April 20, 2009

My Own Personal New Year!

I wrote a poem once, a long time ago, that I can't find now...it started out...

Your birthday is your own personal new year,a point in time between then....& now....
A place to look back on as a change that began in a moment of time,
a time to reflect on the time your life here on earth began with your birth,
& led you to now..................
~Yesterday, I celebrated another point in time that re-sets the clock,
on another anniversary of my birth...
...& it's been one of the most gently profound & intense turning points of my life...so far....
The time has come for full speed ahead!
No more false starts,
starting & stopping over & over,
beginning, & then, for a variety of reasons,
withdrawing from the new direction I've been heading...

...I'm fully surrendered now to where it's clearly leading!
There is only starting over,
& allowing myself the healing found in no longer hindering my direction,
no longer choosing to linger in ditches,
rather than remaining steadfast on the narrow path...
....if I fall in one, from this day forward,
I'll just climb right on back out,
or reach up my hands to the Father to lift me from the shadows & pain
I've inflicted on myself again...
{...only He understands the deepest reasons why...}
And just now, on the beginning of the Waltons, as they speak of spring's arrival,
even as Hitler was filling the world with the coldness of his evil intentions & actions,
the mountain was coming alive with the spring's glorious beauty & wonder of new life,
& John boy began the show with his usual insight & summary of the story to follow...

"There was the struggle for Mary-Ellen to emerge from her painful winter
(her husband was killed at Pearl Harbour)
& she was emerging into a new spring of her own..."

"That is exactly how I feel....every year on my birthday, but this year, more than most!
This has been a very loooong, painful winter......making spring all the sweeter!!!

Celebrate EVERY new beginning you've been given!
Each dawn is a birth, a day to begin again...
...a birthday is a gift of another year to learn, grow & change...
...growing older is a blessing that the Lord has pre-arranged!"

...& renew a steadfast spirit within me..."

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