April 07, 2009

The Power of Choosing, the Blessing of Free Will...& food "addictions"...

Free will...been thinkin' a lot about it lately, in relation to the raw food way of living...
I confess, the whole concept of addiction to various types of food has just never really sat well with me...
...yes, I realize there are addictive preservatives (especially potasium sorbate & sodium benzoate) in numerous processed foods, & I know that milk has an opiate-like substance in it that can cause addictive cravings, & that we often crave what we're allergic to...
...& yes, I know I was 'addicted' to chocolate for many years...(yet when I decide to give it up, & return to carob, it was a done deal...unless I choose to indulge again...which I rarely do, since realizing I have a strong sensitivity to caffeine...)
And I do realize that there are physical ramifications to what we eat, & how it affects us, in numerous ways......still, I struggle with the concept that we cannot control what we put in our mouths...
...mostly because, much as I have cravings, like anyone else, & much as I've struggled to stay raw for a long period of time, still, I know that each time I've 'broken raw', no matter how far along in my detox I was (...whether just starting, or much further along...) & the cravings & struggles that can come with that, it's ALWAYS happened due to a moment of choosing, of deciding to not honour my commitment to stay raw...
...I either choose to no longer eat the things my taste buds still like {& tell me I want!} that I know are harmful to me, & reap the benefits...
...or I make a decision to indulge, & deal with the consequences...(...in my health,on the scale, with discouragement, & how I feel about giving in again...)
No-one forces the food into my mouth, shopping cart, house, or body...nobody but me chooses to say yes to my flesh, rather than listen to what I've learned, & know now to be best for me...
...the deeper question seems to be, "Why do we do what we know hurts us?"
But sometimes the answer really is as simple as, "Cuz I WANTED to!!!"
{ Or, as the Bible says, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!" }
I remember hearing an analogy once that lent me much strength in my spiritual walk, & my ability to discipline my flesh, & resist temptation... & lately, it's been on my mind & I've been able to apply it to my raw food journey....
..so here it is, maybe it'll help you strengthen your resolve to stay raw, as it is for me...
Picture 2 aggressive pitbulls in your back yard...one is all black, one is pure white...
...each day, when you feed them, you only throw out enough food to feed one...
...they'll fight over it, & struggle, & neither will ever get what they need...
...but if you choose one to feed, the other will eventually grow weaker, & die...
(Ok, you know I'd never do this with REAL dogs, right???!!??)
The spiritual implications are clear, regarding walking after the flesh, or after the spirit,which the Bible says wage war against each other...
...when I applied this to my changing lifestyle, I saw, again, how it all boils down to daily choosing to do what's right...when I "feed the black dog," then I will experience the strengthening of the part of me that wants to eat according to appetite & taste only, in the moment of hunger, seeking
things from food other than nourishment!

But when I "feed the white dog", I find myself willingly accepting that it'll take time to re-train my appetites, & that food is meant to nourish, & assist our body is doing what it's meant to do, & I willingly, gladly, easily put the things God made for food into my body, rather than the old things that no longer satisfy, {except momentarily}...

That is, I believe, how some just go 100% raw, & never look back, with few setbacks, & others go back & forth for years...it's all about the will...
...when we feed the wrong dog, when we don't support ourselves 100% in our commitment to do what we know is best for us, & we go back & forth, we're weak sometimes, strong other times, depending on which dog we're feeding...
...we fluctuate because we haven't settled it yet...we want both health & cooked food...we want to eat what we want, & still don't fully accept the consequences...
(... enough to consistantly turn away from harmful things yet, at least!)
...for me, the key to overcoming has always been knowing that it's my choice of which dog to feed...
...eat to live, or live to eat...
...I want to LIVE! Not for food, not with failing health, not letting my appetites control me, but controlling them,& enjoying all the benefits of choosing LIFE!!!
When I accepted the current teaching that say that we struggle with staying raw because of food 'addictions',I started to feel powerless, helpless, like it would always be a struggle...
...yet the moment I return to accepting that I am the one in control of what I put in my body each day, (not my cravings, my appetites, my past eating habits, my brain or body chemistry, or some other outside power) then I am suddenly strengthened, & empowered to make choices that support my goals...
...& I am free from the consequences of thinking I have no choice, or can't change...
(...& most importantly, when I'm not feeling 'in control' enough to discipline my flesh, (like when I'm tired!) I turn to God, & ask His Holy Spirit dwelling in me to control me...& if I'm being sincere, He does!)
To me, it's quite similar to the difference between choosing to stop drinking, (as I've seen numerous people do overnight, {with God's help, even with heavy long-term drinking...} & calling yourself an alchoholic, even many years after ceasing from abusing themselves with alcohol...leaving them always fearful of going back to it, (& needing meetings to help them choose not to) thinking it has a power over them, though no-one ever forced them to drink...
(...& don't get me wrong, I realize things happen/change in brain chemistry with drugs & alcohol that can make quitting difficult, but I beleive it's still always a choice to continue, to return to something that is clearly causing harm...I believe the reasons are more internal/emotional (& spiritual) than physical, is what I mean...
...& yes, I know detoxing from drugs & alcohol can be horrible...but still, for those who are done with it, those who choose to stop, even if they need help, they succeed!
You can lead a horse to water, right?
But if they're not ready to change, to let go of self-destructive behaviour, it doesn't matter how many meetings or detox centers they go to...they have to want to be free more than they want the high...I believe it's the same with food...
...when you think you're powerless, you are...
...when you think you can't stop, you can't...
...when you think something outside of you controls you, it does...
...when you think food can control you, it does...
...& when you change your mind, & take full responsibility, (often requiring letting go of a victim mentality, forgiving, repenting & learning a new way to live!) you suddenly feel the weight of the reins in your hands that were there all along, but your hands were numb to...
...& you can begin to rein in what has been running wild,
as well as take off at a gallop where you've been stuck, walking in circles...
For those who believe differently, please know I don't write this in judgement...
...I'm just sharing what I've discovered is true for me!
It resonates in me, & continues to strengthen me by the day!
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!" {John 8:36}
He is, He has, & He continues to...when I'm willing (an act of the will!) to be free!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anastazia, my sister, my friend...I am often amazed at the wisdom the Lord has given you but then again, it makes perfect sense. You are a willing vessel.

Thank you once again for being bold enough to share your thoughts and beliefs with the world. I for one, respect you greatly for it.

Much love in Christ,
your sister
Shannon

~Anastazia~ said...

Thank-you, Shannon...it's Him in me...I'm just as dumb as the next person! *smile*
~Anastazia~