & help me...
...tonight, finally having my period again (raw is healing my PCOS!), cravings for pizza & wings hit me like a ton of bricks...
{...not that I even have money to order, but I confess I was tempted to take some from the phone bill money...}
...but I just kinda observed myself, as I turned my focus towards ordering, & eating, & watched where my thoughts went...
....& then when I turned to God for guidance & help, I also watched my thoughts....& I realized something really interesting...
...I saw that the strength of the 'craving' directly correlated to where I allowed my thought to focus...
...& that the only time the craving felt overwhelming was when I totally shut out thoughts of God, & put them on what my flesh wanted...
...so simple...so clear....
...& the moment I turned to Him, He carried me through to the other side.

Something tells me that the struggle has ended. If I choose to eat something not raw, it will now be a conscious choice, not a yeilding to overwhelming cravings I feel can't be handled or resisted.
I know that there may be occasions where I'll be led, as the Bible says, to"Eat what's put before me with thanksgiving", (when it's not appropriate to say no...) or when non-raw is all that's available...
....but in the meantime, even when I'm not as excited about raw, even when I have moments of being tired of it, or bored with it, or old cravings get triggered again, I will just remember this night, & pray for help & strength, & allow Him to help me get & keep my focus back where it belongs, so I can walk on in obedience.

He'd never have asked me to do it if He wasn't able to see me through it!

My Sister's Keeper....

2008-09-06T04:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an absalutely wonderfully amazing day!!!
First, got woken to the doorbell early this morning, after not even 5 hours sleep, it was my friend, bringing me a big watermelon, a HUGE cauliflower, & a lovely head of lettuce! (The kind that has HUGE leaves to use the leaves as wraps!) Soooo sweet!
{She went to a Farmer's Market & thought of my raw journey.}
I had a tiny nap a few hours later, then we went out to do running around...I had a big piece of glass in my foot, which began throbbing & bleeding as the day progressed...but still, it was such a sweet day, it only barely affected me...(Hannah helped me dig it out after my bath tonight...it was actually HUGE!)
I was so blessed at the food bank, too...last week I asked if I could just go through the monthly hamper while there & give back the things we're no longer eating, & was told that if I call ahead, they could prepare a healthier & ORGANIC hamper!!! (If only I'd known ages ago!) They didn't get my message in time this morning, so next time I go, that's what we'll be getting, but this time, Hannah resisted all the treats & junk food & donuts laid out everywhere! there was a little free yard sale goin' on, & I got a wonderful veggie'n'dip tray! (Almost got one from Avon for 30$, but knew my $ is better spent on produce...not to mention bills!) & a sweet cup to drink my green smoothies from.
We popped in to a little second hand store, & I found some really wonderful things for the kitchen I needed, (strainers, veggie & dip tray with a cover for taking & sharing food!) as well as some +sized clothes for me for the next sizes down that I just LOVED! Normally there's never anything my size, or if there is, it just ain't me!)
Then we went to the health food store, where I was able to get a few things I was totally out of, (& 3 georgous cantalopes for $1.49 each!) & even found my favorite smoothie on sale half price! (No time to make one this morning!) I spent a little more than I should, but am determined to sew & sell more bags etc. soon, so got it in faith our needs'll be met...
As we were headed to Superstore, we saw the Additionelle store (clothing for +sized women) & Hannah & I both thought at once about the gift card I'd just been sent for $100 to spend on clothes, after confessing at RawFu that it's part of why I haven't been going out much, or socializing {& the few things I have been wearing for years are getting too big on me...)
(SUCH an incredibly thoughtful gift from a not-so-secret RawFu pal!) so I got dropped off there while everyone else went for school supplies...
...& there was a 70% off sale!!! {I spent $99.72 cents & it would've come to $231.02!!!} I got some beautiful things, & even one georgous totally-me goal dress!!! I'll be posting pics later (finally have something nice to wear for my before shots I STILL haven't taken!) & am so excited to have something different to wear for church tomorrow! (They've seen me in the same 2 shirts for years now...)
...& I realized that, aside from having a very difficult time finding anything that fit (I'd outgrown the biggest size at Additionelle...*blush*...) I haven't put $ aside to get (or even make) clothes for myself for years cuz I was feeling like, "Why bother, nothing looks good on me anyways..." but yesterday, as I was shopping, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me the verses about not worrying about what we'll eat or wear, "God knows you have need of those things, but seek first the Kingdom of God, & ALL these things shall be added unto you..."
& I realized God was blessing me for putting aside my fears & concerns & just getting my focus where it belongs! (I actually used to worry about what I'd wear when I lose weight, & it hindered me from pursuing it wholeheartedly, as well as worry about how I can afford all the produce etc. it takes to do this!) So it was actually a SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE to go shopping!
& the best part of the day? When I was going through checkout a lady was there that I'd spoken to earlier in the store, & she just looked so sad & unhealthy, I felt soooooo led to bring up raw with her...
I told her of what it's done for me, & that this little shopping spree was because I'd lost almost 60 pounds & had nothing to wear...& she confessed she'd lost 35 but it had taken forever, but her friend's been telling her about green smoothies, & raw, but she was kinda afraid of it, so I got to encourage her to give it a chance, & shared some of it's benefits...she promised she'd try it, & left the store looking like a different woman...a woman with HOPE!
She called back, as she was leaving, "You're my inspiration!" & I just about started bawling right there at the checkout!! But the woman behind the till gave me the funniest look so I just smiled & saved the tears for later...
Afterwards it hit me that I don't need to wait until I reach my goal to finish writing the flyer with the best raw sites & testimonies, & my testimony, & contact info! I can do it NOW, & just update it as the pounds continue coming off, & my health continues increasing! I want to help other women shed their fat suits & re-gain their health, & I know now that anyone can do this if they understand it & want it enough!
I CAN be open about it NOW, {even though I'm still morbidly obese} whenever I'm led, {like I was today}, & I don't have to concern myself with what people might think...I know I'm a work in progress & God isn't done with me yet, & I want to always live my life to please Him, not others...I'm that way with pretty much everything else in my life, it's time to be concerning my weight & health too!
I remember, during the almost 7 years I was a new ager, reading & being taught I must put SELF above all others...please myself first...take care of me..."lookin' out for number 1"
...the difference now, knowing we're called to put God (& pleasing Him, not our self!) first, is like night & day....
...& we're told in the Bible that we ARE to put other's needs ahead of our own....{but I finally know never ahead of God, & His will...}
Even after 20 years of walking with Him, still, every day, He opens my eyes & heart more...every day, He heals something else in me that was lingering, waiting for His loving touch & healing light of truth....we ARE our brothers (& sisters!) keeper...
...so I'm going to keep praying for the woman I met in the store, & her friend that's wanting to help her heal...will you join me?

~Healed for a Purpose~

2008-09-05T02:37:00.000-07:00

When God healed me, instantly (well, overnight) from the inflammatory breast cancer I was diagnosed with in Nov. 2007, I was in so awe that He would choose me to pour out such an amazing miracle of healing on...I knew I'd done nothing to deserve it...I knew it was His GRACE (unmerited favor) & mercy towards me...
It was a major wake-up call to also return to eating only whole fresh REAL raw foods, (food in it's healthiest form!) though it took me a few months to fully surrender.
I knew He was showing me that He healed the cancer miraculously (I believe because it was too aggresive/advanced for raw/juicing/herbs to heal it), but if I want to be free from the obesity, the FM, the MS, & all the other things I've had going on, I needed to finally & completely & CONSISTANTLY obey Him concerning what I put in my body for fuel....& what NOT to!
There are things I've sought to understand sinse I was healed....one is when I meet or know about another woman who's had breast cancer & not been healed...especially other believers, but anyone, really...
I almost feel guilty, or like maybe they think that I think God favors me more than them, because I was healed by prayer (or, more accurately, by His power!) & they weren't....
I know that's not the truth, because I know the Bible's clear that God does not play favorites...
...yet it also says "Be it unto you according to your faith..."
& "You have not, because you ask not..."
But when I knew I had such a rare, agressive type of breast cancer (IBC) & clearly could have died, & yet had no real fear of that as I faced it, knowing I'll be with my savior whenever He chooses to bring me home (much as I want to stay & raise Hannah!) He chose to intervene...
...yet other woman have died from it who didn't yet know Him!
If I could've traded places so they would've had more time to meet Him, I would've in a moment!
It's such a mystery to me......one I'm sure I'll never understand this side of eternity...
Sinse the day I gave Him my life, I've had such a deep faith for miracles, simply because He said He's the same yesterday, today & FOREVER...
...& I've always believed it, & taken Him at His Word...
...& over the last 20 years of walking with Him, I've experienced miracle after miracle...some small, some monumentous, all soooo life-changing, helping me to be conformed to His image, as I learn to die to self daily, & allow Him to live His life through me.
Sometimes I feel like the modern-day female equivalent to Job, that the enemy has been allowed to bring repeated disasters & destruction, because he came before God & said, {as He did about Job} "She only serves you because you bless her!"
When the trials come, it takes everything I have in me to keep crying out, as Job did, "Yet though He slay me, I will trust Him!"
Knowing my life is in His hands, & that He's intervened when I could've (& would've, without His intervention!) died numerous times, how can I do anything but lay control of my own life down, & allow Him to do what He wills with me, in me, through me...?
I know He NEVER allows us to go through more than He promised to see us through!
That's a part of the reason why I want so much for others to come to saving faith in Him, because we're not meant to journey though this fallen world without His help, without resting under the shadow of His wings, enfolded in His arms, sheilded by His Father's heart that longs to pour out healing in EVERY area of our lives, if we only ask!!!
& I'm finally realizing that healing & deliverance from self is deeper & even more life-changing than a physical miracle...not that I'm where I need to be, spiritually, not that I live the crucified life 24/7....far from it....but I know that's where I'm continually drawn, & always headed...
...I know there's no other way but to die daily.
So another day has been spent...& I must ask myself if I spent it for Him, glorifying Him in my body, as we're told to, & glorifying Him in my life, shining the light He's given me, led by His Spirit in all I do...
....off to pray about the answers...
Here's the song God's been singing into my spirit all day...hope it blesses you, too...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25wG9C0s1kA

~I'm too busy!!!~

2008-09-01T17:04:00.000-07:00

I'm soooo sorry, dear readers, for not being more regular lately! (I just need more fiber!!! Kidding! I mean regular with posting, silly!)

Between back-to-(home)school preparations, keeping up with everyone & everything at the RawFu 100 day 100% raw challenge I'm doing, trying to get my house in order (I do my spring cleaning in the fall, too...don't ask!) & all the healing, emotional detox, back pain, & TRYING to keep exercising regularily, (not to mention not getting enough sleep & being on a MAJOR night schedule again...Hannah, too!) as well as the long-weekend-sewing-marathon I've been on, I don't know whether I'm comin' or goin' some days! But I'm still here!!! & still 100% raw!!!

So how am I doing, overall? (I miss wearing overalls! Soon!!!) Well, my weight loss seems to be slowing down a little, & I'm definately feeling the need to move more...but I'm going thru something I've experienced before, as the weight is coming off, it seems to be shifting things in the way I hold/carry myself, & my back is hurting constantly, & pretty intensely...I need to up the amount I'm stretching, & do more things that strengthen it, & my abs! (& I need a massage...

& I have a table...anyone wanna volunteer? We can exchange!)

But I had a wee bit of a shock yesterday...I asked my friend Shannon to find any pics she had of me & send them to me...(I deleted every picture that really showed my weight!) & she sent some from when we first met, over 2 years ago, close to my highest weight, when I first went raw... & when I saw them, I was actually shocked! {I even took my measurements the other day, & with being 56 pounds down now, I'd actually lost 2 inches in my NECK! Bizzarre & sooooooooo suprising!!!

You know how you see yourself in the mirror every day, & think maybe there's a few little changes, but it's hard to see? I thought cuz no-one's commented or noticed (except that I can stand longer & walk more) there's really little difference...

So here's the pics...let me know if you see a difference....

Over 2 years ago, just starting with & learning about raw, through Raw Food Boot Camp!

56 pounds down, taken recently...

Ok, here's the one I'm almost too embarrassed to post...*blush*...same day, 2 years ago, not hiding it as well....(I used to be photogenic, haven't really been for years....which is why I deleted most of the pics I had of me!)

....& again, taken a few nights ago...

*Sigh* here's another one I almost deleted...(please never mind the clutter!)

Someone on RawFu said my smile actually reaches my eyes now! What a wonderful compliment!

Ok, that's all for now...I'm workin' up the courage to take & post full-body pics! & even a video! be patient with me, God ain't finished with me yet! {& neither is RAW!}

Stay Raw, it does a body good!!!

~ I FINALLY got on the treadmill!!! ~

2008-08-25T01:18:00.000-07:00

My upstairs neighbour said I could use the treadmill she has in the laundry room we share...I kept intending to use it...but somehow was intimidated by it...it seemed to mock me every time I did laundry..."Ha ha, I KNOW you're scared of me! And you're avoiding me! Ha ha!"

So I got Hannah to do the laundry...

...but today, something changed. I faced my fears, found my runners, & JUST DID IT! & my body actually LOVED IT!!! I could only do 5 minutes at a time, then take a break & catch my breath & stretch...then 5 more...then 11 minutes in a row! All together I did 21 minutes today!!! I even broke a sweat! (C'mon, there was an incline!!!) It felt wonderful!

Then a sweet friend at RawFu posted a challenge to workout a minimum of 20 minutes, starting tomorrow {August 25th} for 7 days! SO...YES! I signed up!!! Perfect timing, & just what I needed to keep me going, & make it part of my daily routine! (Cuz only nuns have habits!)

The truth is, I can feel that I NEED to start moving more...I used to get up every half hour while I was on the computer & go do some dishes, stretching, tidying up...but suddenly, awhile back, that just wasn't often enough anymore...so I do it every 15 minutes now...

...& I keep having dreams of swimming, hiking, riding a bike! WALKING!!! & as the weight is coming off, I want to keep toning up (which seems to be happening naturally...so different with raw food than losing weight other ways!), I have been stretching daily, & using light handweights every other day for 10 or 15 minutes, but I needed more!

After walking to my dentist's & back a few days ago, & then shopping the next day & being on my feet waaaay longer than the last time I went, I realized the weight I've shed has really made a difference now...even though no-one can tell yet!

After the last 4 days of the scale not moving, I was 3 pounds down this morning...& am now 49 down from my highest weight!!! ( I was 12 lbs down from that when I came back to raw this time, on June 19th, transitioning for awhile, & now here I am, 100% raw for at least a month & a half!)

So it's time to pick up the pace! I'm sore from my treadmill adventure, but ready for more!!!

Hope you're doing wonderful, growing, changing, learning every day!

(& Hi, Leah! Your bag will be in the mail Wednesday, when I get to the post office! Sorry for the delay!!!)

& I ain't on the treadmill thinkin' of cake, either! (Unless it's raw!)

~I Have My Own Personal Raw Chef!~

2008-08-22T23:59:00.000-07:00

(Another summary from some postings today at Raw Fu, with some additional notes,cuz it's late again, no time to write a new post, but I wanted to update y'all!)

Oh, my goodness, my sweet daughter has definately found her calling!!!The moment I got outa bed, I was shooed out of the kitchen & told not to peek!

On went the whirring of what sounded like every machine in the kitchen ("Was that the juicer?? But it's BROKEN!!! I think that was the food processor, but it sounds funny! Add water!!!"), & the next thing you know, I'm being brought a bowl of what looked kinda like white soup...???

She pronounced, "It's called, 'Bananafana' in the **recipe book, but I've changed the recipe, & I call it cream-of-banana-not-wheat-with-maggot-eggs!!!" (See my last post, on how she decided to definately go 100% raw with me to understand THAT!)

(**"The Raw Gourmet" is the book, borrowed from the library & possibly never returned! Kidding! But she's beggin' for her own copy! So I gave her a package of recipe cards & a pen! Lol!)

And YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY THIS!!!!!

So here's her version...

"Cashew of Banana"

(The official name! You didn't really think we'd use the other one, did you???)

~2 bananas (they call for one, but next time we're going to use 4!, & a little less nuts, so I can go lighter on the nuts, all her recipes have stopped the scale from goin' down the last few days!!!)

~ Put in food processor (or blender) with a bit more than half a cup of water (which was a tiny bit too much...they called for 1/4...it was kinda like soup, which was also nice...)

~ half a cup of soaked-overnight cashewsblend till creamy (or leave a little bumpy, makes it more like cereal!) She found it tasted totally different after sitting for half an hour {I had to wait, was doing oil pulling} & said it was MUCH better after it sat awhile...I liked it better out of the fridge, she said it was way better room temp! (So to each their own!)

Oh, it could be made thicker, then put banana chunks in it! (Or other fruit!) & it would be delish with cinnamon, or nutmeg! (& sorry, it was so yummy I forgot to take pics, was too busy enjoying it!)

All I know is, one medium bowl was the perfect amount, it was soooo yummy & FILLING! It really is similar to cream of wheat, or another oatmeal-type of breakfast!

Now onto the challenge she designed for me this week! It was very interesting indeed!

First, the picture...

She came out with this tray of a bunch of cups (MORE dishes to wash was my first thought! Lol!) fulla carrot juice...& I had to do taste-tests, to see what each carrot juice had in it along with the carrots...I got 3 guesses per cup!

~The first mix was carrot-lemon (SOUR! Too much lemon! I'm awake NOW! Got that in 2 guesses, thought it was grapefruit!)

~Then carrot-orange (WOW! Never had that combo before, soooo good! Got it first guess!)

~Then carrot-spinich (Yum, got it in 3, thought it was lettuce, then parsely...she didn't put much in, & I was still tasting citrus! Shoulda rinsed between sips to cleanse my palate!)

~Then carrot-apple, (my old favorite, so I got it in one guess!)

~Then straight carrot! (Got that in one guess! She was so suprised!)

It was soooooo fun! The prize was more beads for the necklace she's gonna make me when I finish the 100 day challenge!

AND the AMAZING thing was, she just put the juicer together & used it, not knowing it's been making grinding/weird noises, & I was goona throw it out! But it WORKED for her!

Either a miracle healing for kitchen appliances occurred, or I was assembling it wrong!

(Which would amaze me, cuz I've used it for years!)

But UGH, she just now called from the kitchen, "Um, mom, we need a new juicer, the cord's been chewed thru sinse our old place when we had that mouse, & now the wires are showing!"

{Ok, the real miracle was she didn't get electrocuted!!!!}

Now she's in there chopping something up for lunch, & I'm STILL not allowed in the kitchen!

She DID tell me dinner was onion rings, & tortalini (her own invented recipe...) & RAW pancakes tomorrow!

I'm gonna GAIN weight if this keeps up!!!!

No more mono meals for me for awhile, I guess...don't wanna discourage her! Haha!

(& she promised to keep the nuts in her inventions down to a dull roar...)

I'm getting hungry!!!

Wonder what's for lunch??

Who needs a Raw Cafe to get spend $ I don't have???!!!

(I confess, every time I hear of visits to them, I get a twang of jealousy!)

Oh my! She just came out with our lunch, she calls it "Purple delight" a cole-slaw type of salad with the most AMAZING flavors!!! No...time...to write....gotta go eat!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Even SHE'S amazed at how good this is!!!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{Later}

OK, oh my goodness, you guys, please don't be jealous, but you would not believe the dinner I just had!

Yellow zucchini noodles (she discovered the cheeze slicer I just got at the dollar store) with an amazing sauce she invented (I only had to help a bit when she put in sunflower seeds to thicken it when the blended tomatoes were runny, before she'd added spices, garlic, onions, etc.)

I gotta confess, I never thought I'd like zucchini noodles, but WOW! So filling! So different than I expected! Really satisfying, something so different about it prepared this way, not sure what it is, just know I was very glad when she couldn't finish hers & I got to!!!

The only thing is, we're going thru all the produce sooo fast! (she just used 4 tomatoes for the sauce, & they were supposed to be for salads all week!)

I just gotta keep trusting that God'll provide...hopin' & prayin' now that someone'll share zucchini with me from the abundance of their garden!{Anyone know how long it'll keep in the coldroom?} & I gotta get sewing some more music bags to post on my site to sell!

(As soon as I finish & get sent the ones already purchased!)

I honestly didn't think I was bored with salads & smoothies, but after living on them for almost 2 months, well let's just say, much as I've enjoyed them, there's a party goin' on in my mouth NOW, & my tastebuds are the hosts!

Ok, so here's a picture of tonight's dinner, with little chopped up mushrooms on top! Sorry there's none left!!! (& it tasted waaaaay better than it looks! Honest! Can't wait to make more as soon as we get another big zucchini! There's enough sauce left for another meal!)

~Anastazia~

~Maggots Made Hannah Go Raw!!!~

2008-08-19T00:42:00.001-07:00

(This is my blog post today from RawFu, just had to share it here with you, with a few new notes at the bottom...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, whatta day we've had! Suddenly, Hannah's totally on board & is going 100% with me!!! Thanks to MAGGOTS!!!
I made her some tapioca days ago, & a bunch never got eaten & was forgotten in a pot on the ledge, & today, I asked her to dump it so I could wash it...& it was crawling with LIVE maggots!...
...which led to a discussion about grains, & the eggs on them (they had to come from somewhere, right?)
...she'd already gone vegetarian, now she's DONE with grains (especially the processed stuff! She wants to try wheat berries sprouted & made into dehydrated bread, but says she'll wash them first!)
Then we discussed milk, (which she loves) & the amount of pus in it, & suddenly, she just said, "That's it, I'm going raw with you!"
...& THEN, she got all excited, & took over the kitchen!!!
She decided to make a BUNCH of recipes, so first, we made avacado chocolate pudding, then Bunny's fried okra recipe using zucchini, (YUM!) (just grind sunflower & flax seeds in coffee grinder & add spices (I added a Mrs. Dash veggie mix, cumin, salt & peeper would work, whatever!) & then put chopped zucchini {cubes} into a bowl, drizzle flax (or whatever) oil over it, then pour the dry stuff on top, mix together, put in dehydrator awhile (1-3 hours, depending on th temperature...I had it too low, we ate them not quite done ,but the were still sooo good, & SOOO filling!! & are yummier the longer they dehydrate!) then she just had to make the sunflower cheese! (Sunflower seeds ground in coffee grinder, lemon, garlic, bit of salt, I think, then process in food processor...blender would work, too...Oh, SO good!)
...then when I was in on the computer, she secretly invented a banana pudding, so I told her about banana milk, & we're going to make it for breakfast, & she has me writing out recipes for the flax bread, some cheesecake, & the eggnog smoothie so she can make them herself tomorrow if I sleep in!
Somethin' tells me the groceries are gonna be dissapearing fast!!!She even let me bag up all the non-raw stuff she's been eating, to give to our friends!
WOW. I'm in awe at how God answers prayer....even using the lowly maggot to do so!
We're going to plan the recipes we want to try, she's got us a shopping list going, & she's soooo excited! She told me, now that she's tried these recipes tonight, she can totally understand now how it's possible (she was marvelling that I've been living on smoothies & salad & fruit for snacks, thought that was the only way to do this, & said she KNEW she could never do THAT...)
The zucchini was awesome! (Thanks, Bunny, even though it wasn't okra!) It was suprisingly VERY filling! We were soooo hungry we couldn't wait (took longer than I expected, but I don't think I had it turned up enough...) & even barely dehydrated & still quite soft (after 2 hours) it was quite yummilicious!!! The spices were the key, & I can't wait to try new kinds! {Oh, I bet cumin would go incredibly well with it, gotta get some!}
Anyways, just had to share how wonderful today was, maggots & all!
Woulda taken pics, but it's been too hot all day to put many clothes on! Lol!
(Besides, we flushed the maggots! Lol!)
Hannah's soooo excited now, she can't sleep, & keeps inventing recipes, bringing things out, telling me to close my eyes & open my mouth & try them! So far now she's made banana pudding, chocolate covered strawberries, & has a secret breakfast almost totally ready in the fridge waiting for us to get up!
I'm gonna GAIN weight, at this rate!!! (have explained I can't eat nuts daily!)
I think she's found her calling, she LOVES to prepare food, & has missed cooking for me sinse I went raw, & is so excited about using whole, live foods...
...not to mention all the energy it's giving her! She's in cleaning her room at 12:55 am!!! Hyper on all the raw energy!!! Reminds me of me the first week!!!
(She's been having more & more raw each day, & noticed today when she ate rice today it felt different, heavy, & slowed her down a lot!)
Couldn't get her to sleep right now if I drugged her!!! Lol!
{But I better go try!}

~Day 17 at Raw Fu on the 100 day challenge~

2008-08-17T14:28:00.000-07:00

Hi! I'm back! Been a little distracted with all the activity at RawFu, & have been spending too much time online, so trying to cut back! & sewing more again...didn't mean to neglect my blog, though!
So it's day 17, wish I'd been 100% the whole time, have had a few days of allowing myself a little cooked food, fairly healthy stuff, but it instantly stopped my weight loss, & I even gained back 6 pounds overnight the first time...& since breaking it, it triggered daily temptations again with everything I prepare for Hannah...
...so I was thinking yesterday that I would allow myself just a few specific cooked things, but today, I feel like the evidence has proven to me that 100% works for me if I stick with it! My one main reason I've been wanting to incorporate some other foods has been hair loss with 100%, my hair has thinned soooo much (over the last few years, not just with raw), {though it is starting to feel healthier!}
So I'm going to stay 100% for now & go do some research on what foods prevent hair loss, & help with re-growth, & then decide what to do...if I can find enough raw foods that help (like the selenium in brazil nuts, though I can never seem to find Brazil nuts, let alone RAW ones!) then I'll stay 100%, if the only other ones I can find are cooked, then I'll consider adding those in moderation...
...if anyone has any info/help on this please share!!!
I'm in a lot of pain today, still, sore, with knots under my shoulders, & I can't even turn my head, or lift anything...every time I increase my exercise, even just a little bit, I can hardly move for days...I''m soooo tired of FM, & am praying that Raw totally frees me from it!!!
Hope you're all doing well, & that you're having a wonderful summer! It's been around 39 degrees here for days, & many days this summer! I LOVE my cool basement suite!!!
I made a video yesterday, but didn't post it (yet?) cuz I barely recognized myself! It was bizarre, actually...I see now I don't see myself as I really am...my weight, & the stress of my health problems have changes me, so much...I think I'll need to videotape myself numerous times before my perceptions catch up with reality!
One day, I'll post a bunch at once, of my progress & changes, & by then I'll look more like me again, hopefully...

~The Raw Food Pyramid~

2008-08-08T03:47:00.001-07:00

I found this at RawFu on someone's blog, & just had to pass it along! Enjoy! http://www.watershed.net/RawFoodPoster.aspx
I want to order this poster one day!

~Daily Changing~

2008-08-08T01:18:00.000-07:00

As my journey with raw progresses, the changes are quite amazing to me...on every level...below is my blog post from RawFu today (followed by some new comments)...
I realise that some reading my blog here are also there, & may have read it already, but I'm led to share it here as well...so here ya go...(again?)
I started with this picture, cuz this is how I feel today...

It's soooo weird, I feel lighter, & AM lighter, but now suddenly I'm so AWARE of this excess weight I've been carrying so long!!! Almost like I'm unthawing or something, & was just numb to it, trying to press on day by day, not really facing how HARD it's been (physically!) to carry it all!!!
I was carrying at least 250 more pounds than my body is meant to!!!(Not quite so much now, but still over 200!!!)
That's a grown man & a toddler combined!!! I couldn't piggyback them around all day, how on earth have I continued to carry it all??? I have no clue! (Aren't our bodies surprisingly resilient?)
Amazingly enough, I don't even have joint problems...but that's likely cuz I'm not on my feet much!
So today, I can suddenly FEEL what I've done to myself in a way I never really have before!!! How weird is THAT? But I guess it's part of this healing journey...
...it reminds of that dumb joke Rosanne Barr used to tell in her early days as a stand-up comedian...
"I lost 200 pounds of ugly fat....I got a divorce!"
Ok, sad, but a little funny, c'mon...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, that was my day...
...& now, I'm thinking about ALL it's taken to finally come to the place of being ready to do this no matter what, & to face down every obstacle!
I spent some time re-reading this blog, & am amazed, actually, that I haven't given up, for how looooong it's taken me to finally start losing weight again...not to mention getting back to raw!
I was actually thinking of deleting all but the last month & a half or so, but just in case there's anything here that can help anyone, I'll leave it up for those who, like me, have taken time to come to the place of being truly ready to surrender to the power of raw!
The path has been looooong & windy, but since the first time I learned of the healing power in eating raw, whole organic foods, I KNEW it was exactly what I needed!
It's hard to change a lifetime of eating habits & all that accompanies that, but, "by George, I think I've got it!"
Have a wonderful day...week...rest of the month....year!!!
"One day at a time, sweet Jesus! That's all I'm asking of you!!!"

Thinking about the next 94 days...

2008-08-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

Howdy!
I don't know what it is that's different about doing this 100 day challenge, compared to the 30 day ones I've been attempting to complete 100% raw at RFT...I just know it feels very different, & so much EASIER! Logically, that doesn't even make sense, but somehow, it's still true...
...I had wanted, at the beginning of the year, to commit to 1 full year at 100% raw...but that was too big of a bite to chew all at once...30 days just wasn't enough, considering how far I have to go.
I think it just felt like even if I succeeded, I'd barely make a dent in all my health & weight issues.
Something about 100 days is just right for me...it's not a WHOLE YEAR, but it's long enough that, by the end of it, there will definately be significant differences in my health, weight, lifestyle, habits & everything else doing this affects!
It's been amazing so far to share this journey with 1000+ others at RawFu...we're all at various places along the way, but many, like me, are beginners who've been learning about raw for awhile, but have had a hard time consistantly applying what we've learned...& together, we're breaking through, helping each other, learning together, & encouraging one another...that's what I've been praying for, & am so glad to have found!
Today, my pain levels are thru the roof, due to poor (& not enough!) sleep! I kept waking up itching, ITCHING, ITCHING!!!
So I'm just pacing myself, finally got my appetite back (it completely leaves when I'm tired) & am having a smoothie, & I'm about to make a salad....it's 37 degrees here today, & too hot for me to go outside!!! But I will before the sun sets, when it cools off a bit, & get my Vitamin D for the day (20 minutes minimum, 3 x's a week, on as much skin as possible, not just washed (did you know if you've recently washed your natural oils away you don't absorb the vitamin D???)
I'm pressing on, one day at a time...I just want to be free to serve God & others daily without my health problems always interfering...I haven't even made it to church in many weeks...*sigh*...so if 100 days is what it takes to move me through the struggle to the other side, then 100 days is what it's goona be...well, 94 more! & then, we'll see...
...there'll be a short challenge over the holidays, which I may do high raw, (if that ain't workin' for me by then, & I can't keep the cooked to a minumum, then I'll do it 100% raw again...) & then another 100 day one beginning on January 1st...which I plan on committing to doing 100% raw again!
But I know, I know, I gotta take it one 100 days at a time!!!

~Weigh-in day! WOOHOO!!!~

2008-08-05T16:57:00.000-07:00

I decided (with the RawFu folks!) that Tuesdays should be weigh-in day, cuz "The Biggest Loser" is starting again in September, & will be on on Tuesdays (the theme this season is Families!!) so today, I weighed in...are ya ready for this??? I'm FINALLY UNDER what I got down to when I first discovered raw (& did the Raw Food Boot Camp for 45 days & lost 42 pounds)!!! For some reason that it really impacting me!! Some part of me was thinking I NEEDED something so rigidly structured to actually succeed at this, but now I've proven to myself I DON'T, & it gives me a lot of strength & determination to press on!!!
Ok, Drumroll, please....
~Highest weight: 398 lbs
~Started transitioning back towards 100% raw June 19th, 2008:386 lbs (12 down)
~Back to 100% raw, July 3rd: 375 lbs (23 down)
~Started Raw Fu 100% for 100 days challenge August 1st: 366 (32 down)
~First Tuesday weigh in August 5th: 355 lbs!!! (43 down from my highest weight!)
~Next Tuesday weigh-in goal: 345! (Or less!!!)
Hannah did an amazing "Biggest Loser" type of challenge for me this morning...if she'd done it BEFORE my weigh-in, I don't know that I woulda passed! Lol!
But I was so excited, it got her all excited for me, & she wrote a little note, pretended to find it in the mailbox from my secret Raw Fu pal, & then brought in two plates I had to choose between...
...the prize being, if I chose the right plate, all my food for today would be COOKED for me! (She meant UNcooked, of course! Haha!)
So here's what I had to choose between:

Green drink, coconut oil (notice the heart shape? Cuz it's good for the heart, & cuz she loves me!) & incredible yummy macadamia nut butter (that I'm 99.9% sure is raw, waiting to find out!), or THESE horrible temptations I USED to eat! GULP! & that HEALTH FOOD STORE BRAND of pop has 43 grams of sugar!!! (Oh, but it's organic CANE sugar! AND Caramel, which has been proven to be carcinogenic!!! No more wasting $ on THAT! Which leaves more $ for produce!)

Yes, OF COURSE I chose the HEALTHY plate (but I had to water down the drink a little, though! GAK!) & my prize has already begun, she brought me a cantalope, & is going to add to the smoothie I have in the fridge soon!
I ALMOST gave in to temptation & drank some of the pop yesterday, but she wouldn't let me! & I'd been given the chocolate bars & forgotten I had them & the cookies stuffed in a bag thrown in a corner of my room!
Oh, yea, the bonus challenge was I had to open the chocolate bars, smell 'em, break 'em up, & throw 'em in the garbage without one nibble!!! & I did it!!! That won me an extra bead for the necklace she's going to make me, I earn a bead with each weigh-in (if the scale's down, of course!) & by the time I reach my goal, I'll have enough for a pretty necklace~
(she began that when I began RawFoodBootCamp, & just started again today...cuz she sees now I REALLY AM doing this!!!)
Off to go get some dishes done, then FINALLY check out my upstairs neighbour's treadmill she gave me access to MONTHS ago that I've barely tried!!!
Then, outside for some sunshine!
I hope you're having a really wonderful day, like I am!
Victory comes with consistant perseverance!!!
C'mon, you KNOW RAW works!
Don't give up, K?
I'm rootin' for ya!!!

~The Yummiest dessert EVER!!!~

2008-08-03T04:35:00.000-07:00

After a raspberry smoothie today for brunch, veggies & guaca-salsa dip for dinner, & some pumpkin seeds, I invented an amazing dessert tonight! (& now can't sleep cuz of the cocoa in it!)
First, I got my leftover yummy raw fudge with walnuts out of the fridge, cut it into little chunks, & cuz I didn't have enough agave when I made it (ran out, don't know when I can afford to get more! Wah!) I smothered it in raspberries, which I finally got out again today to pick!
Oh, my good gracious, you would not believe how incredibly delish it was!!! Wish I could share it with you all!!!
Well, day two of the 100 day challenge is done, & I'm still raw! Tired, but feelin' good so far, little detox, nothin' I can't handle!
I feel bad, I missed checking in for the last day of the 30 day challenge at RawFoodTalk, I got so involved at RawFu! It's really been helping me focus on all the reasons I'm doing this, & I've met some incredibly wonderful people there....& am learning LOTS!
I want to get going on doing videos of this journey! I've been so blessed by the ones I've watched there! Just haven't found time to get going on 'em yet! (except some rough drafts! lol!)
Still not sleeping great, only a few hours most nights lately, though had a loooong sleep last night....until 1 in the afternoon! So here it is, almost 5 am, wide awake again...really wanted to make it to church tomorrow, but doesn't look too likely...*sigh*...
...anyways, the scale had some good news, after my 'last supper' the night before the challenge began, & I went back up to 366...today I was down to 362 again today...no more yo-yoing!!!
(I never yo-yo'ed in my life until raw...but I'm DONE!
"From now on, numbers on the scale, yer goin' DOWN!!!"
Here's a picture of my dessert! Try it!! You'll love it!!!

~RAW EMOTION~

2008-08-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

~Rawstoration~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Father, You've been a wonderful provider
for my body's every true need,
but I turned to food's poor imitations
in my foolish gluttony & greed,
craving what fed my flesh nature
rather than what my body needed & preferred~
...tempted, I yielded, till almost destroyed,
the lines were all crossed, & then blurred...

Now daily, I commit to surrender
to let ALL the things that've harmed me go!
And more by the day, I crave what You created
to nourish each cell as they grow,
& as the imitation's been exposed & revealed
for the harmful garbage I once blindly chose
I'm feeling almost resurrected already!
Up from my grave, I arose!!!

So thank-you, God, for Your loving provision
of what our self-healing bodies require!
I'm sooo grateful You've lit up the path for me
that leads me increasingly higher!
I'd sunk down so low that I'd given up hope...
...now hope grows, more nourished by the day!
My life's being restored! Obedience brings such reward
as You're healing me in every way!
~By Anastazia~
*July, 2008*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Thirty Years to Come to This Place~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I remember realizing
being bigger meant looking older,
needing to grow up FAST,
choosing my soul's disguise~
~12 going on 20,
still a child inside,
soon buried under years of pain,
eventually hiding under the shame
of all the weight I'd gained...

...only when love entered into
my wounded, abandoned heart
did I even attempt to shed
the protection I'd found
beneath the layers of my past
constantly surrounding me~

~Healing has come slowly,
but each day, victory comes,
brick by brick, the wall around my heart
is being chiseled away,
once firmly held in place
by my excess weight~

~And as I choose the real food
that brings my healing to life,
I let the imitations go
& see them for the fool's gold
they've always been
& will remain!

No more hiding my heart,
buried in yesterday's pain,
it's time to feel
EVERYTHING
& live freely again!
Running, dancing, playing,
joyfully obeying
the Father's will & calling,
coming home...
...& staying!!!
~By Anastazia~
*July, 2008*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
From Glory to Glory!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Others look, & see the wall
around me still,
but You, Lord, see it fall!

And I know others look on
the outward parts,
but Your Word promises
You look on the heart!

Others tend to analyze,
judging the book
by it's cover & size,
but You see through
my disguise!!!

Others may not like what they see
when they look at me,
but Father, You see me FREE!

Others don't seem to understand
the things You've shown me You have planned,
...still, You hold me steady, while transforming me
in the palm of Your loving hand!

Others wonder how & when
You'll set me free completely~
They don't realize, Lord,
You already have!!!
It's just still manifesting!!!

~By Anastazia~

*July, 2008*

~I'm sew thankful!~

2008-07-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I spent a few hours building a new blog to share some of the things I've sewn & quilted....some of them (only music bags right now, but lots more to come!) are for sale, & I'd love to get your feedback & input on it!

(Especially on what to price the bags for, I always have such a hard time with that!)

So please, come visit & leave me some feedback! {I had so much fun gathering the pictures of women sewing all over the world!}

Here's the link: http://sewthankful.blogspot.com/

So how's your rawness? Mine's gettin' there, was hopin' to be 100% again, but am really, really close! The scale has NOT moved {except that it went UP there for a few days! *sigh*} for DAYS!

But I've also barely been sleeping sinse I broke raw...was up all night until noon today, then layed down for anout 3.5 hours...I'm really hoping to go to bed early tonight, & FINALLY get it turned around....yes, again!

My friend Shannon just let me know she found a dehydrator at a yard sale, so she's giving me hers!!!! Wooohoo, I'm sooooooo excited, & gathering up all the recipes (& ingredients!) I've been waitin' to try! & it's just in time for the 100% raw for 100 days challenge I'm doing at a site called RawFu!

Come check it out, it's an amazing new raw community that's sprung up after a woman named Bunny (well Beth, but she's called Bunny, I guess cuz she eats like one!) went raw for 100 days, & has now challenged others to join her....& over 600 have!!!

Here's the link: http://raw100.ning.com/ If that doesn't work, let me know, that's my home page, so it may not! I think you actually have to sign up to access it, not sure...I'll go ask, & when I find out, I'll let you know, K? Her's the link to Bunny's blog, you gotta check out her video's (they're on you tube, too!) she's very REAL, & has a great sense of humor!

{& there should be a link to the site on her blog!}

http://bunnyberry.blogspot.com/

Anyways, have a wonderfully raw day....night....whichever you're in the middle of! get some sunshine, & as Bunny says, "Eat your veggies!"

{...before they eat you!!!!!}

{Don'tcha just wanna give this guy a big kiss???!?

Ok, never mind, I think I've been single too long! He looks kinda yummy to me!}

~The purpose of Change~

2008-07-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

Even when years seem to go by with nothing much changing, things continue to change all around us....& in us...
Even when we're not purposely, consciously changing, we change, we grow, we continue to become more of who we really are...it's like when you meet someone older, & talk for awhile, you can see all they've learned, but still see the little kid in them!
We're always who we always were, but still, we change. Some fight this fact, some exaggerate this fact, but nothing changes this fact.
I look back & can see that some things I thought would never change are different. I can tell that, when I wasn't paying attention, I grew. I realize now that with time came a maturity in how I handle change I never had in my youth.
How I handle my weight, & food, for example, is different. I never used to want to eat in front of others because of previous experiences, looks, comments of others judging, saying hurtful things....even if what I was eating was very healthy...because of my obesity...like their comments & looks were as if they were thinking I shouldn't have been eating at all!
In fact, a boyfriend once said to me in a drunken moment of candor, "Why don't you just stop eating till you've dropped 100 pounds!" (At a party in front of everyone, embarrassed by their learning of my size, though it never seemed to bother him previously...)
And women can be far crueler than men with this, sad to say! But I've come to realize that their own insecurities, & fear of gaining weight, was staring them in the face when they observed me... ...there have been studies done where they ask young girls (in KINDERGARTEN, I believe it was!) if they'd rather be fat or... {fill in the blank...sick, poor, ugly!} & they almost ALWAYS chose anything but fat!
I remember being shocked that one of the questions was "Would you rather not have a mom, or be fat?" & STILL they'd give up their own mother rather than carry extra weight around!!! Aside from the possible damage done to even be asked (& compelled to consider, & answer) such a question, I was sooooo grieved that the brainwashing of our culture has so permeated even our youngest members that they would give up their most loved one rather than be what they've been taught to hate!
I've never felt the way many children clearly do now, but it's not hard to understand, given our culture's constant messages about bodies...having carried more weight than my peers from at least 11 years of age, {whether a little or a lot...the numbers on the scale gradually climbed...} I've just naturally developed such compassion on those struggling to be free from obesity, as I have been for most of my life...
And one day, when I've climbed out of this fat suit I've worn so long, I will always carry a little pamphlet I'm writing around with me, ready to give to anyone I'm led to, to share my story, with info on real, whole, raw foods, & how I was set free, with links to the best sites to learn more, with a recommended reading list, & encouragement to allow others to be there for them along the way...
...it will also contain my e-mail address, & this blog address, if they'd like to get in touch, whenever they're ready to begin...because the truth is, change is inevitable...& happens more effectively when we share the journey openly, with compassion, kindness & truth...no longer hiding, or in shame, feeling hopeless, like it'll never change!
Raw works! It's the God-given CURE for obesity, & I know it WILL work for anyone who is willing to follow through consistantly...as I'm learning to do...and yes, as I change, & the things that needed changing in my life are finally being transformed & healed....
{...because I stopped resisting change!}

~The Subtlety of Cravings~

2008-07-24T00:36:00.000-07:00

There are some cravings that come up & bonk you over the side of the head, insisting you pay attention & satiate them, & refuse to leave until you do! Usually these come with sudden changes in the diet, & withdrawal from foods/beverages with addictive properties (for example sugar & caffeine...)
...then there are those cravings that come & go, & can be ignored, postponed, distracted, but still, they continue rearing their ugly heads whenever it strikes their fancy...
...& then there are those cravings that are initiated by our surroundings...sights, smells, commercials, what we're preparing for or watching others eat...they're the ones that gently plead with you to heed their siren call of deception, promising sweet reward, longing to distracting you with carnal pleasures, in the hopes that you'll forget the consequences of previously yielding to their seductive lies.
Some handle these various cravings victoriously...just make up their mind to not yield, no matter what, & they taste victory with every bite of raw whole foods, flooding their bodies with nutrients so that their cravings gently fade away by the day~
Others handle them emotionally, sometimes resisting, sometimes giving in, depending on circumstances, feelings, physical strength or weakness, fluctuating as they gradually progress towards overcoming~
& now I know the truth, that there is no right or wrong way to transition to or become raw...there is only our way, the way that's right for us to take right now...there is only where we're currently at...
...& the real issue is not cravings & temptations, but our daily health, & whether we're building it up, maintaining, or tearing it down~
& even when we aren't doing as well as we'd hoped, there's always learning occurring, if we're paying attention as we make these daily health decisions...
...& because of that, we can extend grace to ourselves {& others, as well} as we press on, seeking victory & healing, no matter how fast or slow our progress~
The truth is, we're already way ahead of the game {& most of the population!} in our willingness to finally take responsibility for our health, & to stop blaming genetics, doctors, our upbringing, our finances, our home life, our various circumstances that will always interfere with our victory if we allow it to!
Society goes against this, family members can resist this, but when we just press on, & do what we know is right for us, our bodies, our healing, without judging others for not being there yet, eventually that loving perseverance, & the changes it brings, will inspire, motivate, & strengthen other to also finally take responsibility for learning about & changing their own health's future!
~Change only comes with a willingness to see, face, & accept the truth, & do whatever it takes to overcome the things that hinder us~
I believe the Lord has a time already planned that we're to be born, & to die...this lifestyle, to me, is not about prolonging my days, but about how I live the days I've been given... & being able to do ALL I've been created to do ALL the days of my life, & not allowing harmful health habits (& their consequences) to hinder His plan & purpose & calling for my life (any longer!)!
So imperfectly as I've been doing lately, I know I'm progressing, changing, & yes, healing, albeit slower than I would prefer, but still, no longer standing still or going backwards...
...so which direction are you going in? & are you being gentle with yourself, even as you push for change? Are you learning from everything you're doing, even if it doesn't perfectly line up with your goals & commitments yet?
That's when victory is guaranteed to arrive!!!
And THAT'S when resisting temptations, cravings, & memories of comfort foods changes, shifts, & suddenly (or eventually!) becomes less of a struggle, & more of an adventurous journey full of suprises!
May you be suprised today by your changes,
as I've been more every day by mine!

~Back on the Raw Horse!~

2008-07-20T16:34:00.001-07:00

Well, yesterday was better, back to 95% raw, & today, back to 100%!

I gained a few pounds back from my moments of weakness (so not worth it for that reason, too!) & After Hannah came home, she got sick...I've been fighting it, feelin' it trying to come on me, but I'm doin' lotsa lemons, & fruit, & just eating light~

I've learned, once again, that my body needs raw food to heal, I'm still sooo achey & tired from processing it out of my body! My nose is a little clogged still, & my tummy is hurting, & my digestion's backed up...

...been eating lotsa watermelon today, & am going to have even more! & then a big salad tonight....wish I was healthy enough to fast, though...

Here's the first radish Hannah ever grew! (We ate it together right before she went to camp!)

Too busy, too tired, & way too much pain~

2008-07-19T01:09:00.000-07:00

Because of my health limitations, the pace of my life has slown down considerably...but sometimes, I'll have a hectic, non-stop exhausting day, & I realized today I need to have a plan waiting in the wings for when that happens in the future.
Today, I had friends show up when I was barely awake to help me out getting everything ready for Hannah's return, especially her bedroom, before she arrived home from camp....
...& though I had smoothie left from yesterday, I got so caught up in working, (almost 8 hours non-stop!) I didn't even pull it out until I was FAMISHED!
I barely drank one cup, it was upsetting my tummy (put too much arugula in it, & then too much cinnamon in my attempt to cover up the arugula...*sigh*...)
By the time Hannah got home, it was late! We visited a bit, then as we were talking & unpacking, out came all these munchies, (nuts & bolts with spices (BBQ?), little cheeze fishy crackers, fruitopia drink, roasted honeyed nuts, & *gulp* chocolate!)
...I was soooo tired, sore, & starving by then I just started nibbling on everything...ok, the truth is, I just dove in head first...
...yes, I stupidly decided to 'take the night off of raw'...also ate some veggies with dip {with dairy in it! I CAN'T do dairy!!!} that I'd cut up earlier for my guests...
...I didn't even eat that much, but now I can hardly breathe, I'm totally clogged, feeling very asthmatic (had it in the past, stays gone if I eat healthy & avoid dairy etc.), & like I'm getting sick...my tummy hurts, my head is spinning...& boy, do I CLEARLY see the foolishness of choosing this!
How I wish now I'd just added a few bananas to the smoothie & drank it, or made myself get up (but we were both sooo exhausted!) & get some more veggies, & made an avacado dip or something....or just grabbed some fruit!Anything but what I foolishly chose!
The only good thing about it is that it's confirmed to me (yes, once again!) that I really do need to stick with 100%, no matter what!!!
& I've learned that I MUST have a back-up plan, & not allow myself to neglect my body's needs, & get so famished, {especially in combination with pain & exhaustion.}
Something tells me I'll be paying for this for more than just tonight & tomorrow...I have a big watermelon for tomorrow {Saturday}, I may just stick to that most of the day...*sigh*...
The silly thing is, I really didn't even WANT to break raw, I was just too exhausted to prepare food, or care in the moment...DUMB, huh?!
{& boy, after yesterday's post, too!!! Hannah was soooo happy when she came home to discover I've been staying raw, & releasing more weight...}
I'll weigh in in the morning (if I can even get to sleep, feeling like this...) just to re-confirm the lesson.
{Not promising I'll post the damage done though...*SIGH*...}
P.S.
An afterthought...
I know the change in my ability to do this struggle-free (stay raw) began when I asked the Lord to give me the fruit of the Spirit of self-control...
I know when I don't take time for Him, time to pray, & spend time in His Word, (as I didn't have time to today) it's harder to be strong...
...especially when I'm weak....
...& it's not that I didn't have time, truth be told...I didn't take time, checked my e-mails first, didn't know they were coming over...
{...more lessons learned...}

~(The Bible says) Love does NO harm!~

2008-07-18T02:46:00.000-07:00

I wrote this, below, in response to a comment made at RFT, & feel led to share it with you...

Quote: (me writing) Also, when you wrote this, it really resonated with me, this is exactly what God's teaching me right now... "Because if I love myself I would never do any harm to me..."

He's been showing me that because He loves me, & my daughter loves me, & others love me, it hurts Him, & them when I do harm to myself by poor eating & not being active enough to stay healthy...
...& that when I allow Him to heal me through what HE gave us for food, rather than the world's poor imitation, then I'm showing Him how thankful I am for the life He's given me!
...& THEN I'm showing my daughter how much I love our life together!
...& that's teaching her to not develop self-destructive ways, & that looking after our bodies, the temple of the Holy Spirit, is an act of worship & thanksgiving! {End Quote}

As I pondered these things tonight, remembering all the self-destructive behaviour I've displayed over the years, at first, I was totally ashamed....it made me want to hide, until I'm healthy again...but I know that my God is merciful, & that ALL my sins are washed away, by my faith in what He did on the cross to remove them, & their weight (no pun intended!) is something I no longer need to carry...
...& He began to show me how He sees me...with compassion, understanding, seeing everything I've experienced in life, even the things no-one else knows...
He showed me, again, how much He wanted to be there for me more than I allowed Him to be when my heart was broken repeatedly, when I was used & abused, & how He carried me through when I had no strength to go on...& how He saved my life more times than I know...
He's poured out His grace over the times I settled for so little in all my relationships, with so little self-respect I expected none from anyone else...
I know He saw me stuff the feelings down that I just couldn't trust anyone with...even myself...He saw me turn to food when He was calling me to turn to Him...
...& as He's shown these things to me, in His lovingkindness, He's given me true & total repentance, & forgave me for my idolatry & foolish rebellion to what I knew a long time ago, but was too undisciplined & carnal to obey....
...& now, here I am, on the other side of self-destruction, knowing how much I need Him, knowing just how much His loving me makes all the difference...
...knowing that, "Without Him," as the Bible says, "I can do NOTHING, but WITH Him, I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!"
{One of the best gifts God's ever given me!!!}

~Emotional Eating~

2008-07-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

There are many ways to look at this issue, I realize, but as a believer & follower of Christ, I myself must look at it scripturally...& there is MUCH in the Bible about this...
...I'm not going to go look up every chapter & verse, but just share the things God's been teaching me, {especially lately} as He's been answering my prayer to have the fruit of the Spirit in my daily life of self-control.
First of all, yes, I've prayed for that many times over the years...the difference this time was I was willing to go through (to the other side of!) ANYTHING to be able to daily walk in the fullness of it....to obey His leading, & not the dictates of my carnal nature any longer...to, as the Bible says, die to SELF, crucify my flesh, & allow HIM to be God, NOT my belly!
The Bible tells us that we disciples of Jesus are to present our bodies to Him DAILY as a living sacrifice...yes, even in their run down, abused, neglected, sorry state! We are no longer only our own, we've been bought & paid for with a price...once we come to that place of surrender, & allow HIM to be LORD (BOSS! THE ONE IN CHARGE!) things can truly change, & be healed, & restored...oops, I mean RAWstored!
I had to finally come to the place of no longer denying that my gluttony was a SIN, 7 that I was living to eat, not eating to live. Food was far too important to me.
I'm beginning to understand the addictive aspects of sugar, & other things, & I was a major chocoholic! But still, God will set us free if we truly want to be free!
(See this post at RFT for an interesting video on the power sugar can have over a brain, & the level of addiction it causes...) http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/showthread.php?t=42925
The bottom line seems to be are we going to live being led around by our emotions....or by the Holy Spirit?
I know, for myself, I had no hope of getting free of this before I met Jesus...& it's still taken all these years to come to the place of surrendering completely in this area of my life.
Crucifying our flesh nature takes on different forms for different believers...for me, this is an area I'd lived in denial of for years, & then struggled with, seeking healing, attempting to change, {but often in my own strength, not relying on Him daily to BE my strength!}
(The Bible says His strength is made PERFECT in weakness!)
As my old friend used to always tell me, "When you're struggling with something, it's cuz God is trying to remove it from your life...& you're trying to hang on!"
So here I am, experiencing victory every single day lately, having it be almost EASY to be 100% (or very close!)...as long as I have a heart that seeks Him, & is listening to His gentle, still voice leading, guiding me through my days....
...the struggle's finally ended, He's confirmed to me numerous times, in so many ways, that this (RAW!) IS the path to healing He wants me to take...
...a narrow one, yes, like the one for salvation, & just like that one, as He said, few will find it...& yes, wide IS the way that leads to death, & MANY go that way...& I accept now that I can never walk that path again...
...how could I ignore all I've learned, after He's so mercifully miraculously healed me of breast cancer? I KNOW what I need to do now to be healed from everything else, & there's nothing else to do!
Check this out....especially if you need MORE proof of the power of RAW???
http://www.naturalnews.com/023655.html
There's much more I want to write on this, but I need to go pick a bunch of raspberries!!!!
{I missed getting out there yesterday, & there's TONS!!!!}
{Want some? Come on over!!!}

~Lesson Definately Learned~

2008-07-17T01:27:00.000-07:00

Today's been a loooong interesting day! I got up after not enough sleep, had to go out soon after, no time for breki, ran around for a few hours, came home starving, ate 9 or 10 mandarin oranges (wish they'd been organic, but mmmm, were they good!)...
...then had company awhile, made a BIG salad when they left, enough for tonight AND tomorrow, but ended up eating it ALL tonight! (In two sittings, a few hours apart!) Used most of my sunflower seed sprouts, they were sooooo good! I felt soooo nourished & satisfied on a cellular level!
Then, I got a call from the nurse at camp where Hannah is right now...as soon as she said who she was, my heart started pounding!!! (She's riding horses there, & in the water!! Of course my mind went to the WORST that could happen!)
They were taking her to the ER for x-rays...she stubbed her toe! They thought it was broken! {It wasn't, just badly sprained!} Then, for some dumb old familiar stuff-my-feelings reason, I ate a chocolate bar...& immediately regretted it...& got an instant tummy ache!
Yes, lesson learned. That won't be happenin' again! (I haven't eaten emotionally for so long, (the other day I THOUGHT I wanted chocolate when I had my period but MY BODY said NO! You DON'T WANT THAT!!!} but it was just almost automatic, but it didn't comfort or help me, at all!!!)
I was given the bars today, put them aside for Hannah, but am going to just give 'em away or throw them out!!! The Bible says, "make no provision for the flesh", & that definitely applies here!
I did get a big watermelon for tomorrow, (to eat, juice, & maybe make a slushy/smoothie with oranges!) & avocados, so I can finally make some chocolate pudding!
The salad I made tonight was so incredibly delish, & TOTALLY satisfying (did I say that already?) that it's what I'll be making tomorrow, too! (But won't be waiting until dinnertime!)
Did I mention I LOVE Raw foods!????!!??!!!?

~Weigh-in Day!!!~

2008-07-15T15:29:00.001-07:00

I LOVE RAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wasn't going to step on the scale today, because I still have my period, but I got curious, cuz I FEEL lighter, so I thought I'd weigh in...& I'm soooo glad I did! My weight is down again!!!
Are you ready for the grand total sinse just after starting the 30 day challenge?
(I forgot to weigh in until the 3rd...& was about 85-90% raw for 3/4's of June, & started then at about 380)
I began on July 3rd at 375, & today weigh 361!
14 pounds released in 12 days!!!
I'm soooooo excited to see what the rest of the month will bring...I may even set BIGGER goals, I want to lose AT LEAST 10 more pounds by the end of this month, but maybe 15 isn't out of reach, especially as I'm able to exercise more!
I'm hoping once my period's finally done, this back pain will ease up, & I can start using the treadmill I have access to, & livning more actively (right now I hurt too much to do too much, so I've been just doing light stretching, hand weights, using my physioball, & walking a little, & trying to be on my feet more...)
I can't WEIGHT to go check in at RFT (that's Raw Food Talk) & share my news!
I know I've been this weight before with raw, way back, but there ain't no goin' back this time! How could I even consider it? Raw living is doing so much for me, in so many ways, & I'm soooo sick & tired of bein' sick & tired!!!!!!!

~A New Goal to Reach Towards~

2008-07-14T21:52:00.000-07:00

http://www.rawcovery.org/index.php
Check this site out, it looks good, & I can't wait to see it grow!
...& now I have a new goal, to post my testimony there as one who's been healed of ALL the things I currently have going on! Shall I list them all for you? Actually, I'll be making a post of the health issues I'm dealing with soon, but right now I'm off to pick raspberries before it gets too dark out!
Just wanted to share this new site with you, my faithful readers...
{...I know I have at least one...Hi, Leah! *waving*}

~Daily Changes~

2008-07-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

Every day, I notice little changes, & am more & more motivated to STAY raw as I head towards the BIGGER changes I need, & know are coming! Today, I can see my skin is getting clearer, & is less dry than it's been.
It definately feels like a breakthrough has happened in me, the temptation to break raw is definately less by the day, even with having my period!
In fact, I want cooked or junk food even LESS right now because I KNOW my body is cleansing, & will really react strongly to thing not healthy! My cycle has been very intense the last few years...
...I used to have no cramps, no PMS symptoms, & it would just last 2-3 days (which I've heard is a sign that everything is functioning better, the shorter your cycle is...)
...now, it's only coming a few times a year, & so when it does, it's very painful, heavy, & lasts almost a week! This time, I had lower back pain more intense than back labour for about 4 days before it FINALLY started, & once it did, it lessened to about half. Not fun.
I eagerly anticipate returning to a regular light cycle! I know it'll happen...the more raw I eat, the less time there is between cycles...(down to a few months, rather than the twice a year that was happening last year!)
& I was goona wait until after my period, but weighed myself today, & actually took off a few more lbs, even with my period! Yay!
Feelin' better by the day!!!

~Went to a Garden Party...Somewhere Over the Rainbow!~

2008-07-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

"Went to a garden party!" {Tea party, that is!}
Hannah came home from a yardsale today with this for me!
So now, when I do have my herbal teas, it's a reminder to stay raw!
What a sweetie, huh?

...& this is a piece of purple cabbage she couldn't bring herself to eat tonight cuz it looked like a little bird to her! (With the broccoli eye!) {Looks like a seahorse to me!} So we put it on my monitor with the rainbow she made me, & she sang, "Somewhere over the rainbow where purple birds fly..." {You can see it better if you click on it, it goes REAL big!)

Then we went & googled my absolute all-time favorite version of that song, done by an incredibly gifted woman who, sad to say, is no longer with us, but WOW, whatta voice! You GOTTA check this out!!!
Her name's Eva Cassidy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfEIBZFkz_o
This is a list of videos of people singing this song along with her, so moved were they by her version...
{...there's also the guitar karaoke version of her version on the list somewhere, with the lyrics, Hannah & I have been singing it all night as we're getting her ready for camp!}
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=somewhere+over+the+rainbow+karaoke&search_type=&aq=2&oq=somewhere+over+the+rainbow+ ...& And here's an incredible show {60 minutes, though of course it's less without the commercials} on her life, & her amazing voice & music...well worth watching!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd9pWLrjyUg
Of course, this is a really wonderful version, too, from an amazing guy (Israel) from Hawaii, who also is no longer with us...{I hope his death wasn't weight related...he was so young!}
When a car company used his version of this song on their commercial, it was the only commercial I ever liked enough to wait for & turn up!!! & after that commercial, his music was discovered by the world! But alas, he'd already left this world...towards the end of this video, they're scattering his ashes...gets me crying every time...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL-uL2M3xvM
Have a musical, peaceful, joyful rawlicious day!

~{Drinking} The Color Purple~

2008-07-12T22:21:00.000-07:00

Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy!
Oh, my goodness, were these the best smoothies today, or what??!

Wanna know how I made it look so purdy??? Easy peasy!
I made a blender FULLA smoothie (bananas, raspberries, parsley, spinich, bit o' water)
& then I poured half a glass full into each of our cups, then added a bunch of blueberries to what was left in the blender, then just topped our cups up! & that was my brunch & almost all my dinner today! Soooo filling, satisfying, & just what I needed! next time I'll do three layers, with more raspberries!
You all know, don't you, that if someone's grossed out at the thought of drinking GREEN smoothies, just put in blueberries, & they'll never know!!!
{Until ya tell 'em, of course! Remember to have a camera ready!}

Angel....???

2008-07-12T14:15:00.001-07:00

ANGEL, where are you??? I've been wanting to come visit your blog, see how you're doing, but can't find the link anywhere!
If you're still checkin' in here, please send me the link to your blog again! (Just had my computer re-done & can't find it now, it may've been lost!) You can send it to me at the same e-dress as before, stazia@telus.net ...
...you're in my thoughts & prayers!

Oh, & Shannon's FINALLY posting again, I know she'd enjoy visitors on her blog! (You'll love her sense of ha-ha!) AND she just became a Grandma!
The link is: http://www.butterflytrails.blogspot.com/

...& while I'm at it, here's an interesting link I just found again in my list of favorites:
( It's a free e-book you don't need to download to read, with a very interesting perspective on 911 & what occurred immediately afterwards, starts on page 1...& from what I remember, it's a very informative, well-written book! I plan on re-reading it while Hannah's at camp...when I'm not re-doing her bedroom!!! & quilting, & playing the guitar & singing without interruption...gotta keep busy or I'll go crazy missin' her!!!)
http://www.reinventingjesuschrist.com/

That's all for now, off to stretch on the physioball & take a hot bath & see if that helps my back some! (See post below, written a few minutes ago...)

~Painful, Like Never Before~

2008-07-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

I've always had fairly easy periods, but sinse the've been irregular the past few years, they've been more...um...intense...but right now, I'm having major almost labor-like pain, especially in my lower back, & can hardly sit, move, stand...all I've wanted to to do is lie down the last 2 days...this one took a few days to actually get started from when I first knew it was coming, & it's reminding me of when I was in labor for 23 hours after being up for 24 before it even began, as in, "WHEN will it END?!?!?!?!"
I'm really tempted to take one of the painkillers I was prescribed for my FM, but know they're not good for my liver (I often get pain in that area after taking meds) but am almost to the point of not caring right now, I just need relief...
I haven't had much strength to prepare raw foods, or sit & do all the chopping to make smoothies (let alone keep up with the dishes) so I haven't been 100% raw again...
...*sigh*...I wish now I'd just fasted or something, or done mono meals...Hannah's been non-stop busy lately, & though she's helping keep the raspberry bushes picked, (gets her friends to help, & then they eat most of them!) she hasn't been here much to help with other stuff...
...& I'm trying to get her ready to go to camp tomorrow, & she forgot to set the alarm last night, & I forgot to check it, for once, & so after working all week to get my little night owl turned around, we both slept in until 1 this afternoon! ARGH!!! (Ok, I KNOW that was a LOTTA &'s!)
I just want chocolate. I don't have anything here to make any raw chocolate treats, but am fighting it with everything I have in me...I KNOW this will be easier on me physically if I STAY 100% raw, {I could tell that as soon as I ate cooked!!! & know the last thing I need is JUNK FOOD!!!)
So please, keep me in your prayers!!!! As in, stop right now & pray for me, pleeeeeease!!!
& tell me, where's your own personal live-in raw chef/coach when ya need one, huh?!?

~Casting My Burdens Upon Him~

2008-07-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

This extra weight I carry burdens my body, my back, my feet, my heart...but more than that, it's been a burden to my life, my living for God & others, & serving Him, & them...
...when I'm in pain all the time, just getting through the day becomes my focus, & my hourly priority...I'm so weary of that, & NEED it to change!!!
Because I've been strong overall, & have a strong constitution, I've handled it up until the last 50-75 lbs...
...but it's caught up to me, as I've grown older, & by the grace of God, & I know due to my overall fairly healthy diet even when not raw, I've not had a heart attack, as some have in their early 40's (& even late 30's!) weighing far less than me...but I'm seeing that I cannot presume this will remain the case...
...when I work out now, & get my heart pounding, (& it doesn't take much to get that happening!) I can feel that it's not strong, & needs strengthening....
...so movement has become my new priority...sitting less, on my feet more, gentle stretching EVERY SINGLE TIME I GET UP, going up the stairs at least 5 times a day, (to get the mail, take out garbage, answer the door...instead of asking Hannah to do those things, as I've been doing...)
...& today, I'm getting my weightlifting & rebounder area set up properly, so it's easily accessible throughout the day...(& clear the floor again so I can easily set up my mat & physioball without having to move things first!)
...God has been sooo patient with me to fully GET this, & apply what He's taught me, & also, so protective of Hannah's need for me to remain here on earth with her...I want to show my appreciation for the blessed life He's given me by returning to 'presenting my body to Him daily as a living sacrifice', which the Bible calls my reasonable service, & an act of worship...
{...of Him, not my self..."More of Him, less of me," as John the Baptist said..}
It boils down to this...something inside me is changing...but not by my own efforts, but by His power working in me to bring my life in line with His will...
...my own efforts have resulted in soooo little real change...but His working in me is changing everything...
...I've just had to learn to fully surrender, & set my heart to obey, as He leads each day, & allow Him to complete the work He's begun in me in this area of my life...finally...
...& things are actually, truly changing, on the inside first, which I can see has had to happen...then the outside will line up with what He created me to be...
...too bad I can't take 'before' & 'after' pictures of THAT!!!

~Carrot Love~

2008-07-08T23:56:00.000-07:00

When carrots fall in love & get married, they have lotsa little carrot babies (& they like to hang out with garlic!)

I LOVE carrots!!!! Hey, are they siamese twins, or married?
...& below is what it looks like when carrots sit around the house!!!

Yes, I confess, I'm in a silly mood!

{Did you know that carrots have more absorbable calcium than milk!}

"Got carrots???"

Go to this link & type in "got carrots" on the left, at the top, under search...

(I really want to order one of these one day...)

{This is one of my favorite sites, lotsa raw info & articles, & excellent free newsletter, & testimonials, too!}

https://commerce.hacres.com/productcat.aspx?cat=1047

Raspberry pickin'!

2008-07-08T15:34:00.000-07:00

I spent about 4 hours yesterday picking raspberries, propping the bushes up, clearing the path between the two bushes, & filling bucket after bucket with they sweet yumminess! I was seeing them in my dreams! I decided to just ignore my exhaustion, my achiness, & do it anyways! Got quite a workout in, too!
I also got....drumroll, please...my PERIOD! (You can leave now, guys!) I've had many PCOS symptoms for a few years now, & especially erratic periods, but raw seems to be healing that, bringing them more frequently again, though still not often enough...(my Dr. told me that when you don't have your periods regularily, it can build up in the lining ot the uterus & leave to uterine cancer, etc. but i know God is rawstoring my body, & I'm heading in the opposite direction...& as Dr. Lorraine Day says, "Cancer doesn't scare me anymore!")
I keep forgetting to drink the vitex (herbal) tea I got for this, but I have been praying about it...God is so good! I know He can do miracles, but in certain things, I've felt His leading was that I have to do my part, (eat the way He's shown me to have my health restored) then He'll do miracles...this is one of those areas...
Off to make a raspberry smoothie, then go pick some more...can't wait until our cherries & grapes, & apricots are ready!!!

WHY CAN"T I SLEEP???!!!???!!!???

2008-07-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

It's driving me crazy, this partial insomnia....I can sleep, no problem, once I GET to sleep...but even when I'm really tired & yawning, I have a hard time falling asleep...often, due to pain, but not always...I am in a considerable amount right now, as weight starts coming off, everything in my back, hips, shoulders seems to shift, & the FM stuff comes & goes, & gets better in waves, but when it's waxing & waning, OH, the nights like this seem so endless!
This level of pain really only hit me last night this time, usually it's after two weeks or so, or about 10-15 lbs (which is what I've released in the past in 2 weeks when I've gone 100% raw...I haven't weighed in for days, so have no idea where I'm at, am waiting for Wednesday...) I haven't been sleeping properly, or near enough, for MONTHS now! I'm sooo tired of being overtired!!!
Sorry, I don't mean to whine...don't know how much this is because of the FM, & how much is my weight...my legs have been throbbing, & feeling heavy{like cement}, which I know can be part of MS, & my legs are where it's affected me the most, in the past...I'm also sitting too much, but it hurts to stand for too long...I remember reading that standing is best, & laying down is much gentler on your spine than sitting...
I also have little appetite when I've been up all night (which is funny, everyone else says when they're tired they eat MORE!) so I'll likely just have fruit most of the day, & maybe a smoothie or salad later...
I was given a bunch of garden-fresh spinich from our pastor's garden, & it's soooooooo yummy! But there's too much to eat in the next few days, (& you've gotta alternate your greens, especially spinich, otherwise it can lead to arthritic symptoms, because of the high oxalic acid content, which will build up in your joints...) so I think I'm going to blend a bunch & freeze it for future smoothies in jars...
Here's some info on it, about how it also hinders the absorbtion of iron, taken from here:
http://www.healthcastle.com/iron-spinach.shtml

So Should you or Should you not eat Spinach?
You do not need to give it up if you are a spinach lover! Simply eat spinach with any foods containing iron absorption enhancers. Here are some examples:
Iron Absorption Enhancers
Fruits: Orange, Orange Juice, cantaloupe, strawberries, grapefruit and other Vitamin-C rich fruits
Vegetables: Broccoli, brussels sprouts, tomato, tomato juice, potato, green & red peppers

I'm off to go stretch on my physioball, & maybe take a bath...it's 8:30 am, so can't go lay down for a few hours, I need to get Hannah up & on track for the day, & I think the landlord is coming by, so I need to clean up some more....*sigh*...& of course NOW I could sleep...
HEAL ME, LORD!!!!

~Daily Little Healings~

2008-07-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

Things are subtly beginning to change, & I can feel the improvements coming by the day! Whenever I've been raw, then go back to SAD food, I can handle it less & less, & the side affects are worse each time...but each time I go raw, I'm more aware of my body, more sensitive to it's benefits & blessings, & seem to start healing quicker each time...which is making it easier to stay raw this time without yeilding to temptations! (except *sigh* chick peas & salad dressing!)
For example, the IBS symptoms I've had on & off for years now (comes with the fibromyalgia) were getting very painful the last few months, but already, after just days of nearly 100%, it's almost completely settled down!
My skin already seems clearer, too, & the rosacea is settling down, & I think the tiny little red veins that were in my cheeks are leaving! As in HEALING!!!
The more I'm learning about how food affects everything in our bodies, every system, every cell, everything, the more I marvel at the way we've been created, & the way He created such perfect nourishment for us!
I've studied everything the Bible has to say about nutrition, & so am not against meat for that reason, BUT the meat in Bible times, first of all, was typically a feast (as in OCCASIONAL!) food, & most importantly, was only about 5% fat...whereas now it's 45% fat OR MORE!!! {Not to mention all the growth hormones, steroids, antibiotics pumped into them!}
...& it always amazes me that the first thing Jesus did after His resurrection was build a fire & feed His disciples fish...but now, with all the mercury found in all seafood, I know He would not want us poisoning ourselves with it!
{It must grieve Him so much seeing what's been done to His wonderful creations!}
I've never liked ANY seafood, actually, & decided a long time ago that I'd just wait for Him to offer me some at the Wedding Feast...then I'll try it...& probably like it! {Unless it's a raw vegan feast, of course! & we're back to the original diet, in God's perfect time!}
I also agree that fruits, veggies, nuts & seeds were the first food given in the garden for people to live on...& had read that it was people's rebellion that caused them to begin eating meat (which greatly shortened their lifespan) after the flood...
...but after looking it up for myself again, see that it's GOD who gave them meat to eat...so, I no longer see it as rebellion to God's original plan {to allow meat in the diet} but know that we need to use wisdom now, & pray about, & think through our choices...
...perhaps when I'm free of my health problems, & this obesity, I will incorporate free-range, organic meat etc. into my diet...something to pray about, when the time comes...
{...If I do, it would only be very occasionally, knowing that it's the over-consumption of it {& dairy} that causes many health problems!}
Actually, I have read some blogs lately of those who are raw aside from a little free-range, organic meat, dairy, eggs, & said that, after years of raw, they now feel better, stronger, healthier (& some had blood tests to prove it) with allowing a very moderate amount of these things back into their diet....hmmmmm.....food for thought...
{By the way, did you see the HUGE list of raw blogs I posted on the left side, {under "Ultimate list of Raw Blogs"...} Here's the link, in case you missed it...
//http://rawfoodrightnow.blogspot.com/2007/07/ultimate-list-of-raw-food-blogs.html }
...perhaps that's how they were so healthy back when they ate really healthy, simple, the mediterranian diet with lotsa produce, & occasional, small amounts of meat etc., without the B12 deficiency ever being an issue...
...before that, when the earth was new, the soil was perfect, & not deficient in anything, so they were able to be perfectly healthy on only a raw diet~
After the fall, with it's consequences, perhaps the gradual decline in human lifespan ties in not only with meat consumption that was added to their diet, but also the gradual erosion of the soil & it's nutrients....?
Anyways, either way, enjoy the abundance of produce God's provided! May it be to you a tool to transform, heal, RAWstore, & envigorate you! I pray He'll lead you, one day at a time, into the very center of His will~

~My Favorite Song~

2008-07-06T01:31:00.000-07:00

As I've been thinking back over the last half a year or so, sinse I was diagnosed & then miraculously healed of inflammatory breast cancer (the agressive, most dangerous kind!) this amazing song keeps coming to mind...so I thought I'd share it with you...
...it sums up why, though I still knew I have things here to do, I'm not afraid to die...ever sinse I first heard it, a year or so ago, I've not been able to listen to it even once without crying as I try to sing it...
...& it's what I want to videotape myself singing & have played at my funeral, whenever my time does come to leave this world... (once I learn to play it on the guitar, or maybe just singing along with the video playing online...)
Enjoy! & may it minister hope, strength, peace, & anticipation to you as it always does to me!
http://www.andiesisle.com/icanonlyimagine.html

~Smoothies'n'juicing & listening~

2008-07-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

More breakfast/lunch of raspberry smoothies again today, (& a ton of fresh ones brought in so I can was, dry & freeze them, on a cookie sheet so they don't freeze to each other when I put them in a container! I think I'm goona TOTALLY EMPTY my freezer of everything else & FILL IT with these sweet favorite berries!!! & I could, actually! We have a whole fence-full length bush (2 rows of bushes, actually!) that re-fill with sweet goodness daily, if we water daily!!!
I'm feeling a definite difference with raw this time...like it's more effective, quicker than other times...I'm kinda cleaning house, (if ya know what I mean!) & am led to drink LOTS of lemon water...I'm also feeling a need to exercise more, though my sleep has been so erratic, it's hard to find the energy sometimes to do so...but just the stretching & light weight-lifting I've been doing has been very beneficial.
I spent HOURS yesterday on a blog with easily-accessed radio shows of this great host, Revvell, (who I 'met' at RFT!) interviewing those who've written RAW Books, & as I listened to the shows, I was sooooo totally encouraged, inspired, & educated!
The first one (that made me go check it out, though I've heard about it on RFT for awhile, just never took the time!) that I heard was her talking with Phillip McCluskey who's release 200 lbs in 2 years with raw foods...(he's also looking for weight-loss stories for a book he's putting together....I sooooooo wish I was ready already!)
Anyways, here's the link, go check it out, you'll be glad ya did! http://rawkinradio.com/
Maybe one day when I get my book written, I'll be interviewed by her! I feel like I know her already, after listening to her so long, & hearing her personality shining through! She's a great host, & has a really wonderful, dancing laugh!
{Another goal I've put on my list! AFTER I write my book, of course...which I've already begun, & hope to be done when I hit my goal weight!}

~RASPBERRY smoothie!!!~

2008-07-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

I made the most INCREDIBLE smoothie today! You GOTTA try it!!! First, I filled my big blender more than HALF full of fresh-picked raspberries!!! Then, a big handful of garden-fresh spinich, 1 apple, & a touch of organic cinnamon! YOWZERS!!!! Go make one right now, I'll wait!
....Ok, are you back? Told ya!!!
Wow, I feel so good today, though my legs are really aching, & I'm really tired, & hoping to get to bed early~ I can feel my energy levels increasing from the increased nutrition, & from not eating unhealthy things, too, of course~
I got some carrots & have decided to start juicing again, my pastor has a TON of spinich growing, & though I know I can't have too much too many days in a row, (cuz of the high levels of oxalic acid in them, which can cause arthritic symptoms...) I'm going to be throwing that in often, as well...& I've been craving my blender applesauce, & can't wait to try it tomorrow with a bunch of raspberries!
Hannah's decided that 100% raw is a little too challenging for her, she's off for camp in a week, & doesn't know that when she returns, we WILL have a 100% kitchen!!! Everything else'll be gone! & I'll have the things needed for trying a new recipe DAILY for the week she's home until she goes to camp again, & then, we're off to see my sis & her family, & she'll be at least 75% then (her hubby's a great cook, so I'll let her have dinners cooked, as long as she has either salad or veggies & dip too, & is raw the rest of the time...
...she's starting to see that just being young & healthy won't protect her from the consequences of a SAD diet, & is already starting to experiences some of them! & she sure likes it when I'm 100%! {Says I'm a happier mom right away as soon as I go raw!}
My IBS seems to be going away again...wow! So fast this time, & I haven't even been completely 100%! (Canned chickpeas in my salad, & a tiny bit of watered down salad dressing a time or two, & a few other minor things...but I wanna be 100%, & am going to keep trying to find a raw dressing I like, & mabe try soaking/sprouting my own chick peas...)
Off to go do some stretching, & then do some sewing on my first commissioned quilt I'm making for some dear friends! (Don't know if or how much I'll be getting paid for it, but they've purchased all the supplies, & it's coming together wonderfully so far!)
Have a RAWSOME day!

~New Beginnings~

2008-07-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

Today is the 1st day of the rest of my life...right? I remember my mom saying that often, in the 70's when everybody said that...only when I grew up did it really make sense...
I'm weary of going back & forth. I'm done with SAD food. DONE. I'm ready to follow through CONSISTENTLY with pursuing my goals, full steam ahead.
It feels good, RIGHT to COMMIT publicly, at RFT, to doing 30 days of 100%...I know it's what's needed to break this cycle of going back & forth between cooked & raw. It grieves me that I still do this, when I feel so much better right away when I stay raw...I'm so tired of my health being so poor, & though I know there are other contributing factors, it's time to deal with this area of my life, once & for all.
So I'm off to make a grapefruit smoothie for breakfast now...didn't go to the picnic, couldn't sleep last night, & am all stuffed up today. Then, I'm going to go clean out the cupboards, because Hannah has agreed to go 100% with me this month. Then, I'm going to go outside & pick some raspberries for the applesauce I want to make for later!
& how's your day going?
I hope you're blessed, & doing your best!

Quilting & Smoothies!!!

2008-06-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

This is a quilt I just made for a little guy in Guatamala named Genser Rolando, our homeschool group sponsors him...please keep him in your prayers, his family's going through many hard times...it was delivered to him in person from some local missionaries....
{...that's my Hannah, holding it up, standing on a table!}

I'm drinking an amazing smoothie right now, it's ALL I want!!! & soooo satisfying!!!!

It's a whole organic honeydew melon, 2 mangoes, 2 bananas, a handful of kale, & a wee bit'o'cinnamon! OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day by day, I'm beginning to crave the good stuff again, and not so much the other stuff...& am getting stronger in resisting the bad cravings....{thank-you, Lord!}

Have a RAWSOME week!

Oh, yea, one more thing, I'm off to our church picnic tomorrow, please pray for me to be strong & stay raw, I begin the 30 days 100% raw challenge with RFT tomorrow, http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/index.html & I'm determined to STAY 100% & keep my commitment!!!

{Even if it means not going! But I really wanna go, so please pray with me!}

My bouncing baby girl!

2008-06-28T03:42:00.000-07:00

Here's my kangaroo kid on our rebounder out in our old front yard! It's been in storage sinse we moved, but just seeing this makes me miss it, it's time to make room in our apartment for it!

And here she is at her gym class, doin' what she loves to do!!

I can't wait till I can be even more active with her than I'm finally starting to be...in our new yard, there's lots to do, & I'm starting to get outside with her & move in the sunshine!

We have a little garden, a huge rasberry bush, apricot trees, and now a picnic table!

I love summer!!!

~Scrumptious Salad~

2008-06-28T03:03:00.000-07:00

Here's Hannah & I at church, tired, but having a joyful day!
I've been thinking lately about how we can get so affected sometimes by things, people, commercials, what's happening around us, whatever, & yeild to the temptation to put into our bodies things that were never created for food, things that we know harm, not heal us, & so easily set aside the things we've learned, & know with every fiber of our being, things like raw, whole foods are the best fuel for our bodies!

I watch the summer things happening in everyone around me, the "It's hot, I need ice cream!" or "I'm thirsty, water's boring, I want a POP!" & when I mention alternatives that will not only cool them off but make them feel better, it's almost like it's too simple, too bland for their taste buds...that a TREAT should involve sugar, chemicals, JUNK that is the 'forbidden' foods, & 'all things in moderation' becomes "I want it every day!"

I see how, when I've yeilded to this myself, I've taught my daughter to give in to her fleshly cravings, rather than resist & find a healthy alternative to what she's craving....it convicts me, & I don't want to ever teach her these things again. We're back to discovering how totally incredible sweet, juicy fruit is, making meals of mangoes, filling up from our exploding rasberry bushes, feasting on veggies & dip, making smoothies daily again!

I've just committed to 30 straight days of raw, starting July 1st, at Raw Food Talk, but I'm pretty much starting now, I'm already at about 80% again, & the more raw I eat just that, the more I want!

We had an incredible salad tonight, & we both marvelled at how wonderfully satisfied we were afterwards, & that we were too full to even eat the steamed veggies I also made (cuz she often wants cooked, too, not 'just veggies' for dinner...) It was so clear to me, by how much better I felt after eating it than after other things I've been eating lately, that my body is needing nothing but the real stuff! It's time, once again, to dive in head first!!!

And my computer AND camera is fixed, & soon, I'll be posting my first video, & yes, my before pics I've been promising for ages!

Hope you're all having wonderful adventures in your lives, your gardens, your daily walk toward wholeness, truth, & total joy!

God is good....ALL the time!!!!!

FINALLY!!!

2008-06-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm FINALLY back! Didja miss me? My computer's been down for over 2 weeks, & I didn't have access to this blog with the old SLOW tower I borrowed...
...& I'm back to RAW! Not quite 100%, but very close! & feeling better by the day! I hadn't weighed in for awhile, my scale needed batteries...when I finally got some, & weighed in again, I'd lost almost 10 more pounds! Woohoo!
It's been HOT outside, most days, but our new basement suite is soooo cool, I barely even ever have the fan on! It makes it so easy to exercise, I don't get overheated like I did last summer, even at night~ I'm working my way up to an hour a day, broken up as needed, but can usually go 15 minutes or more now at one time...I remember when I could only go for less than 5 minutes! {I'm working up the courage to go use the treadmill I have access to, don't know why I haven't, but it's time!}
I just got my order from the organic co-op, & got ten organic, delicious SWEET mangoes for only $14!!! (In honor of the mango's still waiting to be enjoyed, I've changed the background color to MANGO!)We had 3 for dinner the other night, they were soooo satisfying!!! Then we got a big organic cantelope & a honeydew melon for only $2.29 each at the health food store! YES, I said ORGANIC! I'm determined to find a way there weekly, & will set aside $ to get fresh produce regularly, no more throwing $ away on processed, take-out, canned, easy cheap foods! I love how the prices drop in the summer, how can we NOT be 100% raw?!?!?
I can't post pics until I find the disk to re-set up the Kodak Picture share program, but I'm determined to find it soon! I can take videos again on our camera, so as soon as I can download again, I'll FINALLY start posting some...it's definitely a week for FINALLY's! It's nice to be back!
I'm looking forward to hearing from you, & hearing how your summer's going so far...
Be blessed, not stressed!
{& drink some carrot juice, k?!?!}

~Back & forth, like a see-saw~

2008-05-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

Had a very emotional last few daze...had a nice visit with my sis, but other family stuff was very upsetting, & I didn't stay raw while she was here, she got KFC & popcorn & other junk & I allowed myself to indulge, & now feel like I've been hit by a truck....
...my head, tooth, & back hurt badly, I'm exhausted, & just want to do a fast to get back on track as quick as possible, but don't know if I'm up to it...we'll see how the day progresses....just finished oil pulling, & it's helped my tooth settle down, but I need to get it fixed soon!
I long to get to the place where no matter what's going on in my daily life, my commitment to doing what I know I need to do to get healthy is consistant & strong! I so much want to be there, & STAY there, but I guess I'm just not there yet...but I will persevere, & will NOT throw in the towel, as they say!
Been exercising more, stretching & using my hand weights, & getting out my physioball again, haven't been walking much (but could be on my feet longer than usual the last few times I went out!) or using the treadmill yet, but am hoping today I'll get organized & do that~
I long for the way it feels to wake up rested after a full night's sleep & have energy all through the day to do all that needs to be done...right now, I wanna crawl back into bed (just got up 2 hours ago!) but there are a ton of dirty dishes waiting for me, & the landlord wants to come over & fix some things, so I guess I better get dressed & get on with the day...wanna make a smoothie, but worried it'll aggrevate my toothache, so won't...wish I had some lemons, or stuff for the master cleanse...
...keep me in your prayers, please! I need His hand on my life, guiding & restoring me...I need complete RAWstoration!!!

~Cravings, Cravings, Cravings~

2008-05-16T14:32:00.000-07:00

Woke up today craving....are you ready for this??? OIL PULLING!!!! It's like my mouth, gums, teeth were saying, "Why did you STOP?!?!?!" So I went & found the organic cold pressed sesame oil, & am doing it now as I type...
...& after eating my big yummy salad yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about SPROUTS! Time to start growing them again!
We're working on getting the little garden patch in our new yard going, I have no clue how to do organic gardening here, & only have a little time to prepare before we need to plant!
I accidentally turned off the freezer last night, so I'm going to have to eat all my berries & frozen rhubarb today! It'll be a sweet smoothie day, for sure!
God has been so good to us lately, in so many ways! I just got hired to make a queen-sized quilt for some friends, I have no idea what I'm going to get paid, but I just got the $ to go get the supplies...because it's for friends, we have yet to discuss my commission...but I have a vision for it, & am excited to get started on it!
...& earlier, they offered to cover the costs of a trip to Vancouver for Hannah & I later on in the summer (we haven't been back sinse we moved almost 5 years ago!) so I have to have it done by then!
Ok, gotta go spit this oil out, talk to y'all tomorrow!
Keep walkin' in faith, one step at a time!
It's so georgous out, I'm aiming to get out in the sun & do some walking myself today...in faith, of course! *grin* & I hope to start using the treadmill daily now, as well! My sis is on her way for a visit, so gotta get things ready for that, too, & plan out a yummy raw menu!

Um, Hello again...(she says sheepishly...)

2008-05-15T14:38:00.000-07:00

What happened? Where DID the time go?!?!?! I kinda fell off the wagon, at first cuz i ran out produce & $, (the ends of the month are always the hardest, *sigh*) but then, once off, it's taken me awhile to fully climb back on & stay....so yup, I'm starting again today...crazy-gluin' my butt to the wagon right now!!!
Haven't weighted in yet, sinse then....shoud I go see? I don't WANT to!!! Ok, Ok, I will, just a sec...
*Gulp* Gained back a few...7, to be exact...was at 363, back up to 370...*SIGH*...well, at least it's not MORE, which I wouldn't have been too suprized by...I did eat more raw that I used to when I go off 100%, thank(s) God!
I tend towards all or nothing thinking/actions, but am learning more balance, & seeing that the more raw I eat the better I feel (duh!) even if not 100% raw, so it wasn't like previous slip-ups, where I just went right back to the SAD food I used to eat.
I have finally learned (& accepted!) that my body does NOT want meat, I can no longer properly digest it, for one thing...(rotton egg burps afterwards=not enough hydrocloric acid in the stomach to digest it, I believe) & my digestive system just shuts down afterwards, no more how much fiber I consume with it...(knowing it has no fiber) & also, I've realized that I crash & burn FASTER than I ever used to after too much sugar (which I used to be able to consume in VAST quantities, I confess!), in fact, I can predict that I'll be falling asleep within the hour after eating it, even when I'm not tired at all! SCARY! GOTTA go get those blood tests done, I know my blood sugars are outa whack!
Ok, enough of all that, I'm back, I'm raw, I'm ready to get on with it! Anybody still checkin' in on me??? Don't give up on me, please!
Soon I'll have a victorious testimony of ALL RAW has done for me, & I want you to share in the journey, & the celebrating!!!
K, I'm off to make a yummy green & berry smoothie! Who needs bananas? (Well, me, actually, but I'll make do!) Wanna join me?

~Watermelon 4 Breakfast~

2008-04-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

WATERMELON!!! It's replaced CHOCOLATE as my breakfast of choice!!!
I went to the health food store & was thrilled to discover that the cost of melons, berries, & lotsa other produce faves has come way down...I now have an abundance of everything!!! (Nice change from always runnin' outa money before the end of the month! Stayin' raw will be so much easier now!)
I LOVE spring! I feel like a blossoming garden coming outa hibernation, & though I've been experiencing some detox from moving back towards 100% raw, I still feel better by the day!
Ok, that's a LOTTA exclamation points!!!
Wish Biggest Loser wasn't over, it inspires me so much! I'm still so thrilled that a woman finally won!!! Jillian may be a big...make that LITTLE meanie, but she sure is effective!
Wish I could hire a trainer...or had a car to go the new women's only gym, or swimming in our city's pool that uses ozone & only a wee bit of chlorine! (Not that I have a bathing suit, or would wear one in public..yet!) Future goals! I'm determined to be driving again very soon!
I'm only down 2 lbs, but better down than up, right?!! & God has given me such a peace that this really is the year for my transformation to unfold in tangible, physical ways...
all the things He's been doing on the inside of my are finally beginning to be reflected on the outside...
...though still, the only one who's noticed is my nearly blind friend! (I guess the blur she sees is smaller...kinda like when ya squint to see things clearer, I guess that's why only she's noticed so far! Lol!)
Off to go make some watermelon juice! (Still have half a big one left!) & a big salad for dinner...yum! It's so amazing that I salivate for salads now! *grin*
Verse of the day..."Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS, & AGAIN, I say, REJOICE!"

~Settling in, Ready to Begin Again~

2008-04-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I turned 43 yesterday! Hannah threw me a fun surprise party...an outdoor picnic, but it SNOWED the day before, & was sooooo cold yesterday, so we didn't finish outdoors!
I was given 43 gifts, (she's so sweet, she got everyone in on it! Even the kitties & her favorite stuffies!) & one of them was a plate fulla raw treats, as well as a raw recipe book! Woohoo!
I've been only about 60-75% raw, & feeling the difference, big time, so it's time to get back on track! I've been reading more & more about juice feasting, & am seriously eager to pursue this, I've been feeling rather toxic lately (having to take painkillers, & I have a cold right now) & am eager to get back to improving by the day!
I figured out that the last 12+ pounds that left my body (when I'd expected to have gained, or just stayed the same, based on my lack of exercise & eating too many unhealthy foods) happened shortly after when I 'd begun to ingest a few tablespoons of coconut oil a day! (As well as more consistant oil pulling...hmmm...)
The more I've read about coconut oils, the more impressed I am with their benefits. Some brands definately taste better than others, though! The one I love just off the spoon is from Omenga Nutrition, the best deal on the one I use for my skin & any cooking Hannah does is by Wilderness Family Naturals. I'll try to post some links later to the articles about the benefits of organic virgin coconut oil, when I dig them out.
I finally have my living room set up to exercise! Even with this yucky cold affecting my breathing, & how fatigued I still am, I begin again today! & my upstairs neighbour has an electric treadmill in the laundryroom & is willing to let me use it, so today's the day I start on that, too! And when it warms up a bit, the daily walks are going to happen, as well!
{Hold me accountable, people! *grin* }

~Craving simplicity~

2008-04-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

Moving is such a wonderful new beginning! It has me doing some major spring cleaning, in my home, & in my body...I've been craving simple mono meals, & simpler salads than usual. I'm serviously contemplating a juice fast, but wish I could afford to do a juice feast! As soon as I have grocery $ again, I plan on getting started!
Finally weighed in yesterday, & was suprized that I've lost the weight I'd re-gained, & then some...when I went shopping the other day, it was actually a little easier to walk, & be on my feet as long as it took.
I still have yet to begin my daily walking program, but my upstairs neighbour has allowed me to share use of her beautiful electric treadmill, which I hope to get going on today, while doing laundry!
God has been so good to us, in so many ways,& I'm overwhelmed at times with thankfulness for all His ways of guiding & providing~
May you be increasingly aware each day of His merciful lovingkindness, & His power to heal & restore!

~Home Sweet, Sweet Home~

2008-04-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

Here we are in our sweet little basement suite, lovin' it! We both feel soooo at home here, & know this is where we belong! The only glitch is, we couldn't get Hannah's piano down the stairs & around the corner, so it's sitting in the carport, tarped, waiting for a buyer!
I totally fell off the raw wagon during the last week or so of packing, & sinse moving in...I've still had a fair amount of raw, but nowhere near 100%, like I aim to be...& boy, am I feeling it! Not to mention regretting it, but I just had so little free time or energy to do food prep, & people kept showing up with McD's & ordering pizza!
Now I know I gotta plan better & be prepared for QUICK raw meals next time something so stressful & time consuming is going on in my life...live & learn...
I've been quite exhausted sinse the move,{& have been needing painkillers to sleep, & cuz of a major toothache!) but not as bad as last time, when I had my first MS symptoms after moving, a year ago...(couldn't hardly walk for 3 weeks, among other things...)
I'm trying to GENTLY push myself to get doing more, but still haven't got a whole lot accomplished...have a meeting tonight, & things to do all week, so no more hibernating...will weigh in one of these daze soon (just unpacked the scale) & am hoping to start taking daily walks with Hannah ASAP! My legs feel like they're made of cement, though, still, so it ain't goona be far, at first!
Anyways, sorry for dissapearing on y'all...I'm back, & back to raw!
Off to make a big smoothie for a late breakfast! Have a wonderful spring week!

~His good, & acceptable & PERFECT will~

2008-03-18T00:26:00.000-07:00

Life has been such a roller-coaster lately! I'm so swamped with packing, & making all the arrangements for moving, but thought I'd come update y'all! {Anyone still reading???}
I'd found a basement to rent, not too bad, a fireplace, even, good location, but high rent for what it was...so I took the place (& the Landlord chose us over 40 others that wanted it...)but a few days later, I went to talk with the tenant who lives there now, after realizing the Lordlord only told me about 2 of the 3 neighbours (& not about the one who lives above the suite!)
I'm so glad I went & asked questions, the people upstairs are MAJOR noisy partiers, leave bottles everywhere, have a booming stereo on at all hours, people over all weekend, & there's cigarette smoke coming in through the vents (which I strongly react to!)
So I called the landlord, discussed it with him, & asked for one night to pray it through & decide what to do...as I was praying that night, struggling, knowing it would be stressful to deal with neighbours like that, but also acutely aware of how few affordable places are available here, I could feel the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit, asking, "Will you trust Me?"
Of course, with my spirit, I cried out, "Yes!" but still, I struggled with the fear that there would be no other place for us to move to, with the shortage, & it already being the middle of the month, almost!Also, it's the only place we've ever found we could (almost) afford that has a fireplace, & Hannah's wanted one sinse she was 2!
Then, the verse that talks about knowing the good, the acceptable, & the PERFECT will of God came to mind...& the Lord showed me that the first place we looked at was good...but we didn't get it...the 2nd place was (just) acceptable...but would I trust Him to lead us into His PERFECT will?
So I surrendered...& the next day, I called & let that place go...then, my friend told me about a place she'd mentioned before that I hadn't considered because it only has one bedroom...but something told me to re-consider...
So we went to look at it....& it's soooo PERFECT for us! & it's OURS! I just signed a year's lease!!! It's everything we BOTH wanted, & more! Here's the bonuses:
~ a GAS fireplace (no dealing with wood, smoke...we'll ventilate to keep the gas out of the air, & it's BEAUTIFUL, like new! {The other one had broken stones, was old, etc.}
~A BIG rasberry bush!!!
My ABSALUTE FAVORITE FRUIT!!! (ORGANIC, TOO!)
~ A cherry tree & a grape vine! (Yes, organic!)
~A big cold room to store produce in, so I can stock up to be able to STAY raw, & not have a litchen fulla fruit flies!
~They're willing to take the stove out, & I'll just get a hotplate for Hannah's occasional use, maybe a toaster over...so more counter space!
~TWO kitchen sinks!!! (I'm sooo weary of doing dishes in one, & trying to teach Hannah to without making a mess or wasting a ton of water!)
~ A BIG yard, even a little platform in a tree where hannah can drag up a blanket, pillow, & some books for a sunny afternoon of reading!
~The most amazing thing is it's less than a block from the place we just lived for 4 years, before where we are now...& it's the house Hannah used to dream about one day living in, used to lay on their grassy hill, & think about what it was like inside...I remember she was so upset when a "For Sale" sign appeared on the lawn, she came to me & asked if there was any possible way we could buy it! {She was concerned the new owners wouldn't be so nice & let her lay on their lawn!} It's owned by a Christian homeschooling family we've met a few times in the H-school support meetings...{it used to be owned by their mom, who was the lady so nice to Hannah!}
There are so many other benefits, & things we love about it...we're both in AWE at God's provision, & how He knew the desires of our hearts, & how ALL of them are being met here! It's so supportive of all my goals for getting healthy, good neighbourhood to walk in, even a big electric treadmill in the laundryroom we share with the lady & her son upstairs that I'm hoping I'll be able to use!
~And there's even a shed to keep our bikes in rather than the hall! {Well, Hannah's bike, but I want to get one soon, & start riding again! Likely can once I'm down another 75-100 lbs or so!}

~Surrendering~

2008-03-09T14:12:00.000-07:00

it's been very unsettling, not knowing where we'll be moving, even which city our new home'll be in...much as we love being here, & would like to stay, it may be that the only door that opens in where my sis lives...(the door to Vancouver seems to have closed...for now?)
I've been losing too much sleep over it, & allowing myself to have conversations about it coming from a place of fear, but I KNOW that God has a place for us, & will lead me there, if I just seek, ask, wait...so that's what I've been doing...surrendering....again.
God's been bringing things to the surface, peeling back more layers of my life, getting down to the core...{I love how the Holy Spirit is called "the counsellor", & "the comforter"...He really has been mine!} I've been facing my feeling of being 'homeless' since I left home at 12, wandering, never one place more than a few years, often way less than that...the first time I ever really felt at home was when I married, but not even 6 years later, I was a single mom, on my own with a newborn, starting over.
It's kinda like how it's been with my health...facing things, starting over, healing in layers...as I'm going deeper, as He's healing me more, I'm feeling all the feelings I numbed out for years with comfort foods, & my heart feels so RAW (ok, pun intended!) & vulnerable & yet more open than before to going deeper...but still, cautious.
I love how, when I stay 100% raw, I feel stronger, not just physically, but emotionally, day by day...I haven't exactly felt it's opposite (weak) but more just quite careful who I'm too open with (I've always tended towards being too open, sharing too much, & still have a hard time curbing that, so I've been more selective of who I leave myself vulnerable to...)
I'm able to speak the truth in love more...not just blurt it out, only thinking of what I need to say, & forgetting about the other person's feelings...I feel more alive, the more I eat living, whole foods...more compassionate to others & the struggles they face, knowing how much going raw would help them, yet knowing that changing eating habits is almost as tough for most folks as changing their religion!
All this is really just trying to say that, though I've been struggling lately to stay raw, (financially, & emotionally) as soon as I return to it, I see the huge difference it makes to my life in so many ways, {& so quickly, too!} & learn, once more, that this really is God's highest will for me, for my health's RAWstoration, & for my future! I can't see ever goin' back!!! So even though I gained a few pounds back the last week or so, only being partially raw, it's ok, I'm back in the saddle again!
{And one day I'll be light enough to go ride a real horse with Hannah! That's my goal for hopefully next summer/fall!}

~Pain, pain, walking in the rain~

2008-03-05T19:48:00.000-08:00

Been struggling, financially, & sometimes emotionally the last few daze, to stay 100% raw....am eating as much raw as I can...
...One day my pain is managable, the next, it's all I can do to get through the day, getting barely anything done, yet so much to do...feeling stressed about moving, talked with my landlord today, no way I can extend it another month. Am considering leaving my beloved hometown, to either the Edmonton area, where my sis & her family is, or back to the coast, where the rain is too plentious...I actually moved there cuz I love the rain, but after 7 years there before my marriage, & 7 years after, it's hard to imagine givinng up the sunshine here....but there are other things there drawing me back...lotsa praying to do, not much time left to decide...
....I made some yummy applesauce today, & am in awe at how much better organic cinnamon tastes compared to the typical kind...it's ALIVE with flavor!!! Haven't had much appetite (which is good, with how little prodice I have left! Lol!) but I've really been craving watermelon lately, & avacadoes with salsa on them!
If you're a pray-er, please keep me in your prayers, for strength & healing in my legs, so I can keep packing, sorting, weeding out, & for wisdom & discernment about where God wants us...we both would rather stay here, but know it may be time to move away.
Eat healthy, real food, move, get some shunshine, as Hannah used to call it, & have a good sleep, k?

Where Else Would I Go?

2008-03-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

I was just commenting on Shannon's blog, (yes she's posting again, doing a 30 day raw challenge with her daughter! Go pop over for a visit! The link is off to the side here on my blog...) & she was saying she'd never give up on Raw Living! {Which I know is true...}
My response to her was that it was kinda like when Jesus asked the disciples, "Will you, too, leave me?" (after those that followed Him only for the miracles, & the 'free meal' left).
Once He's made clear {especially by the evidence of what actually happens in us when we 'go raw'!} that He created us to live on the things HE made for food (& not man's poor imitations) how can we return to just following our carnal cravings, our appetite that can & often does go against common sense, evidence, & the fruit of the spirit of self-control?
Food is created to nourish & strengthen us, & is obviously good, & necessary...
...(occasional, special occasion) feasting is God's idea {as well as seasons of fasting!} but gluttony is clearly sin, because it's destructive to our bodies, created to glorify Him, & be the temple of His Holy Spirit.
I'm beginning to see indulging in junk food as gluttony, whether I overeat or not, knowing that it's tearing down what Raw Living has been building up, & that it's all about what my flesh wants, & my flesh nature determining my choices, not my spirit, & my will, submitted to His revealed will.
The Bible says we're to have moderation in all things...I'm not a vegan for moral reasons (aside from hating the way most animals raised for consumption are treated!) because God said everything He created for food, not to call unclean...yes, there are unclean meats that are very destructive to the body...for example, pork, which has been proven to cause the same changes in your cells that cancer does! (& knowing it HAS to be FULLY cooked or the little white worms often found in it will survive is just GROSS!) & all crustaceans, which eat the garbage off the bottom of the ocean...God knows why certain foods are harmful, & warned against them, long before the science behind His reasons was ever discovered!
Meat was eaten in the Bible...but on rare occasions...it was in small amounts (not the main course!) & I've learned that back then meat was around 5% fat...now it's 45% or more! & kosher meat was drained of the blood for a reason..."the life is in the blood", as are diseases, etc. Perhaps that occasional use of small amounts of meat prevented any B12 issues, or anemia, without them needing to have access to all the info/science we have now to know the possible deficiencies on a raw diet.
Grains were eaten, yes, but weren't heavily sprayed, as now...bread was called, "The staff of life" but was often sprouted, & again, not full of pesticides, etc. The soil had so many more nutrients in it back then (even a hundred years ago) that I don't think I'd attempt to do this without eating as much organic as possible!
All this is just to say that I will never return to my old way of eating...how could I? God has placed me in this incredible garden, and said, "THIS is what I've given you for food."
How could I now say, "No, Father, I want to fuel my body with GARBAGE, all these yummy imitation things! I don't want to think about the consequences!"
It would be like when the Israelites complained about missing garlic & onions when God brought them out of Egypt (which represents the world system) & got bored with Manna, the perfect, complete food God provided for them daily! Or when they lusted & longed after meat, & so God filled the sky with quail, & they ate so much, they DIED!
How could I ever really be bored with all He's made for food??? I could eat a different fruit or vegetable every day of my life & STILL not have tasted them all! (Of course it would require shopping in some international markets...if I didn't know they use pesticides we've banned here, I would do that more often!)
I have no choice now but to think about the consequences of everything I put into this vehicle I live in...the consequences of all my foolish choices have caught up with me, & if I don't continue to change, & follow God's ways, rather than my own, I will definitely shorten the time I get to be here to serve Him & others.
So, even when I struggle, or yeild to my old appetites, I will just quickly return to fueling my body the way God planned, & allow Him to heal me more, one day at a time...
...& this is what I wish for you, Shannon, & all my other fellow Rawbies!
As Christians, the Bible says we've been bought & paid for with a price, & we are no longer only our own! So let's allow our lives to reflect that we know who we belong to, & that our hearts are set to obey the owner's instructions on how to care for His temple!
And for those that don't yet know Him as Father, & Jesus as Lord, He loves you, He made you, & He's here for you! Do you hear Him calling your name?

~Fate vs Faith~

2008-02-28T14:45:00.000-08:00

Someone asked a question over at RFT about fate...it got me thinking about how this relates to our dealing with health issues...all of the responses were basically New Age, I shared my Christian persepective on it, (hoping I haven't offended, or stepped on toes...no responses to it yet...)& am now thinking about how what I believe affects my health.
First of all, here's the post I'm referring to:
http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/showthread.php?t=38437
{My comment's on the bottom of the 1st page...}
It's when I truly repented for my gluttony & slothfulness that things truly began to change. I tried many times, in my own efforts, to be consistant, & do what I needed to do, but only when I saw it for the sin it was to be digging my own grave with my fork, defiling & destroying my body with my habits that I was filled with the fruit of the Spirit of Self-control.
When I was a New Ager, much as I believed the "I created it", & "I manifested it because...", still, I was able to justify & excuse all sorts of things, & didn't ever really take full responsibility for the consequences of my choices & actions...{pretty easy to avoid when you believe in karma & past lives!}
When my actions affected mainly ME in my thinking, (not a Holy God I was accountable to, or others, as my brother's keeper) it was very difficult to truly change...now I believe that, much as we can change certain outward things, only God can change {transform, heal, restore,} our hearts & lives to true wholeness...when we co-operate, & are willing to see things through His eyes, rather than only our own limited perspective.
Anyways, I'm beginning to fully trust (& experience!) that my weight & health problems will be overcome by His grace & power in me to do what He sets before me each day to do...one day at a time!
"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"...
...& "Without Him, I can do NOTHING!"