Don't get me wrong! I love my family, &, aside from a cold goin' from one of us to the other, & a rock hard bed, (Until I finally dragged a foamie out to put on top) & not enough sleep, it's been a great visit!
But holy canolies, Batman, it's been sooooo hard to stay vegan, let alone raw, when there's meat at almost every meal, & lotsa yummy stuff I used to eat surrounding me, tempting me with smells, sights, when serving it to others, doing the dishes, clearing the table...yummy, good quality stuff I used to love to eat!
So I must confess, my dear readers, that I have not been 100% raw sinse arriving...not even 1 full day...close, on some days, not so close on others...they are planning a big Thanksgiving feast tomorrow, & that's it, it'll be my 'last supper', the 'Famous Final Feast" (rather than Bob Seger's old, "Famous Final Scene") & then I'm running back into the arms of raw, never to wander down this crazy twisting turning road of compromise again!
Would you like to know what not even 2 weeks of cooked food has done to me?
~Not sleeping well at all! Due to all-over FM pain back pretty much fully-force, digestion issues, weird dreams, {& a headache going on 3 days now that definately feels chemical-induced!}
~Carpal tunnel syndrome in BOTH wrists acting up big time, as well as old arthritic pains in my knuckles, joints & especially my hips. {Walking, & climbing the stairs has become very slow & painful, almost like I weigh what I used to again! Not eager to get home & weigh in....have been stretching & doing some walking & stuff, but not near enough!}
~Very low energy, moodier, tired all day, grumpy, reactive, with lots more brain fog!
~ Sinus congestion, fighting off a cold, Hannah got a pretty bad one, whereas when raw, or high raw, she's been able to be around sick kids & not get sick at all!
~Skin is dry, itchy, & my rash on my scalp that was almost healed is back full force!
Constipated (TMI, I know!) & forgetting to drink enough water, seem to have lost my sense of thirst! (Been getting back pains, like my kidney's are being affected again, so am forcing myself to carry it around with me again so I can sip on it thru the day....)
~& here's a fun one! My morning breath AND pits STINK again!!! (not to mention my poops! Did ya notice that when you're raw, ya don't stink up the bathroom!?!?!)
On the other hand, I have been making smoothies & either a big salad, or veggies & dip almost daily, & snacking on fruit as much as possible...it's hard when we're out running around, a few times, I've brought enough food for me, but all the kids are hungry, (my sis has 3, & Hannah) so I end up sharing, then not getting enough calories in, then losing my willpower as the day progresses, then eating cooked, junk, at places where there ARE no healthy choices! & Often, we've gotten home STARVING & just eating the quick meal that's been thrown together!
I've also made a big blender of smoothie numerous times, & often the kids want to drink it all with me, so I'm getting a cup, maybe 2, rather than a blenderful, as I usually do...(Which is wonderful ,I want them to eat more produce! But then I don't get enough, & rather than doing all involved in making another one (especially with my carpal tunnel syndrome acting up!) I just eat something else....but the smoothies help stop cravings, & are so nourishing, it's soooooooo much harder to resist temptation without starting my day with them!
...but with all that's going on, I'm not doing too bad, & I refuse to get all down on myself for allowing myself to go down this carnivorous road again.... rather than made me want the old, unhealthy foods I once lived off of even more, I'm very eager to get back on track, & it's somehow renewed my commitment, & shown me once again the incredible healing power of the body God's given us when fueled with the things he created for food...
...& above all else, it's given me such an appreciation for what eating raw has done for my health! I can't believe how, after just over a week of allowing things in my diet I haven't eaten in many months, so many of my health problems have returned! An excellent object lesson...one I'm eager to never repeat again!
& the biggest thing I've learned is how much easier it is to stay raw when you're not constantly surrounded by cooked food!
I'm sorry if I've seemed glib in acting like it's easy...I mean, once I made up my mind to just do it, I was able to do it, with very little struggling...but I had Hannah's support, & until she went raw with me, if she wanted something non-raw, she made it herself, so I wasn't tempted to break raw...
...here, I'm constantly surrounded by temptation....harder to handle when I'm over-tired, in pain, & not always having access to what I'm used to that has helped me stay raw. Please know I have a LOT more compassion on those committed to raw while surrounded by cooked!!!
Anyways, the moral of the story is RAW IS BEST!!! & I can't wait to get home & get stronger in it, so the next time we visit, I will STAY 100% raw!!! No matter what!!!
When we get back, a few days later, we're heading to Vancouver, & we get to go visit "Gorilla Foods" our first raw cafe! We're only going for 6 or 7 days, so I'm determined to stay 100%! In fact, after tomorrow's dinner I'm back to 100%, as well as some much-needed detox!!!
STAY raw!
It's SOOOOO NOT worth breaking it,
no matter the circumstances!!!!
(I wish I'd come re-read September 12th's Blog entry before coming here!)
October 12, 2008
October 05, 2008
~Sorry for dissapearin' on ya!~
I've been so busy with trying to keep up with the RawFu challenge, as well as getting back to homeschooling, & right now we're on holidays at my sister's & her family's in Alberta...so I've just been goin' non-stop lately, as well as not having as much time online as I used to!
I've been really in awe at the changes in my body that shedding the weight I have so far has made! I went to the wave pool with everyone the other day, & had a blast, & though I felt a little self-conscious in shorts in public for the first time in many years, I decided to just put my focus on how I felt, not how I looked, & especially on how good it felt to get in the water again & swim!
The shorts I brought were waaaaaay too small last time I wore them, tight & too short, but when I put them on they fit GREAT, very close to too big! It was such a pleasant suprise!
I LOVE to swim, & it was so fun to do that with Hannah again, & I decided that when we get home I'm going to look into joining the Y, (or whatever pool has ozone rather than chlorine) so we can begin swimming on a regular basis, it felt so incredible! (After we go to Vancouver for a visit first, from Oct. 20th to the 27th...)
Also, my sis has a little mini gym, & tomorrow I begin working out on a daily basis ( I've had to recover from the 11 hour bus ride, & the 7 hours of swimming the next day first!), using her elyptical trainer, recumbant bike, rebounder, weights & weight bench.
I'm having a lot more strength, endurance, & balance when I move now, especially if I'm getting enough sleep, & staying 100% raw. (I have been for the most part, but was up too late last night, & didn't stay 100% today...or the day before....but I totally regret what little cooked food I had, & have paid the price, & won't be going there again....in fact, I believe the Lord is calling me to fast awhile, & I hope to begin tomorrow or Tuesday. I was considering doing the Master Cleanse, but can't afford to go get all the ingredients...}
...what else is new? Not a whole lot, & I can barely keep my eyes open right now anyways, after dinner, with some cooked food that is churning in my tummy, so that's all for now!
Time to go do some stretching, have a shower, & go to bed early!
Hope you're all doin' RAWsomely!
Keep on progressing towards your best health ever!!!
{One day at a time, right?}
I've been really in awe at the changes in my body that shedding the weight I have so far has made! I went to the wave pool with everyone the other day, & had a blast, & though I felt a little self-conscious in shorts in public for the first time in many years, I decided to just put my focus on how I felt, not how I looked, & especially on how good it felt to get in the water again & swim!
The shorts I brought were waaaaaay too small last time I wore them, tight & too short, but when I put them on they fit GREAT, very close to too big! It was such a pleasant suprise!
I LOVE to swim, & it was so fun to do that with Hannah again, & I decided that when we get home I'm going to look into joining the Y, (or whatever pool has ozone rather than chlorine) so we can begin swimming on a regular basis, it felt so incredible! (After we go to Vancouver for a visit first, from Oct. 20th to the 27th...)
Also, my sis has a little mini gym, & tomorrow I begin working out on a daily basis ( I've had to recover from the 11 hour bus ride, & the 7 hours of swimming the next day first!), using her elyptical trainer, recumbant bike, rebounder, weights & weight bench.
I'm having a lot more strength, endurance, & balance when I move now, especially if I'm getting enough sleep, & staying 100% raw. (I have been for the most part, but was up too late last night, & didn't stay 100% today...or the day before....but I totally regret what little cooked food I had, & have paid the price, & won't be going there again....in fact, I believe the Lord is calling me to fast awhile, & I hope to begin tomorrow or Tuesday. I was considering doing the Master Cleanse, but can't afford to go get all the ingredients...}
...what else is new? Not a whole lot, & I can barely keep my eyes open right now anyways, after dinner, with some cooked food that is churning in my tummy, so that's all for now!
Time to go do some stretching, have a shower, & go to bed early!
Hope you're all doin' RAWsomely!
Keep on progressing towards your best health ever!!!
{One day at a time, right?}
September 23, 2008
Raw-stored Creativity!~
I've finished the bags I've been working on that were commissioned, & there's also 2 new ones seeking loving homes, posted on my sewing blog! & they have fruit on 'em, just for us Raw Foodists!
(Posted here: http://sewthankful.blogspot.com/ }
We love 'em both, & wish we could keep 'em, but maybe they're meant for you?!?
I'm so amazed lately that, even with more on my plate than usual, & feeling rather overloaded, I'm getting a lot more accomplished than I used to, the longer I'm raw......my procrastinating ways & my fatigue are far less than before,& my millions of half-done projects are, one by one, actually getting done!
It's not like sewing is a physically taxing thing to do, & I LOVE to create things out of fabric, but for years, I've limped along, with a hundred half-done projects......has anyone else had raw bring their creativity back to life? It's been a wonderful, unexpected side-affect!
Awhile back, I was really panicking about the summer ending, knowing the prices of produce will be going through the roof again, & was worried I wouldn't able to afford to stay raw...& I'd gain back the 60+ pounds I've released, & all my health problems would come racing back, one by one...
...but after praying about it, I calmed down & realized that, even though I'm still on dissability, & still can't work full-time, I can do this now!
Eventually, (hopefully soon!) I'll be off dissability & be fully self-employed, still able to homeschool Hannah, & doing the things I love to do every day, no longer struggling just to keep food in the house...(Sewing, quilting, massage, music, writing, & helping others learn about & live the raw lifestyle!...& whatever else I'm called to do!!!)
So if you're interested in either of the new bags posted on Sew Thankful, or even a different one you'ld like me to make for you, e-mail me at mailto:stazia@telus.net {I take requests! *grin*}
I'm SEW THANKFUL for all who've shared this journey with me, & celebrated my little successes along the way!
& even if you aren't interested in bags, (or whatever else I sew & post) I'd love & appreciate any & all feedback & constructive criticism you might have on them!
Have a wonderfully creative & healthy day!!!
(Posted here: http://sewthankful.blogspot.com/ }
We love 'em both, & wish we could keep 'em, but maybe they're meant for you?!?
I'm so amazed lately that, even with more on my plate than usual, & feeling rather overloaded, I'm getting a lot more accomplished than I used to, the longer I'm raw......my procrastinating ways & my fatigue are far less than before,& my millions of half-done projects are, one by one, actually getting done!
It's not like sewing is a physically taxing thing to do, & I LOVE to create things out of fabric, but for years, I've limped along, with a hundred half-done projects......has anyone else had raw bring their creativity back to life? It's been a wonderful, unexpected side-affect!
Awhile back, I was really panicking about the summer ending, knowing the prices of produce will be going through the roof again, & was worried I wouldn't able to afford to stay raw...& I'd gain back the 60+ pounds I've released, & all my health problems would come racing back, one by one...
...but after praying about it, I calmed down & realized that, even though I'm still on dissability, & still can't work full-time, I can do this now!
Eventually, (hopefully soon!) I'll be off dissability & be fully self-employed, still able to homeschool Hannah, & doing the things I love to do every day, no longer struggling just to keep food in the house...(Sewing, quilting, massage, music, writing, & helping others learn about & live the raw lifestyle!...& whatever else I'm called to do!!!)
So if you're interested in either of the new bags posted on Sew Thankful, or even a different one you'ld like me to make for you, e-mail me at mailto:stazia@telus.net {I take requests! *grin*}
I'm SEW THANKFUL for all who've shared this journey with me, & celebrated my little successes along the way!
& even if you aren't interested in bags, (or whatever else I sew & post) I'd love & appreciate any & all feedback & constructive criticism you might have on them!
Have a wonderfully creative & healthy day!!!
September 16, 2008
~Biggest Loser New Season Starts Tonight!!!!~
Much as the show's title offended me, at first (kinda reeked of fat-prejudice, like it's calling all obese people losers...) still, I love the show...& I am now in competition with them!
Forgot to weigh in today, I will again in the morning, & though I know their initial big losses are a lotta water, & I'm past that point, I want to see how much my weight loss increases with more exercise!It's time to turn it up a notch! A BIG notch!!!
So every week, I'll be following along & tracking my progress with theirs, & each week will continue working out while we watch! (On top of my daily workout!)
My first exercise goal is 1 hour minimum a day, breaking a sweat, pushing myself to aim towards doing the whole hour non-stop ASAP...right now I can go longer than before, but still not very long...
...& I've 'hired' Hannah to be my personal trainer...to get me outa bed (instead of lettin' me sleep in cuz I haven't been able to sleep til dawn!) & set up the equipment, & get me goin' on a workout 1st thing (after time with the Lord, & half an hour online...I wake up sloooooow!) EVERY SINGLE DAY, 6 DAYS A WEEK!
& once I'm used to that I'll continue to increase my time......I know that RAW is going to keep the scale moving, but I'm finally accepting that physical exercise is crucial, & the missing component of my health's rawstoration...
...at first, with just raw & a little walking, stretching, & occasional hand-weights, I was feeling better by the day...but lately, I've been sluggish, & craving movement but hurting more as I've slowed down again...& too tired to do much...
...really, I confess part of me was stalling & just waiting for Biggest Loser to start to begin really pushing myself again!!! & I'm soooo glad it's finally time! It felt great to exercise 'for real' again tonight!
They did a 'real age evaluation' on the contestants, & it was shocking! I've read all about that, even done an online "your real age' test, but SEEING the fat around the heart, the lungs, the stomach, & hearing what that does to the body, & how it ages you, was quite MOTIVATING!!!
One guy there (who also has 299+ lbs to shed) is 51, but his biological age was 79, I believe...when I did the online test (a very thorough one!) mine was right around there, too...
(...it was at my highest weight, & part of what got me seeking answers & ready to tackle my health issues again...)...
...the Dr. restricted him to half an hour of exercise a day...his sweet daughter pushed herself hard & got them immunity! & he still lost 28 pounds! That's a LOT of water weight to lose in one week!(& some fat, too, of course!)
I hope he makes it, he needs to be there the most!
Anyways, I just want to challenge all of you to challenge yourself to MOVE MORE!!!!
Even if weight loss isn't a goal of yours, movement is sooooo important!!!
I regret the years I've allowed myself to slow down more & more, & it's time to reverse this!
We were created to MOVE!
Forgot to weigh in today, I will again in the morning, & though I know their initial big losses are a lotta water, & I'm past that point, I want to see how much my weight loss increases with more exercise!It's time to turn it up a notch! A BIG notch!!!
So every week, I'll be following along & tracking my progress with theirs, & each week will continue working out while we watch! (On top of my daily workout!)
My first exercise goal is 1 hour minimum a day, breaking a sweat, pushing myself to aim towards doing the whole hour non-stop ASAP...right now I can go longer than before, but still not very long...
...& I've 'hired' Hannah to be my personal trainer...to get me outa bed (instead of lettin' me sleep in cuz I haven't been able to sleep til dawn!) & set up the equipment, & get me goin' on a workout 1st thing (after time with the Lord, & half an hour online...I wake up sloooooow!) EVERY SINGLE DAY, 6 DAYS A WEEK!
& once I'm used to that I'll continue to increase my time......I know that RAW is going to keep the scale moving, but I'm finally accepting that physical exercise is crucial, & the missing component of my health's rawstoration...
...at first, with just raw & a little walking, stretching, & occasional hand-weights, I was feeling better by the day...but lately, I've been sluggish, & craving movement but hurting more as I've slowed down again...& too tired to do much...
...really, I confess part of me was stalling & just waiting for Biggest Loser to start to begin really pushing myself again!!! & I'm soooo glad it's finally time! It felt great to exercise 'for real' again tonight!
They did a 'real age evaluation' on the contestants, & it was shocking! I've read all about that, even done an online "your real age' test, but SEEING the fat around the heart, the lungs, the stomach, & hearing what that does to the body, & how it ages you, was quite MOTIVATING!!!
One guy there (who also has 299+ lbs to shed) is 51, but his biological age was 79, I believe...when I did the online test (a very thorough one!) mine was right around there, too...
(...it was at my highest weight, & part of what got me seeking answers & ready to tackle my health issues again...)...
...the Dr. restricted him to half an hour of exercise a day...his sweet daughter pushed herself hard & got them immunity! & he still lost 28 pounds! That's a LOT of water weight to lose in one week!(& some fat, too, of course!)
I hope he makes it, he needs to be there the most!
Anyways, I just want to challenge all of you to challenge yourself to MOVE MORE!!!!
Even if weight loss isn't a goal of yours, movement is sooooo important!!!
I regret the years I've allowed myself to slow down more & more, & it's time to reverse this!
We were created to MOVE!
September 12, 2008
~When Temptations Come~
Ok, first of all, I know God has called me to go 100% raw for my health's restoration. The goal is not perfection with it...I know I'm not to elevate this way of eating higher than it ought to be, or give it more attention or focus or time than it needs...but if He has called me to it, I know He has also provided (& will provide) all I need to see this through....
...so when I am tempted to break raw, I have a choice to make...it doesn't control me, I have free will, & I can just allow my cravings, my flesh-nature, my appetites to dictate what I do, or I can allow God's Spirit in me to lead, guide, strengthen & help me...
...tonight, finally having my period again (raw is healing my PCOS!), cravings for pizza & wings hit me like a ton of bricks...
{...not that I even have money to order, but I confess I was tempted to take some from the phone bill money...}
...but I just kinda observed myself, as I turned my focus towards ordering, & eating, & watched where my thoughts went...
....& then when I turned to God for guidance & help, I also watched my thoughts....& I realized something really interesting...
...I saw that the strength of the 'craving' directly correlated to where I allowed my thought to focus...
...& that the only time the craving felt overwhelming was when I totally shut out thoughts of God, & put them on what my flesh wanted...
...so simple...so clear....
...& the moment I turned to Him, He carried me through to the other side.
Something tells me that the struggle has ended. If I choose to eat something not raw, it will now be a conscious choice, not a yeilding to overwhelming cravings I feel can't be handled or resisted.
I know that there may be occasions where I'll be led, as the Bible says, to"Eat what's put before me with thanksgiving", (when it's not appropriate to say no...) or when non-raw is all that's available...
....but in the meantime, even when I'm not as excited about raw, even when I have moments of being tired of it, or bored with it, or old cravings get triggered again, I will just remember this night, & pray for help & strength, & allow Him to help me get & keep my focus back where it belongs, so I can walk on in obedience.
He'd never have asked me to do it if He wasn't able to see me through it!
...so when I am tempted to break raw, I have a choice to make...it doesn't control me, I have free will, & I can just allow my cravings, my flesh-nature, my appetites to dictate what I do, or I can allow God's Spirit in me to lead, guide, strengthen & help me...
...tonight, finally having my period again (raw is healing my PCOS!), cravings for pizza & wings hit me like a ton of bricks...
{...not that I even have money to order, but I confess I was tempted to take some from the phone bill money...}
...but I just kinda observed myself, as I turned my focus towards ordering, & eating, & watched where my thoughts went...
....& then when I turned to God for guidance & help, I also watched my thoughts....& I realized something really interesting...
...I saw that the strength of the 'craving' directly correlated to where I allowed my thought to focus...
...& that the only time the craving felt overwhelming was when I totally shut out thoughts of God, & put them on what my flesh wanted...
...so simple...so clear....
...& the moment I turned to Him, He carried me through to the other side.
Something tells me that the struggle has ended. If I choose to eat something not raw, it will now be a conscious choice, not a yeilding to overwhelming cravings I feel can't be handled or resisted.
I know that there may be occasions where I'll be led, as the Bible says, to"Eat what's put before me with thanksgiving", (when it's not appropriate to say no...) or when non-raw is all that's available...
....but in the meantime, even when I'm not as excited about raw, even when I have moments of being tired of it, or bored with it, or old cravings get triggered again, I will just remember this night, & pray for help & strength, & allow Him to help me get & keep my focus back where it belongs, so I can walk on in obedience.
He'd never have asked me to do it if He wasn't able to see me through it!
September 06, 2008
My Sister's Keeper....
Yesterday was an absalutely wonderfully amazing day!!!
First, got woken to the doorbell early this morning, after not even 5 hours sleep, it was my friend, bringing me a big watermelon, a HUGE cauliflower, & a lovely head of lettuce! (The kind that has HUGE leaves to use the leaves as wraps!) Soooo sweet!
{She went to a Farmer's Market & thought of my raw journey.}
I had a tiny nap a few hours later, then we went out to do running around...I had a big piece of glass in my foot, which began throbbing & bleeding as the day progressed...but still, it was such a sweet day, it only barely affected me...(Hannah helped me dig it out after my bath tonight...it was actually HUGE!)
I was so blessed at the food bank, too...last week I asked if I could just go through the monthly hamper while there & give back the things we're no longer eating, & was told that if I call ahead, they could prepare a healthier & ORGANIC hamper!!! (If only I'd known ages ago!) They didn't get my message in time this morning, so next time I go, that's what we'll be getting, but this time, Hannah resisted all the treats & junk food & donuts laid out everywhere! there was a little free yard sale goin' on, & I got a wonderful veggie'n'dip tray! (Almost got one from Avon for 30$, but knew my $ is better spent on produce...not to mention bills!) & a sweet cup to drink my green smoothies from.
We popped in to a little second hand store, & I found some really wonderful things for the kitchen I needed, (strainers, veggie & dip tray with a cover for taking & sharing food!) as well as some +sized clothes for me for the next sizes down that I just LOVED! Normally there's never anything my size, or if there is, it just ain't me!)
Then we went to the health food store, where I was able to get a few things I was totally out of, (& 3 georgous cantalopes for $1.49 each!) & even found my favorite smoothie on sale half price! (No time to make one this morning!) I spent a little more than I should, but am determined to sew & sell more bags etc. soon, so got it in faith our needs'll be met...
As we were headed to Superstore, we saw the Additionelle store (clothing for +sized women) & Hannah & I both thought at once about the gift card I'd just been sent for $100 to spend on clothes, after confessing at RawFu that it's part of why I haven't been going out much, or socializing {& the few things I have been wearing for years are getting too big on me...)
(SUCH an incredibly thoughtful gift from a not-so-secret RawFu pal!) so I got dropped off there while everyone else went for school supplies...
...& there was a 70% off sale!!! {I spent $99.72 cents & it would've come to $231.02!!!} I got some beautiful things, & even one georgous totally-me goal dress!!! I'll be posting pics later (finally have something nice to wear for my before shots I STILL haven't taken!) & am so excited to have something different to wear for church tomorrow! (They've seen me in the same 2 shirts for years now...)
...& I realized that, aside from having a very difficult time finding anything that fit (I'd outgrown the biggest size at Additionelle...*blush*...) I haven't put $ aside to get (or even make) clothes for myself for years cuz I was feeling like, "Why bother, nothing looks good on me anyways..." but yesterday, as I was shopping, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me the verses about not worrying about what we'll eat or wear, "God knows you have need of those things, but seek first the Kingdom of God, & ALL these things shall be added unto you..."
& I realized God was blessing me for putting aside my fears & concerns & just getting my focus where it belongs! (I actually used to worry about what I'd wear when I lose weight, & it hindered me from pursuing it wholeheartedly, as well as worry about how I can afford all the produce etc. it takes to do this!) So it was actually a SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE to go shopping!
& the best part of the day? When I was going through checkout a lady was there that I'd spoken to earlier in the store, & she just looked so sad & unhealthy, I felt soooooo led to bring up raw with her...
I told her of what it's done for me, & that this little shopping spree was because I'd lost almost 60 pounds & had nothing to wear...& she confessed she'd lost 35 but it had taken forever, but her friend's been telling her about green smoothies, & raw, but she was kinda afraid of it, so I got to encourage her to give it a chance, & shared some of it's benefits...she promised she'd try it, & left the store looking like a different woman...a woman with HOPE!
She called back, as she was leaving, "You're my inspiration!" & I just about started bawling right there at the checkout!! But the woman behind the till gave me the funniest look so I just smiled & saved the tears for later...
Afterwards it hit me that I don't need to wait until I reach my goal to finish writing the flyer with the best raw sites & testimonies, & my testimony, & contact info! I can do it NOW, & just update it as the pounds continue coming off, & my health continues increasing! I want to help other women shed their fat suits & re-gain their health, & I know now that anyone can do this if they understand it & want it enough!
I CAN be open about it NOW, {even though I'm still morbidly obese} whenever I'm led, {like I was today}, & I don't have to concern myself with what people might think...I know I'm a work in progress & God isn't done with me yet, & I want to always live my life to please Him, not others...I'm that way with pretty much everything else in my life, it's time to be concerning my weight & health too!
I remember, during the almost 7 years I was a new ager, reading & being taught I must put SELF above all others...please myself first...take care of me..."lookin' out for number 1"
...the difference now, knowing we're called to put God (& pleasing Him, not our self!) first, is like night & day....
...& we're told in the Bible that we ARE to put other's needs ahead of our own....{but I finally know never ahead of God, & His will...}
Even after 20 years of walking with Him, still, every day, He opens my eyes & heart more...every day, He heals something else in me that was lingering, waiting for His loving touch & healing light of truth....we ARE our brothers (& sisters!) keeper...
...so I'm going to keep praying for the woman I met in the store, & her friend that's wanting to help her heal...will you join me?
First, got woken to the doorbell early this morning, after not even 5 hours sleep, it was my friend, bringing me a big watermelon, a HUGE cauliflower, & a lovely head of lettuce! (The kind that has HUGE leaves to use the leaves as wraps!) Soooo sweet!
{She went to a Farmer's Market & thought of my raw journey.}
I had a tiny nap a few hours later, then we went out to do running around...I had a big piece of glass in my foot, which began throbbing & bleeding as the day progressed...but still, it was such a sweet day, it only barely affected me...(Hannah helped me dig it out after my bath tonight...it was actually HUGE!)
I was so blessed at the food bank, too...last week I asked if I could just go through the monthly hamper while there & give back the things we're no longer eating, & was told that if I call ahead, they could prepare a healthier & ORGANIC hamper!!! (If only I'd known ages ago!) They didn't get my message in time this morning, so next time I go, that's what we'll be getting, but this time, Hannah resisted all the treats & junk food & donuts laid out everywhere! there was a little free yard sale goin' on, & I got a wonderful veggie'n'dip tray! (Almost got one from Avon for 30$, but knew my $ is better spent on produce...not to mention bills!) & a sweet cup to drink my green smoothies from.
We popped in to a little second hand store, & I found some really wonderful things for the kitchen I needed, (strainers, veggie & dip tray with a cover for taking & sharing food!) as well as some +sized clothes for me for the next sizes down that I just LOVED! Normally there's never anything my size, or if there is, it just ain't me!)
Then we went to the health food store, where I was able to get a few things I was totally out of, (& 3 georgous cantalopes for $1.49 each!) & even found my favorite smoothie on sale half price! (No time to make one this morning!) I spent a little more than I should, but am determined to sew & sell more bags etc. soon, so got it in faith our needs'll be met...
As we were headed to Superstore, we saw the Additionelle store (clothing for +sized women) & Hannah & I both thought at once about the gift card I'd just been sent for $100 to spend on clothes, after confessing at RawFu that it's part of why I haven't been going out much, or socializing {& the few things I have been wearing for years are getting too big on me...)
(SUCH an incredibly thoughtful gift from a not-so-secret RawFu pal!) so I got dropped off there while everyone else went for school supplies...
...& there was a 70% off sale!!! {I spent $99.72 cents & it would've come to $231.02!!!} I got some beautiful things, & even one georgous totally-me goal dress!!! I'll be posting pics later (finally have something nice to wear for my before shots I STILL haven't taken!) & am so excited to have something different to wear for church tomorrow! (They've seen me in the same 2 shirts for years now...)
...& I realized that, aside from having a very difficult time finding anything that fit (I'd outgrown the biggest size at Additionelle...*blush*...) I haven't put $ aside to get (or even make) clothes for myself for years cuz I was feeling like, "Why bother, nothing looks good on me anyways..." but yesterday, as I was shopping, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me the verses about not worrying about what we'll eat or wear, "God knows you have need of those things, but seek first the Kingdom of God, & ALL these things shall be added unto you..."
& I realized God was blessing me for putting aside my fears & concerns & just getting my focus where it belongs! (I actually used to worry about what I'd wear when I lose weight, & it hindered me from pursuing it wholeheartedly, as well as worry about how I can afford all the produce etc. it takes to do this!) So it was actually a SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE to go shopping!
& the best part of the day? When I was going through checkout a lady was there that I'd spoken to earlier in the store, & she just looked so sad & unhealthy, I felt soooooo led to bring up raw with her...
I told her of what it's done for me, & that this little shopping spree was because I'd lost almost 60 pounds & had nothing to wear...& she confessed she'd lost 35 but it had taken forever, but her friend's been telling her about green smoothies, & raw, but she was kinda afraid of it, so I got to encourage her to give it a chance, & shared some of it's benefits...she promised she'd try it, & left the store looking like a different woman...a woman with HOPE!
She called back, as she was leaving, "You're my inspiration!" & I just about started bawling right there at the checkout!! But the woman behind the till gave me the funniest look so I just smiled & saved the tears for later...
Afterwards it hit me that I don't need to wait until I reach my goal to finish writing the flyer with the best raw sites & testimonies, & my testimony, & contact info! I can do it NOW, & just update it as the pounds continue coming off, & my health continues increasing! I want to help other women shed their fat suits & re-gain their health, & I know now that anyone can do this if they understand it & want it enough!
I CAN be open about it NOW, {even though I'm still morbidly obese} whenever I'm led, {like I was today}, & I don't have to concern myself with what people might think...I know I'm a work in progress & God isn't done with me yet, & I want to always live my life to please Him, not others...I'm that way with pretty much everything else in my life, it's time to be concerning my weight & health too!
I remember, during the almost 7 years I was a new ager, reading & being taught I must put SELF above all others...please myself first...take care of me..."lookin' out for number 1"
...the difference now, knowing we're called to put God (& pleasing Him, not our self!) first, is like night & day....
...& we're told in the Bible that we ARE to put other's needs ahead of our own....{but I finally know never ahead of God, & His will...}
Even after 20 years of walking with Him, still, every day, He opens my eyes & heart more...every day, He heals something else in me that was lingering, waiting for His loving touch & healing light of truth....we ARE our brothers (& sisters!) keeper...
...so I'm going to keep praying for the woman I met in the store, & her friend that's wanting to help her heal...will you join me?
September 05, 2008
~Healed for a Purpose~
When God healed me, instantly (well, overnight) from the inflammatory breast cancer I was diagnosed with in Nov. 2007, I was in so awe that He would choose me to pour out such an amazing miracle of healing on...I knew I'd done nothing to deserve it...I knew it was His GRACE (unmerited favor) & mercy towards me...
It was a major wake-up call to also return to eating only whole fresh REAL raw foods, (food in it's healthiest form!) though it took me a few months to fully surrender.
I knew He was showing me that He healed the cancer miraculously (I believe because it was too aggresive/advanced for raw/juicing/herbs to heal it), but if I want to be free from the obesity, the FM, the MS, & all the other things I've had going on, I needed to finally & completely & CONSISTANTLY obey Him concerning what I put in my body for fuel....& what NOT to!
There are things I've sought to understand sinse I was healed....one is when I meet or know about another woman who's had breast cancer & not been healed...especially other believers, but anyone, really...
I almost feel guilty, or like maybe they think that I think God favors me more than them, because I was healed by prayer (or, more accurately, by His power!) & they weren't....
I know that's not the truth, because I know the Bible's clear that God does not play favorites...
...yet it also says "Be it unto you according to your faith..."
& "You have not, because you ask not..."
But when I knew I had such a rare, agressive type of breast cancer (IBC) & clearly could have died, & yet had no real fear of that as I faced it, knowing I'll be with my savior whenever He chooses to bring me home (much as I want to stay & raise Hannah!) He chose to intervene...
...yet other woman have died from it who didn't yet know Him!
If I could've traded places so they would've had more time to meet Him, I would've in a moment!
It's such a mystery to me......one I'm sure I'll never understand this side of eternity...
Sinse the day I gave Him my life, I've had such a deep faith for miracles, simply because He said He's the same yesterday, today & FOREVER...
...& I've always believed it, & taken Him at His Word...
...& over the last 20 years of walking with Him, I've experienced miracle after miracle...some small, some monumentous, all soooo life-changing, helping me to be conformed to His image, as I learn to die to self daily, & allow Him to live His life through me.
Sometimes I feel like the modern-day female equivalent to Job, that the enemy has been allowed to bring repeated disasters & destruction, because he came before God & said, {as He did about Job} "She only serves you because you bless her!"
When the trials come, it takes everything I have in me to keep crying out, as Job did, "Yet though He slay me, I will trust Him!"
Knowing my life is in His hands, & that He's intervened when I could've (& would've, without His intervention!) died numerous times, how can I do anything but lay control of my own life down, & allow Him to do what He wills with me, in me, through me...?
I know He NEVER allows us to go through more than He promised to see us through!
That's a part of the reason why I want so much for others to come to saving faith in Him, because we're not meant to journey though this fallen world without His help, without resting under the shadow of His wings, enfolded in His arms, sheilded by His Father's heart that longs to pour out healing in EVERY area of our lives, if we only ask!!!
& I'm finally realizing that healing & deliverance from self is deeper & even more life-changing than a physical miracle...not that I'm where I need to be, spiritually, not that I live the crucified life 24/7....far from it....but I know that's where I'm continually drawn, & always headed...
...I know there's no other way but to die daily.
So another day has been spent...& I must ask myself if I spent it for Him, glorifying Him in my body, as we're told to, & glorifying Him in my life, shining the light He's given me, led by His Spirit in all I do...
....off to pray about the answers...
Here's the song God's been singing into my spirit all day...hope it blesses you, too...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25wG9C0s1kA
It was a major wake-up call to also return to eating only whole fresh REAL raw foods, (food in it's healthiest form!) though it took me a few months to fully surrender.
I knew He was showing me that He healed the cancer miraculously (I believe because it was too aggresive/advanced for raw/juicing/herbs to heal it), but if I want to be free from the obesity, the FM, the MS, & all the other things I've had going on, I needed to finally & completely & CONSISTANTLY obey Him concerning what I put in my body for fuel....& what NOT to!
There are things I've sought to understand sinse I was healed....one is when I meet or know about another woman who's had breast cancer & not been healed...especially other believers, but anyone, really...
I almost feel guilty, or like maybe they think that I think God favors me more than them, because I was healed by prayer (or, more accurately, by His power!) & they weren't....
I know that's not the truth, because I know the Bible's clear that God does not play favorites...
...yet it also says "Be it unto you according to your faith..."
& "You have not, because you ask not..."
But when I knew I had such a rare, agressive type of breast cancer (IBC) & clearly could have died, & yet had no real fear of that as I faced it, knowing I'll be with my savior whenever He chooses to bring me home (much as I want to stay & raise Hannah!) He chose to intervene...
...yet other woman have died from it who didn't yet know Him!
If I could've traded places so they would've had more time to meet Him, I would've in a moment!
It's such a mystery to me......one I'm sure I'll never understand this side of eternity...
Sinse the day I gave Him my life, I've had such a deep faith for miracles, simply because He said He's the same yesterday, today & FOREVER...
...& I've always believed it, & taken Him at His Word...
...& over the last 20 years of walking with Him, I've experienced miracle after miracle...some small, some monumentous, all soooo life-changing, helping me to be conformed to His image, as I learn to die to self daily, & allow Him to live His life through me.
Sometimes I feel like the modern-day female equivalent to Job, that the enemy has been allowed to bring repeated disasters & destruction, because he came before God & said, {as He did about Job} "She only serves you because you bless her!"
When the trials come, it takes everything I have in me to keep crying out, as Job did, "Yet though He slay me, I will trust Him!"
Knowing my life is in His hands, & that He's intervened when I could've (& would've, without His intervention!) died numerous times, how can I do anything but lay control of my own life down, & allow Him to do what He wills with me, in me, through me...?
I know He NEVER allows us to go through more than He promised to see us through!
That's a part of the reason why I want so much for others to come to saving faith in Him, because we're not meant to journey though this fallen world without His help, without resting under the shadow of His wings, enfolded in His arms, sheilded by His Father's heart that longs to pour out healing in EVERY area of our lives, if we only ask!!!
& I'm finally realizing that healing & deliverance from self is deeper & even more life-changing than a physical miracle...not that I'm where I need to be, spiritually, not that I live the crucified life 24/7....far from it....but I know that's where I'm continually drawn, & always headed...
...I know there's no other way but to die daily.
So another day has been spent...& I must ask myself if I spent it for Him, glorifying Him in my body, as we're told to, & glorifying Him in my life, shining the light He's given me, led by His Spirit in all I do...
....off to pray about the answers...
Here's the song God's been singing into my spirit all day...hope it blesses you, too...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25wG9C0s1kA
September 01, 2008
~I'm too busy!!!~
I'm soooo sorry, dear readers, for not being more regular lately! (I just need more fiber!!! Kidding! I mean regular with posting, silly!) Over 2 years ago, just starting with & learning about raw, through Raw Food Boot Camp!
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56 pounds down, taken recently...
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Ok, here's the one I'm almost too embarrassed to post...*blush*...same day, 2 years ago, not hiding it as well....(I used to be photogenic, haven't really been for years....which is why I deleted most of the pics I had of me!).jpg)
Between back-to-(home)school preparations, keeping up with everyone & everything at the RawFu 100 day 100% raw challenge I'm doing, trying to get my house in order (I do my spring cleaning in the fall, too...don't ask!) & all the healing, emotional detox, back pain, & TRYING to keep exercising regularily, (not to mention not getting enough sleep & being on a MAJOR night schedule again...Hannah, too!) as well as the long-weekend-sewing-marathon I've been on, I don't know whether I'm comin' or goin' some days! But I'm still here!!! & still 100% raw!!!
So how am I doing, overall? (I miss wearing overalls! Soon!!!) Well, my weight loss seems to be slowing down a little, & I'm definately feeling the need to move more...but I'm going thru something I've experienced before, as the weight is coming off, it seems to be shifting things in the way I hold/carry myself, & my back is hurting constantly, & pretty intensely...I need to up the amount I'm stretching, & do more things that strengthen it, & my abs! (& I need a massage...
& I have a table...anyone wanna volunteer? We can exchange!)
But I had a wee bit of a shock yesterday...I asked my friend Shannon to find any pics she had of me & send them to me...(I deleted every picture that really showed my weight!) & she sent some from when we first met, over 2 years ago, close to my highest weight, when I first went raw... & when I saw them, I was actually shocked! {I even took my measurements the other day, & with being 56 pounds down now, I'd actually lost 2 inches in my NECK! Bizzarre & sooooooooo suprising!!!
You know how you see yourself in the mirror every day, & think maybe there's a few little changes, but it's hard to see? I thought cuz no-one's commented or noticed (except that I can stand longer & walk more) there's really little difference...
So here's the pics...let me know if you see a difference....
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56 pounds down, taken recently...
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Ok, here's the one I'm almost too embarrassed to post...*blush*...same day, 2 years ago, not hiding it as well....(I used to be photogenic, haven't really been for years....which is why I deleted most of the pics I had of me!)
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....& again, taken a few nights ago...
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*Sigh* here's another one I almost deleted...(please never mind the clutter!)
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*Sigh* here's another one I almost deleted...(please never mind the clutter!)
Someone on RawFu said my smile actually reaches my eyes now! What a wonderful compliment!
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Ok, that's all for now...I'm workin' up the courage to take & post full-body pics! & even a video! be patient with me, God ain't finished with me yet! {& neither is RAW!}
Stay Raw, it does a body good!!!
August 25, 2008
~ I FINALLY got on the treadmill!!! ~
My upstairs neighbour said I could use the treadmill she has in the laundry room we share...I kept intending to use it...but somehow was intimidated by it...it seemed to mock me every time I did laundry..."Ha ha, I KNOW you're scared of me! And you're avoiding me! Ha ha!"
So I got Hannah to do the laundry...
...but today, something changed. I faced my fears, found my runners, & JUST DID IT! & my body actually LOVED IT!!! I could only do 5 minutes at a time, then take a break & catch my breath & stretch...then 5 more...then 11 minutes in a row! All together I did 21 minutes today!!! I even broke a sweat! (C'mon, there was an incline!!!) It felt wonderful!
Then a sweet friend at RawFu posted a challenge to workout a minimum of 20 minutes, starting tomorrow {August 25th} for 7 days! SO...YES! I signed up!!! Perfect timing, & just what I needed to keep me going, & make it part of my daily routine! (Cuz only nuns have habits!)
The truth is, I can feel that I NEED to start moving more...I used to get up every half hour while I was on the computer & go do some dishes, stretching, tidying up...but suddenly, awhile back, that just wasn't often enough anymore...so I do it every 15 minutes now...
...& I keep having dreams of swimming, hiking, riding a bike! WALKING!!! & as the weight is coming off, I want to keep toning up (which seems to be happening naturally...so different with raw food than losing weight other ways!), I have been stretching daily, & using light handweights every other day for 10 or 15 minutes, but I needed more!
After walking to my dentist's & back a few days ago, & then shopping the next day & being on my feet waaaay longer than the last time I went, I realized the weight I've shed has really made a difference now...even though no-one can tell yet!
After the last 4 days of the scale not moving, I was 3 pounds down this morning...& am now 49 down from my highest weight!!! ( I was 12 lbs down from that when I came back to raw this time, on June 19th, transitioning for awhile, & now here I am, 100% raw for at least a month & a half!)
So it's time to pick up the pace! I'm sore from my treadmill adventure, but ready for more!!!
Hope you're doing wonderful, growing, changing, learning every day!
(& Hi, Leah! Your bag will be in the mail Wednesday, when I get to the post office! Sorry for the delay!!!)
& I ain't on the treadmill thinkin' of cake, either! (Unless it's raw!)
August 22, 2008
~I Have My Own Personal Raw Chef!~
(Another summary from some postings today at Raw Fu, with some additional notes,cuz it's late again, no time to write a new post, but I wanted to update y'all!)
Oh, my goodness, my sweet daughter has definately found her calling!!!The moment I got outa bed, I was shooed out of the kitchen & told not to peek!
On went the whirring of what sounded like every machine in the kitchen ("Was that the juicer?? But it's BROKEN!!! I think that was the food processor, but it sounds funny! Add water!!!"), & the next thing you know, I'm being brought a bowl of what looked kinda like white soup...???
She pronounced, "It's called, 'Bananafana' in the **recipe book, but I've changed the recipe, & I call it cream-of-banana-not-wheat-with-maggot-eggs!!!" (See my last post, on how she decided to definately go 100% raw with me to understand THAT!)
(**"The Raw Gourmet" is the book, borrowed from the library & possibly never returned! Kidding! But she's beggin' for her own copy! So I gave her a package of recipe cards & a pen! Lol!)
And YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY THIS!!!!!
So here's her version...
"Cashew of Banana"
(The official name! You didn't really think we'd use the other one, did you???)
~2 bananas (they call for one, but next time we're going to use 4!, & a little less nuts, so I can go lighter on the nuts, all her recipes have stopped the scale from goin' down the last few days!!!)
~ Put in food processor (or blender) with a bit more than half a cup of water (which was a tiny bit too much...they called for 1/4...it was kinda like soup, which was also nice...)
~ half a cup of soaked-overnight cashewsblend till creamy (or leave a little bumpy, makes it more like cereal!) She found it tasted totally different after sitting for half an hour {I had to wait, was doing oil pulling} & said it was MUCH better after it sat awhile...I liked it better out of the fridge, she said it was way better room temp! (So to each their own!)
Oh, it could be made thicker, then put banana chunks in it! (Or other fruit!) & it would be delish with cinnamon, or nutmeg! (& sorry, it was so yummy I forgot to take pics, was too busy enjoying it!)All I know is, one medium bowl was the perfect amount, it was soooo yummy & FILLING! It really is similar to cream of wheat, or another oatmeal-type of breakfast!
Now onto the challenge she designed for me this week! It was very interesting indeed!
First, the picture...
She came out with this tray of a bunch of cups (MORE dishes to wash was my first thought! Lol!) fulla carrot juice...& I had to do taste-tests, to see what each carrot juice had in it along with the carrots...I got 3 guesses per cup!
She came out with this tray of a bunch of cups (MORE dishes to wash was my first thought! Lol!) fulla carrot juice...& I had to do taste-tests, to see what each carrot juice had in it along with the carrots...I got 3 guesses per cup!
~The first mix was carrot-lemon (SOUR! Too much lemon! I'm awake NOW! Got that in 2 guesses, thought it was grapefruit!)
~Then carrot-orange (WOW! Never had that combo before, soooo good! Got it first guess!)
~Then carrot-spinich (Yum, got it in 3, thought it was lettuce, then parsely...she didn't put much in, & I was still tasting citrus! Shoulda rinsed between sips to cleanse my palate!)
~Then carrot-apple, (my old favorite, so I got it in one guess!)
~Then straight carrot! (Got that in one guess! She was so suprised!)
It was soooooo fun! The prize was more beads for the necklace she's gonna make me when I finish the 100 day challenge!
AND the AMAZING thing was, she just put the juicer together & used it, not knowing it's been making grinding/weird noises, & I was goona throw it out! But it WORKED for her!
Either a miracle healing for kitchen appliances occurred, or I was assembling it wrong!
(Which would amaze me, cuz I've used it for years!)
But UGH, she just now called from the kitchen, "Um, mom, we need a new juicer, the cord's been chewed thru sinse our old place when we had that mouse, & now the wires are showing!"
{Ok, the real miracle was she didn't get electrocuted!!!!}
Now she's in there chopping something up for lunch, & I'm STILL not allowed in the kitchen!
She DID tell me dinner was onion rings, & tortalini (her own invented recipe...) & RAW pancakes tomorrow!
I'm gonna GAIN weight if this keeps up!!!!
No more mono meals for me for awhile, I guess...don't wanna discourage her! Haha!
(& she promised to keep the nuts in her inventions down to a dull roar...)
I'm getting hungry!!!
Wonder what's for lunch??
Who needs a Raw Cafe to get spend $ I don't have???!!!
(I confess, every time I hear of visits to them, I get a twang of jealousy!)
Oh my! She just came out with our lunch, she calls it "Purple delight" a cole-slaw type of salad with the most AMAZING flavors!!! No...time...to write....gotta go eat!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Even SHE'S amazed at how good this is!!!!)
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{Later}
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{Later}
OK, oh my goodness, you guys, please don't be jealous, but you would not believe the dinner I just had!
Yellow zucchini noodles (she discovered the cheeze slicer I just got at the dollar store) with an amazing sauce she invented (I only had to help a bit when she put in sunflower seeds to thicken it when the blended tomatoes were runny, before she'd added spices, garlic, onions, etc.)
I gotta confess, I never thought I'd like zucchini noodles, but WOW! So filling! So different than I expected! Really satisfying, something so different about it prepared this way, not sure what it is, just know I was very glad when she couldn't finish hers & I got to!!!
The only thing is, we're going thru all the produce sooo fast! (she just used 4 tomatoes for the sauce, & they were supposed to be for salads all week!)
I just gotta keep trusting that God'll provide...hopin' & prayin' now that someone'll share zucchini with me from the abundance of their garden!{Anyone know how long it'll keep in the coldroom?} & I gotta get sewing some more music bags to post on my site to sell!
(As soon as I finish & get sent the ones already purchased!)
I honestly didn't think I was bored with salads & smoothies, but after living on them for almost 2 months, well let's just say, much as I've enjoyed them, there's a party goin' on in my mouth NOW, & my tastebuds are the hosts!
Ok, so here's a picture of tonight's dinner, with little chopped up mushrooms on top! Sorry there's none left!!! (& it tasted waaaaay better than it looks! Honest! Can't wait to make more as soon as we get another big zucchini! There's enough sauce left for another meal!)
~Anastazia~
August 19, 2008
~Maggots Made Hannah Go Raw!!!~
(This is my blog post today from RawFu, just had to share it here with you, with a few new notes at the bottom...)
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Wow, whatta day we've had! Suddenly, Hannah's totally on board & is going 100% with me!!! Thanks to MAGGOTS!!!
I made her some tapioca days ago, & a bunch never got eaten & was forgotten in a pot on the ledge, & today, I asked her to dump it so I could wash it...& it was crawling with LIVE maggots!...
...which led to a discussion about grains, & the eggs on them (they had to come from somewhere, right?)
...she'd already gone vegetarian, now she's DONE with grains (especially the processed stuff! She wants to try wheat berries sprouted & made into dehydrated bread, but says she'll wash them first!)
Then we discussed milk, (which she loves) & the amount of pus in it, & suddenly, she just said, "That's it, I'm going raw with you!"
...& THEN, she got all excited, & took over the kitchen!!!
She decided to make a BUNCH of recipes, so first, we made avacado chocolate pudding, then Bunny's fried okra recipe using zucchini, (YUM!) (just grind sunflower & flax seeds in coffee grinder & add spices (I added a Mrs. Dash veggie mix, cumin, salt & peeper would work, whatever!) & then put chopped zucchini {cubes} into a bowl, drizzle flax (or whatever) oil over it, then pour the dry stuff on top, mix together, put in dehydrator awhile (1-3 hours, depending on th temperature...I had it too low, we ate them not quite done ,but the were still sooo good, & SOOO filling!! & are yummier the longer they dehydrate!) then she just had to make the sunflower cheese! (Sunflower seeds ground in coffee grinder, lemon, garlic, bit of salt, I think, then process in food processor...blender would work, too...Oh, SO good!)
...then when I was in on the computer, she secretly invented a banana pudding, so I told her about banana milk, & we're going to make it for breakfast, & she has me writing out recipes for the flax bread, some cheesecake, & the eggnog smoothie so she can make them herself tomorrow if I sleep in!
Somethin' tells me the groceries are gonna be dissapearing fast!!!She even let me bag up all the non-raw stuff she's been eating, to give to our friends!
WOW. I'm in awe at how God answers prayer....even using the lowly maggot to do so!
We're going to plan the recipes we want to try, she's got us a shopping list going, & she's soooo excited! She told me, now that she's tried these recipes tonight, she can totally understand now how it's possible (she was marvelling that I've been living on smoothies & salad & fruit for snacks, thought that was the only way to do this, & said she KNEW she could never do THAT...)
The zucchini was awesome! (Thanks, Bunny, even though it wasn't okra!) It was suprisingly VERY filling! We were soooo hungry we couldn't wait (took longer than I expected, but I don't think I had it turned up enough...) & even barely dehydrated & still quite soft (after 2 hours) it was quite yummilicious!!! The spices were the key, & I can't wait to try new kinds! {Oh, I bet cumin would go incredibly well with it, gotta get some!}
Anyways, just had to share how wonderful today was, maggots & all!
Woulda taken pics, but it's been too hot all day to put many clothes on! Lol!
(Besides, we flushed the maggots! Lol!)
Hannah's soooo excited now, she can't sleep, & keeps inventing recipes, bringing things out, telling me to close my eyes & open my mouth & try them! So far now she's made banana pudding, chocolate covered strawberries, & has a secret breakfast almost totally ready in the fridge waiting for us to get up!
I'm gonna GAIN weight, at this rate!!! (have explained I can't eat nuts daily!)
I think she's found her calling, she LOVES to prepare food, & has missed cooking for me sinse I went raw, & is so excited about using whole, live foods...
...not to mention all the energy it's giving her! She's in cleaning her room at 12:55 am!!! Hyper on all the raw energy!!! Reminds me of me the first week!!!
(She's been having more & more raw each day, & noticed today when she ate rice today it felt different, heavy, & slowed her down a lot!)
Couldn't get her to sleep right now if I drugged her!!! Lol!
{But I better go try!}
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Wow, whatta day we've had! Suddenly, Hannah's totally on board & is going 100% with me!!! Thanks to MAGGOTS!!!
I made her some tapioca days ago, & a bunch never got eaten & was forgotten in a pot on the ledge, & today, I asked her to dump it so I could wash it...& it was crawling with LIVE maggots!...
...which led to a discussion about grains, & the eggs on them (they had to come from somewhere, right?)
...she'd already gone vegetarian, now she's DONE with grains (especially the processed stuff! She wants to try wheat berries sprouted & made into dehydrated bread, but says she'll wash them first!)
Then we discussed milk, (which she loves) & the amount of pus in it, & suddenly, she just said, "That's it, I'm going raw with you!"
...& THEN, she got all excited, & took over the kitchen!!!
She decided to make a BUNCH of recipes, so first, we made avacado chocolate pudding, then Bunny's fried okra recipe using zucchini, (YUM!) (just grind sunflower & flax seeds in coffee grinder & add spices (I added a Mrs. Dash veggie mix, cumin, salt & peeper would work, whatever!) & then put chopped zucchini {cubes} into a bowl, drizzle flax (or whatever) oil over it, then pour the dry stuff on top, mix together, put in dehydrator awhile (1-3 hours, depending on th temperature...I had it too low, we ate them not quite done ,but the were still sooo good, & SOOO filling!! & are yummier the longer they dehydrate!) then she just had to make the sunflower cheese! (Sunflower seeds ground in coffee grinder, lemon, garlic, bit of salt, I think, then process in food processor...blender would work, too...Oh, SO good!)
...then when I was in on the computer, she secretly invented a banana pudding, so I told her about banana milk, & we're going to make it for breakfast, & she has me writing out recipes for the flax bread, some cheesecake, & the eggnog smoothie so she can make them herself tomorrow if I sleep in!
Somethin' tells me the groceries are gonna be dissapearing fast!!!She even let me bag up all the non-raw stuff she's been eating, to give to our friends!
WOW. I'm in awe at how God answers prayer....even using the lowly maggot to do so!
We're going to plan the recipes we want to try, she's got us a shopping list going, & she's soooo excited! She told me, now that she's tried these recipes tonight, she can totally understand now how it's possible (she was marvelling that I've been living on smoothies & salad & fruit for snacks, thought that was the only way to do this, & said she KNEW she could never do THAT...)
The zucchini was awesome! (Thanks, Bunny, even though it wasn't okra!) It was suprisingly VERY filling! We were soooo hungry we couldn't wait (took longer than I expected, but I don't think I had it turned up enough...) & even barely dehydrated & still quite soft (after 2 hours) it was quite yummilicious!!! The spices were the key, & I can't wait to try new kinds! {Oh, I bet cumin would go incredibly well with it, gotta get some!}
Anyways, just had to share how wonderful today was, maggots & all!
Woulda taken pics, but it's been too hot all day to put many clothes on! Lol!
(Besides, we flushed the maggots! Lol!)
Hannah's soooo excited now, she can't sleep, & keeps inventing recipes, bringing things out, telling me to close my eyes & open my mouth & try them! So far now she's made banana pudding, chocolate covered strawberries, & has a secret breakfast almost totally ready in the fridge waiting for us to get up!
I'm gonna GAIN weight, at this rate!!! (have explained I can't eat nuts daily!)
I think she's found her calling, she LOVES to prepare food, & has missed cooking for me sinse I went raw, & is so excited about using whole, live foods...
...not to mention all the energy it's giving her! She's in cleaning her room at 12:55 am!!! Hyper on all the raw energy!!! Reminds me of me the first week!!!
(She's been having more & more raw each day, & noticed today when she ate rice today it felt different, heavy, & slowed her down a lot!)
Couldn't get her to sleep right now if I drugged her!!! Lol!
{But I better go try!}
August 17, 2008
~Day 17 at Raw Fu on the 100 day challenge~
Hi! I'm back! Been a little distracted with all the activity at RawFu, & have been spending too much time online, so trying to cut back! & sewing more again...didn't mean to neglect my blog, though!
So it's day 17, wish I'd been 100% the whole time, have had a few days of allowing myself a little cooked food, fairly healthy stuff, but it instantly stopped my weight loss, & I even gained back 6 pounds overnight the first time...& since breaking it, it triggered daily temptations again with everything I prepare for Hannah...
...so I was thinking yesterday that I would allow myself just a few specific cooked things, but today, I feel like the evidence has proven to me that 100% works for me if I stick with it! My one main reason I've been wanting to incorporate some other foods has been hair loss with 100%, my hair has thinned soooo much (over the last few years, not just with raw), {though it is starting to feel healthier!}
So I'm going to stay 100% for now & go do some research on what foods prevent hair loss, & help with re-growth, & then decide what to do...if I can find enough raw foods that help (like the selenium in brazil nuts, though I can never seem to find Brazil nuts, let alone RAW ones!) then I'll stay 100%, if the only other ones I can find are cooked, then I'll consider adding those in moderation...
...if anyone has any info/help on this please share!!!
I'm in a lot of pain today, still, sore, with knots under my shoulders, & I can't even turn my head, or lift anything...every time I increase my exercise, even just a little bit, I can hardly move for days...I''m soooo tired of FM, & am praying that Raw totally frees me from it!!!
Hope you're all doing well, & that you're having a wonderful summer! It's been around 39 degrees here for days, & many days this summer! I LOVE my cool basement suite!!!
I made a video yesterday, but didn't post it (yet?) cuz I barely recognized myself! It was bizarre, actually...I see now I don't see myself as I really am...my weight, & the stress of my health problems have changes me, so much...I think I'll need to videotape myself numerous times before my perceptions catch up with reality!
One day, I'll post a bunch at once, of my progress & changes, & by then I'll look more like me again, hopefully...
So it's day 17, wish I'd been 100% the whole time, have had a few days of allowing myself a little cooked food, fairly healthy stuff, but it instantly stopped my weight loss, & I even gained back 6 pounds overnight the first time...& since breaking it, it triggered daily temptations again with everything I prepare for Hannah...
...so I was thinking yesterday that I would allow myself just a few specific cooked things, but today, I feel like the evidence has proven to me that 100% works for me if I stick with it! My one main reason I've been wanting to incorporate some other foods has been hair loss with 100%, my hair has thinned soooo much (over the last few years, not just with raw), {though it is starting to feel healthier!}
So I'm going to stay 100% for now & go do some research on what foods prevent hair loss, & help with re-growth, & then decide what to do...if I can find enough raw foods that help (like the selenium in brazil nuts, though I can never seem to find Brazil nuts, let alone RAW ones!) then I'll stay 100%, if the only other ones I can find are cooked, then I'll consider adding those in moderation...
...if anyone has any info/help on this please share!!!
I'm in a lot of pain today, still, sore, with knots under my shoulders, & I can't even turn my head, or lift anything...every time I increase my exercise, even just a little bit, I can hardly move for days...I''m soooo tired of FM, & am praying that Raw totally frees me from it!!!
Hope you're all doing well, & that you're having a wonderful summer! It's been around 39 degrees here for days, & many days this summer! I LOVE my cool basement suite!!!
I made a video yesterday, but didn't post it (yet?) cuz I barely recognized myself! It was bizarre, actually...I see now I don't see myself as I really am...my weight, & the stress of my health problems have changes me, so much...I think I'll need to videotape myself numerous times before my perceptions catch up with reality!
One day, I'll post a bunch at once, of my progress & changes, & by then I'll look more like me again, hopefully...
August 08, 2008
~The Raw Food Pyramid~
I found this at RawFu on someone's blog, & just had to pass it along! Enjoy! http://www.watershed.net/RawFoodPoster.aspx
I want to order this poster one day!
I want to order this poster one day!
~Daily Changing~
As my journey with raw progresses, the changes are quite amazing to me...on every level...below is my blog post from RawFu today (followed by some new comments)...
I realise that some reading my blog here are also there, & may have read it already, but I'm led to share it here as well...so here ya go...(again?)
I started with this picture, cuz this is how I feel today...
It's soooo weird, I feel lighter, & AM lighter, but now suddenly I'm so AWARE of this excess weight I've been carrying so long!!! Almost like I'm unthawing or something, & was just numb to it, trying to press on day by day, not really facing how HARD it's been (physically!) to carry it all!!!
I was carrying at least 250 more pounds than my body is meant to!!!(Not quite so much now, but still over 200!!!)
That's a grown man & a toddler combined!!! I couldn't piggyback them around all day, how on earth have I continued to carry it all??? I have no clue! (Aren't our bodies surprisingly resilient?)
Amazingly enough, I don't even have joint problems...but that's likely cuz I'm not on my feet much!
So today, I can suddenly FEEL what I've done to myself in a way I never really have before!!! How weird is THAT? But I guess it's part of this healing journey...
...it reminds of that dumb joke Rosanne Barr used to tell in her early days as a stand-up comedian...
"I lost 200 pounds of ugly fat....I got a divorce!"
Ok, sad, but a little funny, c'mon...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, that was my day...
...& now, I'm thinking about ALL it's taken to finally come to the place of being ready to do this no matter what, & to face down every obstacle!
I spent some time re-reading this blog, & am amazed, actually, that I haven't given up, for how looooong it's taken me to finally start losing weight again...not to mention getting back to raw!
I was actually thinking of deleting all but the last month & a half or so, but just in case there's anything here that can help anyone, I'll leave it up for those who, like me, have taken time to come to the place of being truly ready to surrender to the power of raw!
The path has been looooong & windy, but since the first time I learned of the healing power in eating raw, whole organic foods, I KNEW it was exactly what I needed!
It's hard to change a lifetime of eating habits & all that accompanies that, but, "by George, I think I've got it!"
Have a wonderful day...week...rest of the month....year!!!
"One day at a time, sweet Jesus! That's all I'm asking of you!!!"
I realise that some reading my blog here are also there, & may have read it already, but I'm led to share it here as well...so here ya go...(again?)
I started with this picture, cuz this is how I feel today...
It's soooo weird, I feel lighter, & AM lighter, but now suddenly I'm so AWARE of this excess weight I've been carrying so long!!! Almost like I'm unthawing or something, & was just numb to it, trying to press on day by day, not really facing how HARD it's been (physically!) to carry it all!!!
I was carrying at least 250 more pounds than my body is meant to!!!(Not quite so much now, but still over 200!!!)
That's a grown man & a toddler combined!!! I couldn't piggyback them around all day, how on earth have I continued to carry it all??? I have no clue! (Aren't our bodies surprisingly resilient?)
Amazingly enough, I don't even have joint problems...but that's likely cuz I'm not on my feet much!
So today, I can suddenly FEEL what I've done to myself in a way I never really have before!!! How weird is THAT? But I guess it's part of this healing journey...
...it reminds of that dumb joke Rosanne Barr used to tell in her early days as a stand-up comedian...
"I lost 200 pounds of ugly fat....I got a divorce!"
Ok, sad, but a little funny, c'mon...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, that was my day...
...& now, I'm thinking about ALL it's taken to finally come to the place of being ready to do this no matter what, & to face down every obstacle!
I spent some time re-reading this blog, & am amazed, actually, that I haven't given up, for how looooong it's taken me to finally start losing weight again...not to mention getting back to raw!
I was actually thinking of deleting all but the last month & a half or so, but just in case there's anything here that can help anyone, I'll leave it up for those who, like me, have taken time to come to the place of being truly ready to surrender to the power of raw!
The path has been looooong & windy, but since the first time I learned of the healing power in eating raw, whole organic foods, I KNEW it was exactly what I needed!
It's hard to change a lifetime of eating habits & all that accompanies that, but, "by George, I think I've got it!"
Have a wonderful day...week...rest of the month....year!!!
"One day at a time, sweet Jesus! That's all I'm asking of you!!!"
August 06, 2008
Thinking about the next 94 days...
Howdy!
I don't know what it is that's different about doing this 100 day challenge, compared to the 30 day ones I've been attempting to complete 100% raw at RFT...I just know it feels very different, & so much EASIER! Logically, that doesn't even make sense, but somehow, it's still true...
...I had wanted, at the beginning of the year, to commit to 1 full year at 100% raw...but that was too big of a bite to chew all at once...30 days just wasn't enough, considering how far I have to go.
I think it just felt like even if I succeeded, I'd barely make a dent in all my health & weight issues.
Something about 100 days is just right for me...it's not a WHOLE YEAR, but it's long enough that, by the end of it, there will definately be significant differences in my health, weight, lifestyle, habits & everything else doing this affects!
It's been amazing so far to share this journey with 1000+ others at RawFu...we're all at various places along the way, but many, like me, are beginners who've been learning about raw for awhile, but have had a hard time consistantly applying what we've learned...& together, we're breaking through, helping each other, learning together, & encouraging one another...that's what I've been praying for, & am so glad to have found!
Today, my pain levels are thru the roof, due to poor (& not enough!) sleep! I kept waking up itching, ITCHING, ITCHING!!!
So I'm just pacing myself, finally got my appetite back (it completely leaves when I'm tired) & am having a smoothie, & I'm about to make a salad....it's 37 degrees here today, & too hot for me to go outside!!! But I will before the sun sets, when it cools off a bit, & get my Vitamin D for the day (20 minutes minimum, 3 x's a week, on as much skin as possible, not just washed (did you know if you've recently washed your natural oils away you don't absorb the vitamin D???)
I'm pressing on, one day at a time...I just want to be free to serve God & others daily without my health problems always interfering...I haven't even made it to church in many weeks...*sigh*...so if 100 days is what it takes to move me through the struggle to the other side, then 100 days is what it's goona be...well, 94 more! & then, we'll see...
...there'll be a short challenge over the holidays, which I may do high raw, (if that ain't workin' for me by then, & I can't keep the cooked to a minumum, then I'll do it 100% raw again...) & then another 100 day one beginning on January 1st...which I plan on committing to doing 100% raw again!
But I know, I know, I gotta take it one 100 days at a time!!!
I don't know what it is that's different about doing this 100 day challenge, compared to the 30 day ones I've been attempting to complete 100% raw at RFT...I just know it feels very different, & so much EASIER! Logically, that doesn't even make sense, but somehow, it's still true...
...I had wanted, at the beginning of the year, to commit to 1 full year at 100% raw...but that was too big of a bite to chew all at once...30 days just wasn't enough, considering how far I have to go.
I think it just felt like even if I succeeded, I'd barely make a dent in all my health & weight issues.
Something about 100 days is just right for me...it's not a WHOLE YEAR, but it's long enough that, by the end of it, there will definately be significant differences in my health, weight, lifestyle, habits & everything else doing this affects!
It's been amazing so far to share this journey with 1000+ others at RawFu...we're all at various places along the way, but many, like me, are beginners who've been learning about raw for awhile, but have had a hard time consistantly applying what we've learned...& together, we're breaking through, helping each other, learning together, & encouraging one another...that's what I've been praying for, & am so glad to have found!
Today, my pain levels are thru the roof, due to poor (& not enough!) sleep! I kept waking up itching, ITCHING, ITCHING!!!
So I'm just pacing myself, finally got my appetite back (it completely leaves when I'm tired) & am having a smoothie, & I'm about to make a salad....it's 37 degrees here today, & too hot for me to go outside!!! But I will before the sun sets, when it cools off a bit, & get my Vitamin D for the day (20 minutes minimum, 3 x's a week, on as much skin as possible, not just washed (did you know if you've recently washed your natural oils away you don't absorb the vitamin D???)
I'm pressing on, one day at a time...I just want to be free to serve God & others daily without my health problems always interfering...I haven't even made it to church in many weeks...*sigh*...so if 100 days is what it takes to move me through the struggle to the other side, then 100 days is what it's goona be...well, 94 more! & then, we'll see...
...there'll be a short challenge over the holidays, which I may do high raw, (if that ain't workin' for me by then, & I can't keep the cooked to a minumum, then I'll do it 100% raw again...) & then another 100 day one beginning on January 1st...which I plan on committing to doing 100% raw again!
But I know, I know, I gotta take it one 100 days at a time!!!
August 05, 2008
~Weigh-in day! WOOHOO!!!~
I decided (with the RawFu folks!) that Tuesdays should be weigh-in day, cuz "The Biggest Loser" is starting again in September, & will be on on Tuesdays (the theme this season is Families!!) so today, I weighed in...are ya ready for this??? I'm FINALLY UNDER what I got down to when I first discovered raw (& did the Raw Food Boot Camp for 45 days & lost 42 pounds)!!! For some reason that it really impacting me!! Some part of me was thinking I NEEDED something so rigidly structured to actually succeed at this, but now I've proven to myself I DON'T, & it gives me a lot of strength & determination to press on!!!
Ok, Drumroll, please....
~Highest weight: 398 lbs
~Started transitioning back towards 100% raw June 19th, 2008:386 lbs (12 down)
~Back to 100% raw, July 3rd: 375 lbs (23 down)
~Started Raw Fu 100% for 100 days challenge August 1st: 366 (32 down)
~First Tuesday weigh in August 5th: 355 lbs!!! (43 down from my highest weight!)
~Next Tuesday weigh-in goal: 345! (Or less!!!)
Hannah did an amazing "Biggest Loser" type of challenge for me this morning...if she'd done it BEFORE my weigh-in, I don't know that I woulda passed! Lol!
But I was so excited, it got her all excited for me, & she wrote a little note, pretended to find it in the mailbox from my secret Raw Fu pal, & then brought in two plates I had to choose between...
...the prize being, if I chose the right plate, all my food for today would be COOKED for me! (She meant UNcooked, of course! Haha!)
So here's what I had to choose between:
Green drink, coconut oil (notice the heart shape? Cuz it's good for the heart, & cuz she loves me!) & incredible yummy macadamia nut butter (that I'm 99.9% sure is raw, waiting to find out!), or THESE horrible temptations I USED to eat! GULP! & that HEALTH FOOD STORE BRAND of pop has 43 grams of sugar!!! (Oh, but it's organic CANE sugar! AND Caramel, which has been proven to be carcinogenic!!! No more wasting $ on THAT! Which leaves more $ for produce!)
Yes, OF COURSE I chose the HEALTHY plate (but I had to water down the drink a little, though! GAK!) & my prize has already begun, she brought me a cantalope, & is going to add to the smoothie I have in the fridge soon!
I ALMOST gave in to temptation & drank some of the pop yesterday, but she wouldn't let me! & I'd been given the chocolate bars & forgotten I had them & the cookies stuffed in a bag thrown in a corner of my room!
Oh, yea, the bonus challenge was I had to open the chocolate bars, smell 'em, break 'em up, & throw 'em in the garbage without one nibble!!! & I did it!!! That won me an extra bead for the necklace she's going to make me, I earn a bead with each weigh-in (if the scale's down, of course!) & by the time I reach my goal, I'll have enough for a pretty necklace~
(she began that when I began RawFoodBootCamp, & just started again today...cuz she sees now I REALLY AM doing this!!!)
Off to go get some dishes done, then FINALLY check out my upstairs neighbour's treadmill she gave me access to MONTHS ago that I've barely tried!!!
Then, outside for some sunshine!
I hope you're having a really wonderful day, like I am!
Victory comes with consistant perseverance!!!
C'mon, you KNOW RAW works!
Don't give up, K?
I'm rootin' for ya!!!
Ok, Drumroll, please....
~Highest weight: 398 lbs
~Started transitioning back towards 100% raw June 19th, 2008:386 lbs (12 down)
~Back to 100% raw, July 3rd: 375 lbs (23 down)
~Started Raw Fu 100% for 100 days challenge August 1st: 366 (32 down)
~First Tuesday weigh in August 5th: 355 lbs!!! (43 down from my highest weight!)
~Next Tuesday weigh-in goal: 345! (Or less!!!)
Hannah did an amazing "Biggest Loser" type of challenge for me this morning...if she'd done it BEFORE my weigh-in, I don't know that I woulda passed! Lol!
But I was so excited, it got her all excited for me, & she wrote a little note, pretended to find it in the mailbox from my secret Raw Fu pal, & then brought in two plates I had to choose between...
...the prize being, if I chose the right plate, all my food for today would be COOKED for me! (She meant UNcooked, of course! Haha!)
So here's what I had to choose between:
Green drink, coconut oil (notice the heart shape? Cuz it's good for the heart, & cuz she loves me!) & incredible yummy macadamia nut butter (that I'm 99.9% sure is raw, waiting to find out!), or THESE horrible temptations I USED to eat! GULP! & that HEALTH FOOD STORE BRAND of pop has 43 grams of sugar!!! (Oh, but it's organic CANE sugar! AND Caramel, which has been proven to be carcinogenic!!! No more wasting $ on THAT! Which leaves more $ for produce!)
Yes, OF COURSE I chose the HEALTHY plate (but I had to water down the drink a little, though! GAK!) & my prize has already begun, she brought me a cantalope, & is going to add to the smoothie I have in the fridge soon!
I ALMOST gave in to temptation & drank some of the pop yesterday, but she wouldn't let me! & I'd been given the chocolate bars & forgotten I had them & the cookies stuffed in a bag thrown in a corner of my room!
Oh, yea, the bonus challenge was I had to open the chocolate bars, smell 'em, break 'em up, & throw 'em in the garbage without one nibble!!! & I did it!!! That won me an extra bead for the necklace she's going to make me, I earn a bead with each weigh-in (if the scale's down, of course!) & by the time I reach my goal, I'll have enough for a pretty necklace~
(she began that when I began RawFoodBootCamp, & just started again today...cuz she sees now I REALLY AM doing this!!!)
Off to go get some dishes done, then FINALLY check out my upstairs neighbour's treadmill she gave me access to MONTHS ago that I've barely tried!!!
Then, outside for some sunshine!
I hope you're having a really wonderful day, like I am!
Victory comes with consistant perseverance!!!
C'mon, you KNOW RAW works!
Don't give up, K?
I'm rootin' for ya!!!
August 03, 2008
~The Yummiest dessert EVER!!!~
After a raspberry smoothie today for brunch, veggies & guaca-salsa dip for dinner, & some pumpkin seeds, I invented an amazing dessert tonight! (& now can't sleep cuz of the cocoa in it!)
First, I got my leftover yummy raw fudge with walnuts out of the fridge, cut it into little chunks, & cuz I didn't have enough agave when I made it (ran out, don't know when I can afford to get more! Wah!) I smothered it in raspberries, which I finally got out again today to pick!
Oh, my good gracious, you would not believe how incredibly delish it was!!! Wish I could share it with you all!!!
Well, day two of the 100 day challenge is done, & I'm still raw! Tired, but feelin' good so far, little detox, nothin' I can't handle!
I feel bad, I missed checking in for the last day of the 30 day challenge at RawFoodTalk, I got so involved at RawFu! It's really been helping me focus on all the reasons I'm doing this, & I've met some incredibly wonderful people there....& am learning LOTS!
I want to get going on doing videos of this journey! I've been so blessed by the ones I've watched there! Just haven't found time to get going on 'em yet! (except some rough drafts! lol!)
Still not sleeping great, only a few hours most nights lately, though had a loooong sleep last night....until 1 in the afternoon! So here it is, almost 5 am, wide awake again...really wanted to make it to church tomorrow, but doesn't look too likely...*sigh*...
...anyways, the scale had some good news, after my 'last supper' the night before the challenge began, & I went back up to 366...today I was down to 362 again today...no more yo-yoing!!!
(I never yo-yo'ed in my life until raw...but I'm DONE!
"From now on, numbers on the scale, yer goin' DOWN!!!"
Here's a picture of my dessert! Try it!! You'll love it!!!
First, I got my leftover yummy raw fudge with walnuts out of the fridge, cut it into little chunks, & cuz I didn't have enough agave when I made it (ran out, don't know when I can afford to get more! Wah!) I smothered it in raspberries, which I finally got out again today to pick!
Oh, my good gracious, you would not believe how incredibly delish it was!!! Wish I could share it with you all!!!
Well, day two of the 100 day challenge is done, & I'm still raw! Tired, but feelin' good so far, little detox, nothin' I can't handle!
I feel bad, I missed checking in for the last day of the 30 day challenge at RawFoodTalk, I got so involved at RawFu! It's really been helping me focus on all the reasons I'm doing this, & I've met some incredibly wonderful people there....& am learning LOTS!
I want to get going on doing videos of this journey! I've been so blessed by the ones I've watched there! Just haven't found time to get going on 'em yet! (except some rough drafts! lol!)
Still not sleeping great, only a few hours most nights lately, though had a loooong sleep last night....until 1 in the afternoon! So here it is, almost 5 am, wide awake again...really wanted to make it to church tomorrow, but doesn't look too likely...*sigh*...
...anyways, the scale had some good news, after my 'last supper' the night before the challenge began, & I went back up to 366...today I was down to 362 again today...no more yo-yoing!!!
(I never yo-yo'ed in my life until raw...but I'm DONE!
"From now on, numbers on the scale, yer goin' DOWN!!!"
Here's a picture of my dessert! Try it!! You'll love it!!!
August 01, 2008
~RAW EMOTION~
~Rawstoration~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Father, You've been a wonderful provider
for my body's every true need,
but I turned to food's poor imitations
in my foolish gluttony & greed,
craving what fed my flesh nature
rather than what my body needed & preferred~
...tempted, I yielded, till almost destroyed,
the lines were all crossed, & then blurred...
Now daily, I commit to surrender
to let ALL the things that've harmed me go!
And more by the day, I crave what You created
to nourish each cell as they grow,
& as the imitation's been exposed & revealed
for the harmful garbage I once blindly chose
I'm feeling almost resurrected already!
Up from my grave, I arose!!!
So thank-you, God, for Your loving provision
of what our self-healing bodies require!
I'm sooo grateful You've lit up the path for me
that leads me increasingly higher!
I'd sunk down so low that I'd given up hope...
...now hope grows, more nourished by the day!
My life's being restored! Obedience brings such reward
as You're healing me in every way!
~By Anastazia~
*July, 2008*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Thirty Years to Come to This Place~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I remember realizing
being bigger meant looking older,
needing to grow up FAST,
choosing my soul's disguise~
~12 going on 20,
still a child inside,
soon buried under years of pain,
eventually hiding under the shame
of all the weight I'd gained...
...only when love entered into
my wounded, abandoned heart
did I even attempt to shed
the protection I'd found
beneath the layers of my past
constantly surrounding me~
~Healing has come slowly,
but each day, victory comes,
brick by brick, the wall around my heart
is being chiseled away,
once firmly held in place
by my excess weight~
~And as I choose the real food
that brings my healing to life,
I let the imitations go
& see them for the fool's gold
they've always been
& will remain!
No more hiding my heart,
buried in yesterday's pain,
it's time to feel
EVERYTHING
& live freely again!
Running, dancing, playing,
joyfully obeying
the Father's will & calling,
coming home...
...& staying!!!
~By Anastazia~
*July, 2008*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
From Glory to Glory!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Others look, & see the wall
around me still,
but You, Lord, see it fall!
And I know others look on
the outward parts,
but Your Word promises
You look on the heart!
Others tend to analyze,
judging the book
by it's cover & size,
but You see through
my disguise!!!
Others may not like what they see
when they look at me,
but Father, You see me FREE!
Others don't seem to understand
the things You've shown me You have planned,
...still, You hold me steady, while transforming me
in the palm of Your loving hand!
Others wonder how & when
You'll set me free completely~
They don't realize, Lord,
You already have!!!
It's just still manifesting!!!
~By Anastazia~
*July, 2008*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Father, You've been a wonderful provider
for my body's every true need,
but I turned to food's poor imitations
in my foolish gluttony & greed,
craving what fed my flesh nature
rather than what my body needed & preferred~
...tempted, I yielded, till almost destroyed,
the lines were all crossed, & then blurred...
Now daily, I commit to surrender
to let ALL the things that've harmed me go!
And more by the day, I crave what You created
to nourish each cell as they grow,
& as the imitation's been exposed & revealed
for the harmful garbage I once blindly chose
I'm feeling almost resurrected already!
Up from my grave, I arose!!!
So thank-you, God, for Your loving provision
of what our self-healing bodies require!
I'm sooo grateful You've lit up the path for me
that leads me increasingly higher!
I'd sunk down so low that I'd given up hope...
...now hope grows, more nourished by the day!
My life's being restored! Obedience brings such reward
as You're healing me in every way!
~By Anastazia~
*July, 2008*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Thirty Years to Come to This Place~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I remember realizing
being bigger meant looking older,
needing to grow up FAST,
choosing my soul's disguise~
~12 going on 20,
still a child inside,
soon buried under years of pain,
eventually hiding under the shame
of all the weight I'd gained...
...only when love entered into
my wounded, abandoned heart
did I even attempt to shed
the protection I'd found
beneath the layers of my past
constantly surrounding me~
~Healing has come slowly,
but each day, victory comes,
brick by brick, the wall around my heart
is being chiseled away,
once firmly held in place
by my excess weight~
~And as I choose the real food
that brings my healing to life,
I let the imitations go
& see them for the fool's gold
they've always been
& will remain!
No more hiding my heart,
buried in yesterday's pain,
it's time to feel
EVERYTHING
& live freely again!
Running, dancing, playing,
joyfully obeying
the Father's will & calling,
coming home...
...& staying!!!
~By Anastazia~
*July, 2008*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
From Glory to Glory!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Others look, & see the wall
around me still,
but You, Lord, see it fall!
And I know others look on
the outward parts,
but Your Word promises
You look on the heart!
Others tend to analyze,
judging the book
by it's cover & size,
but You see through
my disguise!!!
Others may not like what they see
when they look at me,
but Father, You see me FREE!
Others don't seem to understand
the things You've shown me You have planned,
...still, You hold me steady, while transforming me
in the palm of Your loving hand!
Others wonder how & when
You'll set me free completely~
They don't realize, Lord,
You already have!!!
It's just still manifesting!!!
~By Anastazia~
*July, 2008*
July 26, 2008
~I'm sew thankful!~
Yesterday, I spent a few hours building a new blog to share some of the things I've sewn & quilted....some of them (only music bags right now, but lots more to come!) are for sale, & I'd love to get your feedback & input on it!
(Especially on what to price the bags for, I always have such a hard time with that!)
So please, come visit & leave me some feedback! {I had so much fun gathering the pictures of women sewing all over the world!}
Here's the link: http://sewthankful.blogspot.com/
So how's your rawness? Mine's gettin' there, was hopin' to be 100% again, but am really, really close! The scale has NOT moved {except that it went UP there for a few days! *sigh*} for DAYS!
But I've also barely been sleeping sinse I broke raw...was up all night until noon today, then layed down for anout 3.5 hours...I'm really hoping to go to bed early tonight, & FINALLY get it turned around....yes, again!
My friend Shannon just let me know she found a dehydrator at a yard sale, so she's giving me hers!!!! Wooohoo, I'm sooooooo excited, & gathering up all the recipes (& ingredients!) I've been waitin' to try! & it's just in time for the 100% raw for 100 days challenge I'm doing at a site called RawFu!
Come check it out, it's an amazing new raw community that's sprung up after a woman named Bunny (well Beth, but she's called Bunny, I guess cuz she eats like one!) went raw for 100 days, & has now challenged others to join her....& over 600 have!!!
Here's the link: http://raw100.ning.com/ If that doesn't work, let me know, that's my home page, so it may not! I think you actually have to sign up to access it, not sure...I'll go ask, & when I find out, I'll let you know, K? Her's the link to Bunny's blog, you gotta check out her video's (they're on you tube, too!) she's very REAL, & has a great sense of humor!
{& there should be a link to the site on her blog!}
Anyways, have a wonderfully raw day....night....whichever you're in the middle of! get some sunshine, & as Bunny says, "Eat your veggies!"
{...before they eat you!!!!!}
{Don'tcha just wanna give this guy a big kiss???!?
Ok, never mind, I think I've been single too long! He looks kinda yummy to me!}
July 25, 2008
~The purpose of Change~
Even when years seem to go by with nothing much changing, things continue to change all around us....& in us...
Even when we're not purposely, consciously changing, we change, we grow, we continue to become more of who we really are...it's like when you meet someone older, & talk for awhile, you can see all they've learned, but still see the little kid in them!
We're always who we always were, but still, we change. Some fight this fact, some exaggerate this fact, but nothing changes this fact.
I look back & can see that some things I thought would never change are different. I can tell that, when I wasn't paying attention, I grew. I realize now that with time came a maturity in how I handle change I never had in my youth.
How I handle my weight, & food, for example, is different. I never used to want to eat in front of others because of previous experiences, looks, comments of others judging, saying hurtful things....even if what I was eating was very healthy...because of my obesity...like their comments & looks were as if they were thinking I shouldn't have been eating at all!
In fact, a boyfriend once said to me in a drunken moment of candor, "Why don't you just stop eating till you've dropped 100 pounds!" (At a party in front of everyone, embarrassed by their learning of my size, though it never seemed to bother him previously...)
And women can be far crueler than men with this, sad to say! But I've come to realize that their own insecurities, & fear of gaining weight, was staring them in the face when they observed me... ...there have been studies done where they ask young girls (in KINDERGARTEN, I believe it was!) if they'd rather be fat or... {fill in the blank...sick, poor, ugly!} & they almost ALWAYS chose anything but fat!
I remember being shocked that one of the questions was "Would you rather not have a mom, or be fat?" & STILL they'd give up their own mother rather than carry extra weight around!!! Aside from the possible damage done to even be asked (& compelled to consider, & answer) such a question, I was sooooo grieved that the brainwashing of our culture has so permeated even our youngest members that they would give up their most loved one rather than be what they've been taught to hate!
I've never felt the way many children clearly do now, but it's not hard to understand, given our culture's constant messages about bodies...having carried more weight than my peers from at least 11 years of age, {whether a little or a lot...the numbers on the scale gradually climbed...} I've just naturally developed such compassion on those struggling to be free from obesity, as I have been for most of my life...
And one day, when I've climbed out of this fat suit I've worn so long, I will always carry a little pamphlet I'm writing around with me, ready to give to anyone I'm led to, to share my story, with info on real, whole, raw foods, & how I was set free, with links to the best sites to learn more, with a recommended reading list, & encouragement to allow others to be there for them along the way...
...it will also contain my e-mail address, & this blog address, if they'd like to get in touch, whenever they're ready to begin...because the truth is, change is inevitable...& happens more effectively when we share the journey openly, with compassion, kindness & truth...no longer hiding, or in shame, feeling hopeless, like it'll never change!
Raw works! It's the God-given CURE for obesity, & I know it WILL work for anyone who is willing to follow through consistantly...as I'm learning to do...and yes, as I change, & the things that needed changing in my life are finally being transformed & healed....
{...because I stopped resisting change!}
Even when we're not purposely, consciously changing, we change, we grow, we continue to become more of who we really are...it's like when you meet someone older, & talk for awhile, you can see all they've learned, but still see the little kid in them!
We're always who we always were, but still, we change. Some fight this fact, some exaggerate this fact, but nothing changes this fact.
I look back & can see that some things I thought would never change are different. I can tell that, when I wasn't paying attention, I grew. I realize now that with time came a maturity in how I handle change I never had in my youth.
How I handle my weight, & food, for example, is different. I never used to want to eat in front of others because of previous experiences, looks, comments of others judging, saying hurtful things....even if what I was eating was very healthy...because of my obesity...like their comments & looks were as if they were thinking I shouldn't have been eating at all!
In fact, a boyfriend once said to me in a drunken moment of candor, "Why don't you just stop eating till you've dropped 100 pounds!" (At a party in front of everyone, embarrassed by their learning of my size, though it never seemed to bother him previously...)
And women can be far crueler than men with this, sad to say! But I've come to realize that their own insecurities, & fear of gaining weight, was staring them in the face when they observed me... ...there have been studies done where they ask young girls (in KINDERGARTEN, I believe it was!) if they'd rather be fat or... {fill in the blank...sick, poor, ugly!} & they almost ALWAYS chose anything but fat!
I remember being shocked that one of the questions was "Would you rather not have a mom, or be fat?" & STILL they'd give up their own mother rather than carry extra weight around!!! Aside from the possible damage done to even be asked (& compelled to consider, & answer) such a question, I was sooooo grieved that the brainwashing of our culture has so permeated even our youngest members that they would give up their most loved one rather than be what they've been taught to hate!
I've never felt the way many children clearly do now, but it's not hard to understand, given our culture's constant messages about bodies...having carried more weight than my peers from at least 11 years of age, {whether a little or a lot...the numbers on the scale gradually climbed...} I've just naturally developed such compassion on those struggling to be free from obesity, as I have been for most of my life...
And one day, when I've climbed out of this fat suit I've worn so long, I will always carry a little pamphlet I'm writing around with me, ready to give to anyone I'm led to, to share my story, with info on real, whole, raw foods, & how I was set free, with links to the best sites to learn more, with a recommended reading list, & encouragement to allow others to be there for them along the way...
...it will also contain my e-mail address, & this blog address, if they'd like to get in touch, whenever they're ready to begin...because the truth is, change is inevitable...& happens more effectively when we share the journey openly, with compassion, kindness & truth...no longer hiding, or in shame, feeling hopeless, like it'll never change!
Raw works! It's the God-given CURE for obesity, & I know it WILL work for anyone who is willing to follow through consistantly...as I'm learning to do...and yes, as I change, & the things that needed changing in my life are finally being transformed & healed....
{...because I stopped resisting change!}
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