~Slow Improvements~

I am soooooo frustrated with daily, constant pain. I almost can't remember my life without it, but sometimes a memory flashes back to something i used to be able to do easily, & I'm filled with such longing...
"...if wishes were horses, beggars would ride..."
I know that my health condition is serious, far beyond wishes & prayers changing what needs to change. I know that God is with me, helping me every step of the way, & He's healed many things in my life, but I'm in the shape I'm in as a consequence of the choices I've made, & that it's only through consistantly making different choices will this weight come off & the health problems reverse themselves...{ tough love, reaping what we sow, & all that...}
I'm so in awe of the amazing self-healing body God gave each of us, & am weary of going back & forth between treating my body as the temple of His Holy Spirit that it is, to neglecting it's needs, abusing it, putting things in it that He never intended me to, then wishing it functioned better, as it was created to do!
I read somewhere yesterday, blog-surfing, about those who've been sexually abused have much higher rates of eating disorders, weight problems etc...I've heard this before, & knew there was some truth in it, but don't put much stock in psychology or classifying people & symptoms, (we're all individuals, with various influencing factors in our lives, & i know God's able to heal & restore anyone willing to come to Him...)
...but as i was reading it, the Holy Spirit began to point out to me that though I've overcome many of the after-affects of the abuse I endured, I'm still often ignoring my body's needs (even for proper sleep, exercise, not just around food) & that there is a connection to all i endured as a child, & during my teen years, & in various forms throughout my life, until I gave my life to Him. I read once that many abused kids don't sleep well, stay up real late, to try to avoid the abuse. I remember doing this, & have recently discovered (after 42 years) that i actually LOVE getting up early, & feel great on a morning schedule (once I've adjusted) yet thought of myself as a night-owl all my life...
What hit me hard was recognizing that I've often had the thought, "It's ok, I'm strong, i can take it, I'll just keep going..." & how familiar that is to what got me through the hell on earth i lived through in my younger years.
The thing is, I'm NOT strong, physically, anymore {though i still have some muscle left that hasn't blubberized, as most of it has...} & I don't know how much more of carrying these 240+extra pounds my body can take.
I don't just want to survive, i want to THRIVE! I can't settle for minimal living anymore when i know that i was created for more!
So, early to bed, tired or not...more movement daily, increasing as I'm able...& lotsa raw, glorious raw, created to restore our bodies to what He meant for them to be...
...&, one day at a time, the changes will add up, right? Slow improvement is still better than going in reverse, or even standing still...