~Back & forth, like a see-saw~

Had a very emotional last few daze...had a nice visit with my sis, but other family stuff was very upsetting, & I didn't stay raw while she was here, she got KFC & popcorn & other junk & I allowed myself to indulge, & now feel like I've been hit by a truck....
...my head, tooth, & back hurt badly, I'm exhausted, & just want to do a fast to get back on track as quick as possible, but don't know if I'm up to it...we'll see how the day progresses....just finished oil pulling, & it's helped my tooth settle down, but I need to get it fixed soon!
I long to get to the place where no matter what's going on in my daily life, my commitment to doing what I know I need to do to get healthy is consistant & strong! I so much want to be there, & STAY there, but I guess I'm just not there yet...but I will persevere, & will NOT throw in the towel, as they say!
Been exercising more, stretching & using my hand weights, & getting out my physioball again, haven't been walking much (but could be on my feet longer than usual the last few times I went out!) or using the treadmill yet, but am hoping today I'll get organized & do that~
I long for the way it feels to wake up rested after a full night's sleep & have energy all through the day to do all that needs to be done...right now, I wanna crawl back into bed (just got up 2 hours ago!) but there are a ton of dirty dishes waiting for me, & the landlord wants to come over & fix some things, so I guess I better get dressed & get on with the day...wanna make a smoothie, but worried it'll aggrevate my toothache, so won't...wish I had some lemons, or stuff for the master cleanse...
...keep me in your prayers, please! I need His hand on my life, guiding & restoring me...I need complete RAWstoration!!!

~Cravings, Cravings, Cravings~

Woke up today craving....are you ready for this??? OIL PULLING!!!! It's like my mouth, gums, teeth were saying, "Why did you STOP?!?!?!" So I went & found the organic cold pressed sesame oil, & am doing it now as I type...
...& after eating my big yummy salad yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about SPROUTS! Time to start growing them again!
We're working on getting the little garden patch in our new yard going, I have no clue how to do organic gardening here, & only have a little time to prepare before we need to plant!
I accidentally turned off the freezer last night, so I'm going to have to eat all my berries & frozen rhubarb today! It'll be a sweet smoothie day, for sure!
God has been so good to us lately, in so many ways! I just got hired to make a queen-sized quilt for some friends, I have no idea what I'm going to get paid, but I just got the $ to go get the supplies...because it's for friends, we have yet to discuss my commission...but I have a vision for it, & am excited to get started on it!
...& earlier, they offered to cover the costs of a trip to Vancouver for Hannah & I later on in the summer (we haven't been back sinse we moved almost 5 years ago!) so I have to have it done by then!
Ok, gotta go spit this oil out, talk to y'all tomorrow!
Keep walkin' in faith, one step at a time!
It's so georgous out, I'm aiming to get out in the sun & do some walking myself today...in faith, of course! *grin* & I hope to start using the treadmill daily now, as well! My sis is on her way for a visit, so gotta get things ready for that, too, & plan out a yummy raw menu!

Um, Hello again...(she says sheepishly...)

What happened? Where DID the time go?!?!?! I kinda fell off the wagon, at first cuz i ran out produce & $, (the ends of the month are always the hardest, *sigh*) but then, once off, it's taken me awhile to fully climb back on & stay....so yup, I'm starting again today...crazy-gluin' my butt to the wagon right now!!!
Haven't weighted in yet, sinse then....shoud I go see? I don't WANT to!!! Ok, Ok, I will, just a sec...
*Gulp* Gained back a few...7, to be exact...was at 363, back up to 370...*SIGH*...well, at least it's not MORE, which I wouldn't have been too suprized by...I did eat more raw that I used to when I go off 100%, thank(s) God!
I tend towards all or nothing thinking/actions, but am learning more balance, & seeing that the more raw I eat the better I feel (duh!) even if not 100% raw, so it wasn't like previous slip-ups, where I just went right back to the SAD food I used to eat.
I have finally learned (& accepted!) that my body does NOT want meat, I can no longer properly digest it, for one thing...(rotton egg burps afterwards=not enough hydrocloric acid in the stomach to digest it, I believe) & my digestive system just shuts down afterwards, no more how much fiber I consume with it...(knowing it has no fiber) & also, I've realized that I crash & burn FASTER than I ever used to after too much sugar (which I used to be able to consume in VAST quantities, I confess!), in fact, I can predict that I'll be falling asleep within the hour after eating it, even when I'm not tired at all! SCARY! GOTTA go get those blood tests done, I know my blood sugars are outa whack!
Ok, enough of all that, I'm back, I'm raw, I'm ready to get on with it! Anybody still checkin' in on me??? Don't give up on me, please!
Soon I'll have a victorious testimony of ALL RAW has done for me, & I want you to share in the journey, & the celebrating!!!
K, I'm off to make a yummy green & berry smoothie! Who needs bananas? (Well, me, actually, but I'll make do!) Wanna join me?

~Watermelon 4 Breakfast~

WATERMELON!!! It's replaced CHOCOLATE as my breakfast of choice!!!
I went to the health food store & was thrilled to discover that the cost of melons, berries, & lotsa other produce faves has come way down...I now have an abundance of everything!!! (Nice change from always runnin' outa money before the end of the month! Stayin' raw will be so much easier now!)
I LOVE spring! I feel like a blossoming garden coming outa hibernation, & though I've been experiencing some detox from moving back towards 100% raw, I still feel better by the day!
Ok, that's a LOTTA exclamation points!!!
Wish Biggest Loser wasn't over, it inspires me so much! I'm still so thrilled that a woman finally won!!! Jillian may be a big...make that LITTLE meanie, but she sure is effective!
Wish I could hire a trainer...or had a car to go the new women's only gym, or swimming in our city's pool that uses ozone & only a wee bit of chlorine! (Not that I have a bathing suit, or would wear one in public..yet!) Future goals! I'm determined to be driving again very soon!
I'm only down 2 lbs, but better down than up, right?!! & God has given me such a peace that this really is the year for my transformation to unfold in tangible, physical ways...
all the things He's been doing on the inside of my are finally beginning to be reflected on the outside...
...though still, the only one who's noticed is my nearly blind friend! (I guess the blur she sees is smaller...kinda like when ya squint to see things clearer, I guess that's why only she's noticed so far! Lol!)
Off to go make some watermelon juice! (Still have half a big one left!) & a big salad for dinner...yum! It's so amazing that I salivate for salads now! *grin*
Verse of the day..."Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS, & AGAIN, I say, REJOICE!"

~Settling in, Ready to Begin Again~

Well, I turned 43 yesterday! Hannah threw me a fun surprise party...an outdoor picnic, but it SNOWED the day before, & was sooooo cold yesterday, so we didn't finish outdoors!
I was given 43 gifts, (she's so sweet, she got everyone in on it! Even the kitties & her favorite stuffies!) & one of them was a plate fulla raw treats, as well as a raw recipe book! Woohoo!
I've been only about 60-75% raw, & feeling the difference, big time, so it's time to get back on track! I've been reading more & more about juice feasting, & am seriously eager to pursue this, I've been feeling rather toxic lately (having to take painkillers, & I have a cold right now) & am eager to get back to improving by the day!
I figured out that the last 12+ pounds that left my body (when I'd expected to have gained, or just stayed the same, based on my lack of exercise & eating too many unhealthy foods) happened shortly after when I 'd begun to ingest a few tablespoons of coconut oil a day! (As well as more consistant oil pulling...hmmm...)
The more I've read about coconut oils, the more impressed I am with their benefits. Some brands definately taste better than others, though! The one I love just off the spoon is from Omenga Nutrition, the best deal on the one I use for my skin & any cooking Hannah does is by Wilderness Family Naturals. I'll try to post some links later to the articles about the benefits of organic virgin coconut oil, when I dig them out.
I finally have my living room set up to exercise! Even with this yucky cold affecting my breathing, & how fatigued I still am, I begin again today! & my upstairs neighbour has an electric treadmill in the laundryroom & is willing to let me use it, so today's the day I start on that, too! And when it warms up a bit, the daily walks are going to happen, as well!
{Hold me accountable, people! *grin* }

~Craving simplicity~

Moving is such a wonderful new beginning! It has me doing some major spring cleaning, in my home, & in my body...I've been craving simple mono meals, & simpler salads than usual. I'm serviously contemplating a juice fast, but wish I could afford to do a juice feast! As soon as I have grocery $ again, I plan on getting started!
Finally weighed in yesterday, & was suprized that I've lost the weight I'd re-gained, & then some...when I went shopping the other day, it was actually a little easier to walk, & be on my feet as long as it took.
I still have yet to begin my daily walking program, but my upstairs neighbour has allowed me to share use of her beautiful electric treadmill, which I hope to get going on today, while doing laundry!
God has been so good to us, in so many ways,& I'm overwhelmed at times with thankfulness for all His ways of guiding & providing~
May you be increasingly aware each day of His merciful lovingkindness, & His power to heal & restore!

~Home Sweet, Sweet Home~

Here we are in our sweet little basement suite, lovin' it! We both feel soooo at home here, & know this is where we belong! The only glitch is, we couldn't get Hannah's piano down the stairs & around the corner, so it's sitting in the carport, tarped, waiting for a buyer!
I totally fell off the raw wagon during the last week or so of packing, & sinse moving in...I've still had a fair amount of raw, but nowhere near 100%, like I aim to be...& boy, am I feeling it! Not to mention regretting it, but I just had so little free time or energy to do food prep, & people kept showing up with McD's & ordering pizza!
Now I know I gotta plan better & be prepared for QUICK raw meals next time something so stressful & time consuming is going on in my life...live & learn...
I've been quite exhausted sinse the move,{& have been needing painkillers to sleep, & cuz of a major toothache!) but not as bad as last time, when I had my first MS symptoms after moving, a year ago...(couldn't hardly walk for 3 weeks, among other things...)
I'm trying to GENTLY push myself to get doing more, but still haven't got a whole lot accomplished...have a meeting tonight, & things to do all week, so no more hibernating...will weigh in one of these daze soon (just unpacked the scale) & am hoping to start taking daily walks with Hannah ASAP! My legs feel like they're made of cement, though, still, so it ain't goona be far, at first!
Anyways, sorry for dissapearing on y'all...I'm back, & back to raw!
Off to make a big smoothie for a late breakfast! Have a wonderful spring week!

~His good, & acceptable & PERFECT will~

Life has been such a roller-coaster lately! I'm so swamped with packing, & making all the arrangements for moving, but thought I'd come update y'all! {Anyone still reading???}
I'd found a basement to rent, not too bad, a fireplace, even, good location, but high rent for what it was...so I took the place (& the Landlord chose us over 40 others that wanted it...)but a few days later, I went to talk with the tenant who lives there now, after realizing the Lordlord only told me about 2 of the 3 neighbours (& not about the one who lives above the suite!)
I'm so glad I went & asked questions, the people upstairs are MAJOR noisy partiers, leave bottles everywhere, have a booming stereo on at all hours, people over all weekend, & there's cigarette smoke coming in through the vents (which I strongly react to!)
So I called the landlord, discussed it with him, & asked for one night to pray it through & decide what to do...as I was praying that night, struggling, knowing it would be stressful to deal with neighbours like that, but also acutely aware of how few affordable places are available here, I could feel the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit, asking, "Will you trust Me?"
Of course, with my spirit, I cried out, "Yes!" but still, I struggled with the fear that there would be no other place for us to move to, with the shortage, & it already being the middle of the month, almost!Also, it's the only place we've ever found we could (almost) afford that has a fireplace, & Hannah's wanted one sinse she was 2!
Then, the verse that talks about knowing the good, the acceptable, & the PERFECT will of God came to mind...& the Lord showed me that the first place we looked at was good...but we didn't get it...the 2nd place was (just) acceptable...but would I trust Him to lead us into His PERFECT will?
So I surrendered...& the next day, I called & let that place go...then, my friend told me about a place she'd mentioned before that I hadn't considered because it only has one bedroom...but something told me to re-consider...
So we went to look at it....& it's soooo PERFECT for us! & it's OURS! I just signed a year's lease!!! It's everything we BOTH wanted, & more! Here's the bonuses:
~ a GAS fireplace (no dealing with wood, smoke...we'll ventilate to keep the gas out of the air, & it's BEAUTIFUL, like new! {The other one had broken stones, was old, etc.}
~A BIG rasberry bush!!!
My ABSALUTE FAVORITE FRUIT!!! (ORGANIC, TOO!)
~ A cherry tree & a grape vine! (Yes, organic!)
~A big cold room to store produce in, so I can stock up to be able to STAY raw, & not have a litchen fulla fruit flies!
~They're willing to take the stove out, & I'll just get a hotplate for Hannah's occasional use, maybe a toaster over...so more counter space!
~TWO kitchen sinks!!! (I'm sooo weary of doing dishes in one, & trying to teach Hannah to without making a mess or wasting a ton of water!)
~ A BIG yard, even a little platform in a tree where hannah can drag up a blanket, pillow, & some books for a sunny afternoon of reading!
~The most amazing thing is it's less than a block from the place we just lived for 4 years, before where we are now...& it's the house Hannah used to dream about one day living in, used to lay on their grassy hill, & think about what it was like inside...I remember she was so upset when a "For Sale" sign appeared on the lawn, she came to me & asked if there was any possible way we could buy it! {She was concerned the new owners wouldn't be so nice & let her lay on their lawn!} It's owned by a Christian homeschooling family we've met a few times in the H-school support meetings...{it used to be owned by their mom, who was the lady so nice to Hannah!}
There are so many other benefits, & things we love about it...we're both in AWE at God's provision, & how He knew the desires of our hearts, & how ALL of them are being met here! It's so supportive of all my goals for getting healthy, good neighbourhood to walk in, even a big electric treadmill in the laundryroom we share with the lady & her son upstairs that I'm hoping I'll be able to use!
~And there's even a shed to keep our bikes in rather than the hall! {Well, Hannah's bike, but I want to get one soon, & start riding again! Likely can once I'm down another 75-100 lbs or so!}

~Surrendering~

it's been very unsettling, not knowing where we'll be moving, even which city our new home'll be in...much as we love being here, & would like to stay, it may be that the only door that opens in where my sis lives...(the door to Vancouver seems to have closed...for now?)
I've been losing too much sleep over it, & allowing myself to have conversations about it coming from a place of fear, but I KNOW that God has a place for us, & will lead me there, if I just seek, ask, wait...so that's what I've been doing...surrendering....again.
God's been bringing things to the surface, peeling back more layers of my life, getting down to the core...{I love how the Holy Spirit is called "the counsellor", & "the comforter"...He really has been mine!} I've been facing my feeling of being 'homeless' since I left home at 12, wandering, never one place more than a few years, often way less than that...the first time I ever really felt at home was when I married, but not even 6 years later, I was a single mom, on my own with a newborn, starting over.
It's kinda like how it's been with my health...facing things, starting over, healing in layers...as I'm going deeper, as He's healing me more, I'm feeling all the feelings I numbed out for years with comfort foods, & my heart feels so RAW (ok, pun intended!) & vulnerable & yet more open than before to going deeper...but still, cautious.
I love how, when I stay 100% raw, I feel stronger, not just physically, but emotionally, day by day...I haven't exactly felt it's opposite (weak) but more just quite careful who I'm too open with (I've always tended towards being too open, sharing too much, & still have a hard time curbing that, so I've been more selective of who I leave myself vulnerable to...)
I'm able to speak the truth in love more...not just blurt it out, only thinking of what I need to say, & forgetting about the other person's feelings...I feel more alive, the more I eat living, whole foods...more compassionate to others & the struggles they face, knowing how much going raw would help them, yet knowing that changing eating habits is almost as tough for most folks as changing their religion!
All this is really just trying to say that, though I've been struggling lately to stay raw, (financially, & emotionally) as soon as I return to it, I see the huge difference it makes to my life in so many ways, {& so quickly, too!} & learn, once more, that this really is God's highest will for me, for my health's RAWstoration, & for my future! I can't see ever goin' back!!! So even though I gained a few pounds back the last week or so, only being partially raw, it's ok, I'm back in the saddle again!
{And one day I'll be light enough to go ride a real horse with Hannah! That's my goal for hopefully next summer/fall!}

~Pain, pain, walking in the rain~

Been struggling, financially, & sometimes emotionally the last few daze, to stay 100% raw....am eating as much raw as I can...
...One day my pain is managable, the next, it's all I can do to get through the day, getting barely anything done, yet so much to do...feeling stressed about moving, talked with my landlord today, no way I can extend it another month. Am considering leaving my beloved hometown, to either the Edmonton area, where my sis & her family is, or back to the coast, where the rain is too plentious...I actually moved there cuz I love the rain, but after 7 years there before my marriage, & 7 years after, it's hard to imagine givinng up the sunshine here....but there are other things there drawing me back...lotsa praying to do, not much time left to decide...
....I made some yummy applesauce today, & am in awe at how much better organic cinnamon tastes compared to the typical kind...it's ALIVE with flavor!!! Haven't had much appetite (which is good, with how little prodice I have left! Lol!) but I've really been craving watermelon lately, & avacadoes with salsa on them!
If you're a pray-er, please keep me in your prayers, for strength & healing in my legs, so I can keep packing, sorting, weeding out, & for wisdom & discernment about where God wants us...we both would rather stay here, but know it may be time to move away.
Eat healthy, real food, move, get some shunshine, as Hannah used to call it, & have a good sleep, k?

Where Else Would I Go?

I was just commenting on Shannon's blog, (yes she's posting again, doing a 30 day raw challenge with her daughter! Go pop over for a visit! The link is off to the side here on my blog...) & she was saying she'd never give up on Raw Living! {Which I know is true...}
My response to her was that it was kinda like when Jesus asked the disciples, "Will you, too, leave me?" (after those that followed Him only for the miracles, & the 'free meal' left).
Once He's made clear {especially by the evidence of what actually happens in us when we 'go raw'!} that He created us to live on the things HE made for food (& not man's poor imitations) how can we return to just following our carnal cravings, our appetite that can & often does go against common sense, evidence, & the fruit of the spirit of self-control?
Food is created to nourish & strengthen us, & is obviously good, & necessary...
...(occasional, special occasion) feasting is God's idea {as well as seasons of fasting!} but gluttony is clearly sin, because it's destructive to our bodies, created to glorify Him, & be the temple of His Holy Spirit.
I'm beginning to see indulging in junk food as gluttony, whether I overeat or not, knowing that it's tearing down what Raw Living has been building up, & that it's all about what my flesh wants, & my flesh nature determining my choices, not my spirit, & my will, submitted to His revealed will.
The Bible says we're to have moderation in all things...I'm not a vegan for moral reasons (aside from hating the way most animals raised for consumption are treated!) because God said everything He created for food, not to call unclean...yes, there are unclean meats that are very destructive to the body...for example, pork, which has been proven to cause the same changes in your cells that cancer does! (& knowing it HAS to be FULLY cooked or the little white worms often found in it will survive is just GROSS!) & all crustaceans, which eat the garbage off the bottom of the ocean...God knows why certain foods are harmful, & warned against them, long before the science behind His reasons was ever discovered!
Meat was eaten in the Bible...but on rare occasions...it was in small amounts (not the main course!) & I've learned that back then meat was around 5% fat...now it's 45% or more! & kosher meat was drained of the blood for a reason..."the life is in the blood", as are diseases, etc. Perhaps that occasional use of small amounts of meat prevented any B12 issues, or anemia, without them needing to have access to all the info/science we have now to know the possible deficiencies on a raw diet.
Grains were eaten, yes, but weren't heavily sprayed, as now...bread was called, "The staff of life" but was often sprouted, & again, not full of pesticides, etc. The soil had so many more nutrients in it back then (even a hundred years ago) that I don't think I'd attempt to do this without eating as much organic as possible!
All this is just to say that I will never return to my old way of eating...how could I? God has placed me in this incredible garden, and said, "THIS is what I've given you for food."
How could I now say, "No, Father, I want to fuel my body with GARBAGE, all these yummy imitation things! I don't want to think about the consequences!"
It would be like when the Israelites complained about missing garlic & onions when God brought them out of Egypt (which represents the world system) & got bored with Manna, the perfect, complete food God provided for them daily! Or when they lusted & longed after meat, & so God filled the sky with quail, & they ate so much, they DIED!
How could I ever really be bored with all He's made for food??? I could eat a different fruit or vegetable every day of my life & STILL not have tasted them all! (Of course it would require shopping in some international markets...if I didn't know they use pesticides we've banned here, I would do that more often!)
I have no choice now but to think about the consequences of everything I put into this vehicle I live in...the consequences of all my foolish choices have caught up with me, & if I don't continue to change, & follow God's ways, rather than my own, I will definitely shorten the time I get to be here to serve Him & others.
So, even when I struggle, or yeild to my old appetites, I will just quickly return to fueling my body the way God planned, & allow Him to heal me more, one day at a time...
...& this is what I wish for you, Shannon, & all my other fellow Rawbies!
As Christians, the Bible says we've been bought & paid for with a price, & we are no longer only our own! So let's allow our lives to reflect that we know who we belong to, & that our hearts are set to obey the owner's instructions on how to care for His temple!
And for those that don't yet know Him as Father, & Jesus as Lord, He loves you, He made you, & He's here for you! Do you hear Him calling your name?

~Fate vs Faith~

Someone asked a question over at RFT about fate...it got me thinking about how this relates to our dealing with health issues...all of the responses were basically New Age, I shared my Christian persepective on it, (hoping I haven't offended, or stepped on toes...no responses to it yet...)& am now thinking about how what I believe affects my health.
First of all, here's the post I'm referring to:
http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/showthread.php?t=38437
{My comment's on the bottom of the 1st page...}
It's when I truly repented for my gluttony & slothfulness that things truly began to change. I tried many times, in my own efforts, to be consistant, & do what I needed to do, but only when I saw it for the sin it was to be digging my own grave with my fork, defiling & destroying my body with my habits that I was filled with the fruit of the Spirit of Self-control.
When I was a New Ager, much as I believed the "I created it", & "I manifested it because...", still, I was able to justify & excuse all sorts of things, & didn't ever really take full responsibility for the consequences of my choices & actions...{pretty easy to avoid when you believe in karma & past lives!}
When my actions affected mainly ME in my thinking, (not a Holy God I was accountable to, or others, as my brother's keeper) it was very difficult to truly change...now I believe that, much as we can change certain outward things, only God can change {transform, heal, restore,} our hearts & lives to true wholeness...when we co-operate, & are willing to see things through His eyes, rather than only our own limited perspective.
Anyways, I'm beginning to fully trust (& experience!) that my weight & health problems will be overcome by His grace & power in me to do what He sets before me each day to do...one day at a time!
"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"...
...& "Without Him, I can do NOTHING!"

Where is our focus?

I've been thinking a lot about how I spend my time, & what my focus is on during the day...Raw living takes more time than SAD eating for food prep, plus I'm reading a fair amount about it on a regular basis, to keep learning (& stay focused!), & am spending time each day on Raw Food Talk, for support, encouragement, & to help others, & to keep learning...
I'm also exercising daily, {thought the day, can't do too much in a row} & am reading & trying new recipes.
What I've been seeing is that I need to strive to get & keep my focus on spiritual things more than physical...the Bible says, "Food for the belly, the belly for foods, but all these things will pass away..." & "Seek ye FIRST the Kingdom of God, & His righteousness..."
I'm realizing that it's so easy to have this way of living take as much focus & energy as my walk with God used to...in fact, my prayer life has changed, & even suffered some from all the time I'm investing in getting healthy...& often my conversations with people are about health & nutrition more than the things of God...& my concern for people has been about their health problems more than their souls lately. This has even affected the way I'm praying!
I've been under conviction about this for a little while now...I know as more & more weight comes off, there will be many more conversations about it, & more people I can help...so I want to really learn now to keep my focus on what matters eternally more than the temporal concerns we all have...
...after all, the purpose of my looking after the temple of the Holy Spirit (my body!) is to be able to serve God more effectively, for ALL the time God has originally planned for me to be here!
{I just read a study that said vegetarians live, on average, 5 years longer than carnivores, & vegans, 15 years! I have no doubt that RAW vegans extend their lifespans even longer than that!}
I just want every day to count for eternity, & don't want to spend inordinate amounts of time focused on the things of the flesh! One day I know I'll be in my glorified, resurrected body, & all the things I have going on in this body will be irrelevant & forgotten!
So all this is just to say, I'm going to begin sharing more of the things God is teaching on this journey back to health, & less about the natural realm...k?
Yes, I'll still share the things I'm learning & doing, & what RAW is doing in me...just not to the exclusion of what God is doing in me!

Nourishment on a cellular level....

The most amazing thing about eating raw, live foods is that I can feel the cahnges happening on a cellular leve it seems! I feel nourished, it's sooo different than eating the typical SAD diet when shortly after a meal, I'd feel hungry again, & soon be wondering what to eat next!
(Because my cells weren't getting fed thnigs that were healthy for their reporduction!!!)
Malnourished, yet obese & over-eating, physically full, but hungry on a cellular level!
Yes,I've decided I'm definately going to do a juice/smoothie fast, starting the first of March (if not sooner)....I have a lot of salad things, & nuts, etc. so I'll wait until I've gone through those, & will continue with my morning green smoothie, & juice once a day until then.
I feel like I'm starting to get into a deeper layer of detox, & want to get through it quickly...
...also, I'll be moving at the end of March, last time I moved (10 months ago?) it wiped me out for weeks, & I felt like & was having a heart attack on moving day, chest pains, soaked in sweat, wiped out,couldn't even walk, then had the MS symptoms show up a little while later that lasted for a few weeks (MS attacks are triggered by stress!) so I've been packing slowly for the last few months, & am going to use a real company this time, not a private one who left a LOT of the work to me!
I put off the move until now because I knew the longer I was raw first, & the more weight I release before then, the easier I'll be able to handle it all!
Picture taking day today! (As soon as Hannah's done h-schooling!) & I'll post them ASAP! (With Shannon's help!)
My knees are suddenly much better (prayer, & rebounding!) so I'm hoping to go for a walk today in the georgous sunshine!
keep on pursuing RAWstoration in your lives, y'all! I know I will!

Powerful pineapple!

Wowee, do I LOVE tropical fruit! Got kiwi's, a mango, papaya & a juicy sweet pineapple! & a bunch of stuff for juicing & smoothies that I plan on making tons of this week!
(I'm seriously considering doing a smoothie/juicing detox fast, with some herbal stuff to help, feeling kinda sluggish & slow lately!)
My knees are really, really sore still, & cracking every time I get up or sit down! It's really been hindering my walking plans & goals, which is especially frustrating with the sun blazing every day! Spring has definately sprung! {I am working out at home as much as possible without aggrevating them, but not near as much as I'd like to!}
I haven't weighed in sinse last time, keep forgetting in the mornings, but a few days after last time, I was 2 down from my last weigh-in, so it's still coming off, slowly but Shirley! (Whoever Shirley is!)
I'm really starting to feel a little more energy...sleep helps! I finally broke down & got some herbal sleep aids, & slept last night for the whole night through for the 1st time in eons!
I can't believe spring is right around the corner! No more covering up under my jacket, & hopefully soon I'll be able to fit into some of the other clothes I have, right now I basically have 2 shirts I can leave the house in, the rest are still too tight! I actually have a bunch of like new clothes in size 2x that i hope to fit into soon (before the summer is over would be wonderful!)
I forgot to take my measurements so I will in the morning! & I discovered the video card is missing from my camera so I STILL can't make a video until I get a new one! *sigh* I will ASAP! Life goes on....life goes RAW! This is the way to live!!! Even when I'm not 100% I still feel so ALIVE eating lotsa produce! {But I do feel best on 100% raw!}
We just had the most amazing salad, fulla sprouts, & fresh garden peas, & lotsa other wonderful live foods! I love how satisfied we both feel after eating fresh raw foods! At first, Hannah didn't even want salad tonight...after the first bite, she changed her mind, & by the time she was done, she wanted some of mine!

Cranberry smoothies!!!

Wow!!! I made a big purple-pink smoothie this morning, & it's sooo incredible I just have to share the recipe! (& you don't have to wait until NEXT Valentine's day to try it!)
~2 bananas
~Big handful of organic baby lettuces
~buncha frozen blueberries
~1+ tablespoons of cinnamon
~1 squirt of agave nectar
~1 cup or so of rasberries
~2 cups of frozen cranberries
Oh, my gosh, it's so incredible I want to go make another one right now for lunch...but just used all my cranberries! THey give it such a wonderful flavor, & with the cinnamon, mmmm! Did you know cinnamon helps prevent AND heal diabetes? I just read an interesting link on healing pre & full blown diabetes today, here it is (it ain't promoting raw, but still had useful info, & is on a very interesting site:
http://www.naturalnews.com/022638.html
I'm having lotsa pain in my right knee still, the left one seems to have totally healed now...when I get up, it clicks LOUDLY, & hurts! I'm trying to not over-use it, & am praying for it's total healing! It's amazing how much more we appreciate part of our body (& realize how much we use it!) when it ain't working right!
Found another link on this site, very thought-provoking, well-written, & a good one to share with those who see obesity as a disease...(which it's now officially been declared to be!)
http://www.naturalnews.com/001397.html
Lotsa stuff around the house to do, so I'm off to get started, & I have my rebounder set up to get on through the day, for just a minute or 2 at a time, every hour on the hour at least (which I read is the way to use it for draining/healing the lymphatic system...)
I'm so glad that God led me to the Raw Food Lifestyle! I feel more alive every day, like how I was created to feel & live! I've felt so BLAH for so many years (though I've been happy with my life overall...just not my health!) & it's so exciting to begin to anticipate the changes & possibilities right around the corner!
So...happy Valentine's day, everyone! Do your heart good, go get some exercise! & remember, "God is love!" Here's a Valentine's day present for you...
http://www.allaboutgod.com/god-is-love.htm

FINALLY, the scale is movin' again...

Decided to weigh in this morning, feelin' a bit different, smaller in my tummy, etc...& I'm down to 370 lbs!High a number as that still is, & frustrating as it is to be losing the same weight I lost before (then re-gained when I stopped bein' 100% raw...) still, I feel so excited, & happy with it!
I'm still 28+ lbs down from my highest weight...I'm still not exercising enough, so know it could be going faster, but at least it's comin' off again! Woo! My next goal is to start exercising more consistantly & release 10 more lbs (at least!) by the end of the month!
I'm charging up the camera right now to make & post my first vlog! (Video log, silly!) Shannon's going to help me post it here (my computer ain't co-operating!) later today! FINALLY! I'll do a more thorough one, showing my physical capabilities (& limitations) & full body shots (gulp) later, with Hannah.
Off to make a smoothie, then get ready to be in the movies! Lol! hope you're all stayin' healthy, eating gladly out of the abundance of God's incredible creation!
Speaking of which, check THIS out! The pics may or may not show up, but even if not, still, you'll MARVEL!!! {Read it all...it's not THAT long!}
http://margotbworldnews.com/archives/2008/Jan/Jan18/FoodSignatures.htm

~Re-inspired~

I'm soooo re-inspired to STAY raw, & am really LOVING the way I feel & how it affects my life! I fell on Friday, (wearing old sandals in the snow, silly me!) & injured both knees, & at first, I was really frustrated, because I've been wanting to exercise MORE, not less!
But then, it somehow spurred me on to get creative, & to not allow ANYTHING to ever hinder me again!!!
I'm so overwhelmingly eager for my FULL return to HEALTH!!! & God's made crystal clear to me what I need to do to obtain it...so to allow anything to hinder me is foolish, & I cannot allow even one day to go by without moving in the direction of RAWstoration!
So I'm finding ways to keep improving my fitness level, & will have to stick to running, swimming, climbing mountains in my dreams....for now!
I'm so excited, I FINALLY have my camera working again...my computer won't download pics still, though, so I'm going to get Shannon to help get them posted! & she's coming into town this week & is going to lend me her dehydrator!
I'm also starting a video log (Vlog!) of this journey (hopefully tonight, once Hannah's in bed), & I'll be posting them on YouTube (by invitation only, for now, until I'm 75-100 lbs down...I will post the link here, it just won't be available to the general public...)
It brings me such joy that my sis is exploring the raw lifestyle, too! Can't wait 'till she comes to visit, this time we can share recipes, & get healthier together! We'd planned on it at Christmas, but it didn't happen...it's not the easiest time to give up all your comfort foods, & familiar traditions...but it's the last Turkey dinner I know I'll ever eat!
(My next thanksgiving & Christmas feasts will be 100% raw, & I'm already gathering & testing the recipes I'll be using!)
Saw a really funny, cheezy, but VERY inspiring video today...I'll see if I can make the link work, you gotta check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3xOU2tLl7g
(Woohoo, it worked! Enjoy! & soon, I'm going to post a bunch more raw video links I've been finding with the other ones over there off to the left...)
I just can't get enough of salads! & guess what I had for breakfast this morning (after oil pulling...) a big bowl of RADISHES!!! It's what my body wanted!!!
Have a really rawlicious day, everyone! Enjoy the bounty of God's creation! He made the most perfect foods for us, please don't settle for less!!
Your body will THANK you!!!

Sooo thankful for support & accountability!

Day by day, as I'm climbing this mountain back to health, I'm growing so aware of all the ways that God's provided ALL the things I need to finally succeed in reaching my goals & being restored to health through what He created for food...
...accountability, through my (few) raw friends I see face to face, & the many I'm making on the RawFoodTalk message board {still haven't been able to afford to order Alyssa's book & DVD, but it's moving up on my list of priorities!}, it's become a place to share my struggles & adventures as I learn to do this consistantly...far-away-friends I've never met who encourage, educate & pray for me!
(As I'm able to for those just learning...what a joyful honor!)
...And who knew how much it would make a difference?!!?
I hadn't really realized just how much I needed accountability with this...
...when I had it before, at RawFoodBootCamp, I only let it in so far...& I allowed other things to interfere...but now it's all so much clearer, & now that I'm truly, fully ready, it's making such a difference!
Support, in many forms...though encouragement, sharing recipes, food, rides to the health food store & resources as needed...(even my sweet sis, who's working on getting out of debt, has been sacrifically helping me out financially to be able to afford to stay raw & get the things I need, knowing I was only able to afford it half the month most of the time! That in itself has spurred me on, & really lifted off the stressful aspects of doing this so I can finally get more consistant! {No more excuses or reasons NOT to be!*grin*} I'm finally sharing the link with her to this blog, letting her in further, to really understand what this journey has been (& is!) like for me! & she wants to learn more about & go raw!!! Woohoo!!! Can't wait to see all it does for her, too!!! Hi, Chrissy!!! Your goona love it!!!
{***Waving happily**)
People who believe in me, & are encouraging me to keep pressing on, & not give up, no matter what! Wow! What a major blessing! So many times, I've kinda given up on myself (not really, not permanently, of course, but until I could get refocussed, recommitted, & re-motivated! Which has taken anywhere from a week to a year!) but now, whenever I'm tempted to do so, I just can't, for the sake of those standing behind me! To know that others are in this with me, {as much as they can be!} is really the wind beneath my wings!
So all this is just to say I'm counting my blessings tonight, naming them one by one, & so many people have been impacting my life, I just wanted to publically thank you! You ARE making a big difference in my life, & soon the evidence will be revealed!!!
May God pour out His blessings upon your life a hundredfold in return!!!
I'm STAYIN' RAW!!!!

FINALLY weighed in again...

...& I waited to get on the scale again partly because of my period, & also because I didn't want what the scale says to influence what I do. I've been aiming to stay 100%, & have been doing pretty well, actually, but when I've let myself get too hungry, or run out of enough produce to make good meals, i've caved a few times...*sigh*...
...so on January 17th, I was at 379 (highest weight 398)...& here I am on February 2nd, 15 days later, only 5 pounds down, at 374. (24 lbs altogether...)
Part of me is getting kinda frustrated, I lost weight sooooo much faster last time I went raw, but I know that a big part of it is not having time, energy or strength most days to work out...so I've re-made some fitness goals with Raw Food Talk, & am determined to live a more active life...& yes, I'm cutting back on nuts, avacadoes & bananas!
I'll return to weighing in on Wednesday mornings, & recording it again on a weekly basis. I do feel healthier by the day, especially when I'm getting enough sleep, & moving!
I'm not going to let what I weigh determine what I do. If the weight needs to be shed slower this time, that's the way it is...I ain't goona let it slow me down!!!

~Adjusting to change~

I've noticed that when I begin to lose weight, & my center of gravity sorta shifts, my back always has to go through an adjustment period...usually after every 20 lbs or so is gone, I get major backaches that hinder my ability to do much...but I'm determined not to allow it to hinder me, & to work on strengthening my core, so that it doesn't slow me down this time~
I've also been noticing that my overall body pain is far less when I eat raw, & increases dramatically when I eat cooked foods...{especially of the extremely unhealthy variety...but even brown rice, baked potatoes, etc.}...it has me wondering how much of my FM pain has been dietary & weight related...I realize there are those with FM who are not overweight...& it has me wondering how much Raw living would help them...lots, I believe!
...I still don't believe that cooked food is an addiction, but I do know that people often crave what they're allergic to, or reacting to, & also, that cooking most foods produces levels of toxic substances that have been documented to rob us of health...{I need to research these substances more, so I know what I'm talking about! I can't even remember their names right now! Lol!}
But I believe that, just like one chooses to ingest drugs or alcohol, (which can lead to bondages to it, of course) we choose what we put in our mounths each day, each meal...if we choose junk, our flesh nature definately can become enslaved, in a way...but I know that we still always have the power to choose what we eat!
One of my biggest dreams concerning getting this weight off is the freedom to speak into other's lives about it (once my goals are reached, or at least closer to being accomplished...very few listen to a woman hundreds of pounds overweight...but when I can show my 'before' picture, I know they'll listen!}
I've been thinking a lot about those who hear & clearly see evidence that raw can heal them & still, they refuse to give up the comfort & familiarity that cooked (& SAD) food gives them.
It saddens me that I also made that choice for so long, but I know that living with regret robs me of my peace, so I've repented, been forgiven (for giving in to my carnal appetites, & not disciplining my flesh) & now am determined to just press on, & allow myself now to enjoy the treasure-house of discoveries that choosing (finally!) to consistantly eat this way has opened up to me! Once I decided to JUST DO IT, it began unfolding daily, in a very natural way...
I'm so thankful for the strength that seeking & trusting God gives me...I ask Him to show me how to care for (& assist Him in healing) my temple of His Holy Spirit...& every day, He shows me more!
{...& swiftly leads me away from things that would rob me of my time, energy, money, or spiritual safety!)
Who wouldn't love a Father like that?!?!?! He's such a wonderful Shepherd, leading me to green pastures, & to lie beside still waters...& giving me living waters, & food that nourishes every part of me!
He helps me adjust to every change I'm going through, & is preparing me for all that's ahead, even to the point of going ahead of me & making the way!
It fills me with awe, & such love & appreciation for Him, & His awesome ways!

~A cleansing day~

Wow! I FINALLY got my period again, after many, many months! (Only had 2 last year!!! Part of PCOS...& obesity/hormonal related...)
{I'll weigh in after I'm done!}
After just 3 weeks raw, & aprox. 20 lbs down from my highest weight, my body is beginning to function properly again! I'm so thrilled! I still hope & pray one day I could have more babies...just knowing my womb is healing brings me such joy!
I also began to get a HUGE cold sore today, but quickly took some lysene, & it dissapeared within the hour!!!
If you ever get cold sores, keep some on hand, it really works...especially if you take it at the first sign! It's one of the B vitamins, which help your body handle stress, which cold sores are almost always determined by!
(Or, you could just eliminate stress from your life! *grin*)
I've been eating tons of grapefruits (& other high in Vitamin C produce) which has often triggered them in the past, & know that sometimes detox can also trigger outbreaks. I also have been doing oil-pulling & skin brushing...hmmmm....
I have some concerns about the herpes simplex virus, having read that it stays in your body for life & can cause shingles & other things later in life! (This is the one that causes cold sores not the STD...)
(Shingles are very painful, I hear!)
I wonder if there's a test that can determine if the virus leaves the body of raw foodists after awhile...if you stop getting cold sores for YEARS, would that not be considered all but gone? Maybe the virus would still be there on a cellular level, maybe not...
...something else to research!
{Anyone with any info or leads on this, please Fwd!}
Anyways, today I'm just so in awe at how our body's natural inclination is always to HEAL ITSELF!!! All it requires is our co-operation, our obedience to following our Creator's plan & design for our fuel & functioning...
...lately, I've been really aware how I've been CREATED to MOVE!!!! I have dreams of running, swimming, hiking in the hills, walking in the forest....& I'm waking up more to the possibilities every day!!!
As the Bible says,
we ARE fearfully & WONDERFULLY made!!!

~A Juicy Kinda Day!~

I just chopped a bunch of carrots, apples & celery & Hannah's having a blast juicing them, I forgot how much she enjoys that part of it!
I've been feeling a little guilty/convicted that she's gained some weight (mainly on her tummy) this past year when we've been eating more take-out than usual, & not as healthy, when my health had me not up to preparing food...now she's struggling with craving sugar & processed food...when it's in the house, it's what she goes to first.
It doesn't tempt me (most days) anymore, but I think, for her sake, it's time to just keep it out of the house. We've returned to our 'one treat a week' rule, & that helps get her past that deprived feeling....MOST of the time!
Now to gather the ingredients to make that weekly treat a yummy raw dessert! (Ok, if it's raw, maybe 2 or 3 times a week!Or 4...or 5...)
The key to her getting excited about healthy food seems to be us doing it together....not me, or her doing it alone!
I'm off to go drink it now, & then get out in the shunshine! (As Hannah used to call it!)
Can't wait for 'Biggest Loser' tonight! I'm looking forward to working out while it's on, my back is soooo much better today! Not 100%, but close! Thanks, Lord!