~Doctors need Raw, too~

Well, I finally made it to the Dr's, went over all my symptoms, discussed the way my legs have been so painful, heavy, hard to use....we discussed my sis wanting me to get tested for (MS) because of it being in my family, & she said based on my symptoms, she thinks it's much more likely to be Metabolic Syndrome, a pre-diabetic condition that greatly increases the risk of strokes & heart attacks, (&, of course, diabetes, which I know I'm at risk of, having had Gestational Diabetes, & not having my gallbladder.)
So I need to go get my cholesterol & blood sugar levels tested, asap~
Finding this out was another wake-up call. It scared me, made me accept how precarious my health really is.
I know of numerous women younger than me, a hundred pounds LESS than me, drop dead from heart attacks from obesity.
My sister's response, after having Hannah there for a month, & dealing with the homeschooling stresses, was, "If you die I'm NOT homeschooling her!" I know my life & times are in God's hands, & i don't fear death, but i don't want to accelerate the process through neglecting to do what i know i must do to be restored to health. I'm not done what i was put here to do!
Last time I saw my doctor, she was wanting to put me on the pill to regulate my cycle, (I have PCOS) & I refused, (due to the increased risk of stroke/heart attack) & told her about raw, & shared my confidence that I could turn things around with it... yet i haven't, not significantly, & certainly not enough to regulate my periods. (The risk of not doing so is increased likelihood of endometrial/uterine cancer.)
I've been reading numerous Raw Coaches lately saying it's ok to take however long you need to transition, even years...i know now, for sure, that this is NOT an option for me!!!
My Dr. has gained a lot of weight in the last few years, sinse I began going to her, & said she knew about raw, & wished she could stick with it, too~
I felt so convicted when she said she was really hoping to see that I'd succeeded, she said if she SAW someone doing it, it would help her! I feel like I've let her down, too...not just myself & my loved ones, {especially Hannah...}
So then, I came home, after not eating anything but an apple all day, & did a BUNCH of emotional eating....in discussing it with my raw coach later (Shannon), we totalled up the calories, & it must've been over 3000...no idea how many grams of fat...*sigh*...haven't done that in awhile, I felt gross afterwards, & had chest pains, nauseous, difficulty catching my breath, difficulty sleeping last night...& determined to not allow stress to affect my eating anymore...ever....(things've been intense all week, kept me from following through on the green smoothie/salad thing, though i have been doing lots of smoothies, almost daily...)
So here i am, still feeling very toxic, & trying to get moving, i have so much to do before Hannah comes home Tuesday, but all my body wants to do is sleep...or at least sit....but the moment I'm done writing, I'm back to pushing myself, 5 minutes at a time, & getting on my (finally unburied) treadmill & stepper again ten times a day each (I have been using it, but not with specific goals, just as i felt up to it...)...i know i can only do 2-3 minutes at a time, so I'm focussing on frequency, not intensity, knowing those minutes add up. I remember when i had gesatational diabetes, they said it was most important to exercise right after a meal, to help your body regulate insulin properly, so though it's the hardest time to move, that's when I'm going to focus on getting up & doing something, anything to start reversing this!
{ I wanted to post a link about Metabolic Syndrome, but I've been having difficulties posting links or photo's lately, & haven't had time to mess with it...}
I will not keep destroying my pancreas. I will NOT allow myself to develop full-blown diabetes. I will not keep tearing down my health as I'm trying to build it up...& I will go make a smoothie, & get moving, right now!